I Will Never Get Over the Loss

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Why is it that people think that you have to "move on" after the loss of a loved one? I don't want to "get over it"! It has been almost six years, and my heart still aches the same as it did the day I got the phone call. My dad had been sick not even a handful of times in all the years I lived at home. When I moved away I spoke with him frequently, and never heard a complaint one. Is it horrible that I blame the woman he was living with for twelve years? She had training in CPR, but by her own admission did nothing to save my father when he collapsed. Two of my five children were visiting him over summer vacation and watched the whole thing unfold. As my second oldest who was only 11 at the time has matured, he has since recreceivhis certified nurses assistant certification and has spoken with his teacher and several other health professionals about the chances of survival during a heart attack if CPR is administered. All have told him that the chances would have been greatly increased if my dads girlfriend had tried. I often wonder what the reasoning was behind her doing absolutely nothing to save him that day, and I refuse to speak with her while my sister and her children treat her as if she is part of our family. Maybe one day I will get over it, but the fact that my children who were there that day and were only ten, and eleven years old at the time even question it, I really don't see how forgiveness will ever be possible.