Can you let Facebook ruin friendship as a grownup?

@miniam (9154)
Bern, Switzerland
March 15, 2016 6:51pm CST
A friend l have known almost all life likes facebook, I'm the one who introduced her to facebook in 2007 because l felt it was cool. It started to create problems between us when she posted our night out photos without asking for my opinion, l did not want my face and my private life in Facebook.Last straw came when we attended a party when l was supposed to be home and it too landed on Facebook. l can't explain how she took to it, she will post her photos at the saloon, the food she`s about to eat, nights out, what she is cooking. l mean she kind of feel incomplete if she does not post her every activity in Facebook, when she lost a child, she posted the grave photos on facebook. With time l accepted that our friendship could not go on if she continued in Facebook.l did not want my friends and family seeing my friend pout or make teenage poses on Facebook(yes she do pout like teenagers do) She is not a little girl, she is a grown woman, a grand mother of 2. lm I being selfish and losing my childhood friend because l do not like what she does? l have come to accept she can not use social media in moderation.
9 people like this
14 responses
@JudyEv (342179)
• Rockingham, Australia
16 Mar 16
FB really brings out the worst in some people. I can't imagine that she is acting like this and has two grandchildren. I can't stand FB and stuff like this just makes me more against it. I admit some use it well and are able to keep in touch with family through it, etc - but it's not for me.
5 people like this
@JudyEv (342179)
• Rockingham, Australia
16 Mar 16
@miniam That is very true. I'm sure FB is a good servant to many people. It's when it becomes a master that it is a worry.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
Some people never took the time to think or understand how they can and should use facebook
2 people like this
@UmiNoor (4522)
• Malaysia
16 Mar 16
I have never liked how Facebook can change people. It just shows that some people need the attention that they crave that they don't get from people in their real life. These are very needy people who need the approval of others to make themselves feel good. It's sad that someone like your friend need this kind of attention. Perhaps she doesn't get enough attention at home. I hope you can maintain your friendship with her because you've known her for quite a long time. Perhaps just don't get into a picture with her.
3 people like this
@UmiNoor (4522)
• Malaysia
20 Mar 16
@miniam That is true. Just don't get into anything compromising when she's around.
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
Thanks Umi,this is way past needy, it`s more like an obsession.Dont worry l stopped taking photos with my friend,but there are times like when you are in a group or at a party when you have no control over everything
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
16 Mar 16
If you're not comfortable with what she does on Facebook, I don't think it's wrong for you to distance yourself from her. I survive well without having any Facebook account ever as a personal choice.
3 people like this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
Hi Sishy,l have distanced myself for a long time now, was just confused if im being too harsh or judgemental on her choices.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Mar 16
Facebook is unfortunate in the way it can really ruin relationships. I am also not one for posting much, and I would never ever post a photo of anyone on there without express permission. Many do not bother to ask and go on and on about their every move in all situations. If you do not want to lose here as a friend, then you have to accept how she is. If not, then you will have to lose her because of this activity. I am sorry it is a difficult decision for you.
2 people like this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
l really would hate to loose her as a friend but l hate what Facebook has turned her into.Or maybe she was this person all along and l did not know it. No, l do not want to accept how she is.As a person she is ok,but as facebook posing grandma no no
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 16
@miniam I understand..this is why I despise what facebook has caused for many people.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37381)
• Toccoa, Georgia
16 Mar 16
Facebook can be addicting, I am sorry she has taken it to the extreme. I like Facebook and I post some pictures, but not everything I am doing like some do.
2 people like this
@UmiNoor (4522)
• Malaysia
16 Mar 16
I don't see how Facebook can be addictive. I find it quite unnecessary. And I don't find it interesting at all. I don't know why some get so addicted to it.
3 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (37381)
• Toccoa, Georgia
16 Mar 16
@UmiNoor People who get addicted to it are those who like to learn new news all the time and who are probably lonely. By the way, I remember you from Persona Paper. You do know that site is closing down, didn't you?
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
@LeaPea2417 Persona paper? no it`s not me, i have even never heard the name.
1 person likes this
@Macarrosel (7498)
• Philippines
16 Mar 16
Maybe you have to tell her frankly that you don't like what she did in facebook especially about your photos. Maybe she will listen because she is your childhood friend and seems you are close with each other. You know I really hate people posting everything in facebook as if they make facebook as their photo album and diary.
3 people like this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
l tried several times politely and tactfuly and it does not seem to work, then l said it like it is and then l was left to be the bad person
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (23240)
• Philippines
16 Mar 16
you can actually choose which ones to be posted on your timeline. or you can just ask your friend nicely to take it down. never had this experience though.
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (23240)
• Philippines
16 Mar 16
@miniam i dont share a lot of photos on Facebook too. well i hope this will be sorted for you soon.
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
Thanks Joy, this is really affecting our friendship. l just wish it`d stop or reduce to a minimum like other people
• Asaba, Nigeria
16 Mar 16
just forget about every thing and fuge ahead with her, just forgive her ok, that is called friend
• Preston, England
16 Mar 16
photographers have free control of their photos - the time to advise her not to use them is to ask not to be photographed - once taken, it is her choice, though knowing your wishes she should respect them. I would
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
17 Mar 16
@miniam I don't tend to mind my photo being used - many of my friends are models, dancers and photographers and I often perform live poetry so I end up photographed so often I barely notice - sometimes disappointed if not captured on camera at some events
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
17 Mar 16
@arthurchappell lol,im quite the opposit
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
Thanks Arthur,im sure you`d not like an innocent pic of you with friends on a day out posted on face book without your knowledge or permision. As you say, l have now stopped having our photos taken together.
1 person likes this
@karjatwala (1120)
• Pune, India
19 Mar 16
There has to be a limit to what one can share on Facebook or on any other social media where one's private life is brought out into the open.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
20 Mar 16
or, we have to use common sense when using social media
1 person likes this
@gudheart (12659)
16 Mar 16
I no longer go on it anymore as it was really annoying me. I can see it affecting friendships for sure.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
l can understand your choice, lt has really affected my friendship and robbed me of my childhood friend.
@rakski (126114)
• Philippines
16 Mar 16
I feel for you as I am also a private person and I do not want all my activities posted on facebook. I do post there but not like her or the others which posted every second of their life there.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
17 Mar 16
Then im sure you understand me.Thanks for responding
@AkoPinay (11544)
• Philippines
16 Mar 16
Cover your face the next time you see her in person. LOL
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Mar 16
this is not funny really
1 person likes this
16 Mar 16
No. Forget about Facebook if it ruins your friendship. It is just a thing..Social network on your computer or other device. You cannot let real life get ruined because of some imaginative type. I dont use Facebook a lot. Sometimes, to chat with my friends, and i never let it ruin anything. Many people dont even know why are they using Facebook. :)
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
17 Mar 16
But if you feel Facebook was interfering in your life? it makes me crazy when l open my facebook and find a picture of a pouting grandma,or a grandma sticking out her tongue this is not a joke.
• United Arab Emirates
18 Mar 16
I think facebook fills the narcissistic side of a lot of people, some even get addicted to having selfies so that they can post it on social media. But then I think it is sad to end a friendship just because of facebook. My sister and I send photos of each other to messenger first then we decide which photos we can post on our individual fb profile, I do the same to my friends. Maybe you can talk to her to do the same. Maybe she's lonely or just need attention.
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
18 Mar 16
Thanks, l have just given up on her