Mental Preparation for Marriage

@Shayani (250)
Pune, India
March 17, 2016 5:03am CST
I really wonder how much mental preparation we all need to enter into this life long bond of togetherness and partnership. To be frank I think I am quite scared of this , and really have no idea how and in what way I need to be prepared to be ready for this partnership and commitment. I am scared since many a times I have seen many of friends making wrong decision in choosing their soul mate and also their suffering . For guys who are " one man woman" or " one woman man " , this seems to be a serious topic. The level of fear seems more at times than excitement. What if things went wrong? What if things changed after marriage ? What if we become indifferent towards each other? Lot of this kind of thoughts kept creeping until and unless you have something hard to make them just disappear ! Well I would like some true advice and suggestions and even some experiences you friends would like to share.
7 people like this
7 responses
@Lucky15 (37374)
• Philippines
17 Mar 16
Wish i can give you some :(
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
17 Mar 16
You have no idea to be shared about happy married life?
1 person likes this
@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
17 Mar 16
No worry... you will definitely have some in some later part of your life.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
23 Mar 16
@Shayani - What if, she decide not get married?
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
17 Mar 16
You have asked a very interesting and valid question. One needs to be mentally prepare in the sense - (a) one is going to live with another person for a lifetime (b) Everything will be new in the new environment, so one needs to absorb things one by one; (c) In the context of an Indian marriage - When you get married and start staying with your hubby and may be along with in-laws too, you need to understand that they have different lifestyle than yours. It could never be same like you had in your parents' house, so you need to adopt that with the passage of time. (d) I am not clear what do you mean by wrong decision by your friends. You use all your wisdom and experience to choose your partner (in the context of love marriage) and you should never repent on your decision. (e) Your apprehensions have no solid ground, these are just your apprehensions. We as a human beings always apprehend about tomorrow however, more than 80% of our apprehensions do not come out true, please remember this. (f) Married life is quite different from your bachelor life and what you see around you or in movies, it is not going to be same with you. You will have to change yourself after marriage and he will have to change himself. Adjusting with each other, accommodating each other, giving respect and space to each other are some of the key areas for happy married life. On the other hand finding faults and nagging could proved to be determinantal. (g) There is saying - "when we reach the bridge, then we will decide how to cross it". The saying applies almost everywhere. Some of your apprehension may turn out true, if so happens then you will be required to take a call/decision at that point of time, you just cannot pre-decide your course of action. Please do not listen to your friends who share negative experiences and make you feel more scared about your marriage. You should have a belief in yourself - "Yes, I can do it" and you will do it. If you have any specific doubts marriage, you could PM me.
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
18 Mar 16
@Shayani - I am glad to hear that my tips/suggestions helped you overcome your apprehensions about marriage and married life. If you still have some doubts, you are always welcome to clarify.
1 person likes this
@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
23 Mar 16
@dpk262006 thank you dear... sure will turn up to you... if I have some... :)
1 person likes this
@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
17 Mar 16
It is just awesome !!! I really appreciate what you just shared here, and trust me you have strong points here, which now make my head quite clear. But yes , we can not pre decide our course of action ..very true. Thank a lot dear !! :D
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
18 Mar 16
I have the same worries before i got married but I actually made sure that I have chosen the right guy so I did not mind my worries and married him just the same. We are happily married for 30 years now.
1 person likes this
@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
23 Mar 16
WOW !!... 30 years of togetherness and married life !!! I wish you all the happiness and luck for your future !! ... wish me too ... since I am kind of person who depends easily on her partner emotionally...
@cacay1 (83581)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
18 Mar 16
Many said that we will only know the true attitude of a husband or wife after 2 years of marriage; others after one year. Just do not be afraid as long as there is love in your heart and in his heart.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83581)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Mar 16
@Shayani You're welcome. It's you who can decide better.Good luck to you and your love of life.
@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
23 Mar 16
yes... I too have heard similar kind of things somewhere, where they said " true colors of your partners only reveals after 2-3 years of marriage " But I want to avoid any sort of apprehensions right now, at this stage. Thanks !!
1 person likes this
@AkoPinay (11544)
• Philippines
21 Mar 16
That's the reasons why at 41 I am still single
1 person likes this
@Shayani (250)
• Pune, India
23 Mar 16
Oh !! you would like to share the reason for that... I wont mind listening to your experience and reasons. :)
@ReiraLee (214)
• Singapore
23 Mar 16
I don't think we can ever be prepared for marriage.. unless you've been married before. For most of us, especially first-timers, we go into the relationship with a lot of hopes and questions as well. I think you have got to experience it for yourself... and see how things go.
1 person likes this
@Sweetsona (300)
• India
6 May 16
When u meet the right one, your mind will just set itself up. Dont worry