~Family Can Be Really Hurtful~
By Jennifer
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
Valdosta, Georgia
March 18, 2016 9:17am CST
I used to let things bother me a lot more than I do now. I try to let most of the pain go right out the window but every now and then something gets me and hurts before I realize it.
Yesterday I spoke with my sister on the phone and she said something very painful to me. She said Julian's health problems that he might have is my fault because I wasn't making healthy choices while pregnant with him.
I have now forgiven her for the comment but it helps for me to talk about it here to let go a little more. I am not sure why my family insists on constantly putting me down but it is their loss for not seeing who I truly am.
26 people like this
29 responses
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
18 Mar 16
I am not a stranger to that Lovings.
It is something you have chosen to forgive, however my heart is hardened from the constant comments.
4 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@Tiarasoceanview I'm sorry that you know exactly how this feels. I wouldn't wish that on anyone-especially not you. 
4 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@TiarasOceanView Thank you, I am pretty used to it too but unfortunately it still hurts at times. I do try my best for my children. 
2 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
18 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies Thank you Lovings..it is something I am accustomed to, sadly. I also do not wish this on you my friend..you are a very decent woman with giving only the absolute best care for your children. What your sister said should burn her mouth out quite frankly.
4 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@marlina Thank you. I chose to forgive her for the comment, I just wish it didn't happen as often as it does.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@dodo19 Aahh! My comment disappeared again! I did respond to you but I see it's gone now. Grrr...
Anyway, yeah these things can just happen. I am not a health nut but I did the best I could.
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
19 Mar 16
If I remember correctly your family gave you a lot of grief when you were pg.
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Mar 16
@AbbyGreenhill Yeah, they give me grief for a lot of things and I just try to turn my cheek and forgive. Some things do hurt though and this was one of them since I try so hard to be a good mother.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Mar 16
@AbbyGreenhill I just don't understand what they would be jealous of. They have more than I do.
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
19 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies It sounds like some of them are jealous for some reason. Don't let them get to you.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@jaboUK I know, my husband said the same thing but I just can't do that because then I feel like I am in the wrong too.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@jabouk Yeah it was hateful, something I would not say to my enemy.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
18 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies I don't think I would speak to her again unless she apologises.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@gudheart Yes it does show their true colors, and it reflects on them not us.
1 person likes this
@gudheart (12659)
•
18 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies Very true. At least we know better to trust them with anything personal.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
18 Mar 16
Unfortunately family will always be critical of anything we do. I come from a large family, and am the eldest of 7 children. I am criticised for many things. However, nobody says it to my face. I can sense what they are thinking though. Or, maybe I put too much thought into things.
I am sorry that your family puts you down. Seems they are a little jealous of what you have and what they apparently do not.
Big hugs to you.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
18 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies and there ya have it. We can only live our own lives happily and not listen to the nay sayers.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@ElusiveButterfly Yeah, I am not like that so I guess i just don't understand it. I am happy for my family members and I mind my own business-guess that's a foreign concept to them. Even if they make a mistake-I don't shove it down their throat or gossip about it-I have my own life to live.
I have no idea what they could be jealous of! The only thing I have that they don't is a happy marriage and a relationship with God.
2 people like this
@allknowing (136369)
• India
19 Mar 16
Family is supposed to rally round and expect nothing in return but that is history now. It is time we depend on society and picke members from there and make them our family,
1 person likes this
@allknowing (136369)
• India
20 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies Everyone these days is clinging around their own small world.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Mar 16
@allknowing Yes they are, but I don't have great family sadly. I have a wonderful husband and children and a wonderful church family-that is all I need. =)
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3314)
• United States
19 Mar 16
I am sorry your sister said this to you. I know how much it must have hurt your feelings. I wonder if your family is jealous of you?
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3314)
• United States
19 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies Well, I have found that people who try to make others feel small, are really insecure themselves.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Mar 16
@slund2041 It's okay, thank you. It did hurt me but I should be used to it by now. I don't know what they would be jealous of...
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@LadyDuck Yeah I felt the same way but they never think of my feelings to be honest. But I just have to forgive and move on. No we cannot choose our family, that's for sure. Lol.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@amadeo Yeah, I usually don't let these comments bother me but when it comes to my children it hurts.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
18 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies do not let it bother you.Just relax and breathe.
1 person likes this
@lilnana1111 (2305)
• United States
19 Mar 16
Ouch, that's pretty hurtful, even if she thought it, she didn't have to say it.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
20 Mar 16
@Lilnana1111 Yeah it was hurtful and she often says things that hurt me.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
18 Mar 16
Some people are just miserable and you have to let it go for you own mental health. I know it's hard when it's family, and easy to say but hard to do. I know I have family members I rather not deal with as well.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@fishtiger58 I think it hurts more at times because I do everything in my power to be nice and keep peace with everyone. I would never intentionally hurt anyone. My sister and I are close usually but she says the most hateful things at times.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Mar 16
@fishtiger58 Yeah I think she does feel that way, your right. Even if she does, there's a way to say things and a way not to-she hasn't learned that.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
19 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies Sometimes sisters think they have a right to say things you may not want to hear. I don't agree with that but that's how it seems sometimes.
1 person likes this
@Cintronwriter (564)
• United States
18 Mar 16
Not cool. You did the best you could while pregnant. Why bring up old stuff? Does she know she hurt you?
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@Cintronwriter Yeah it wasn't cool at all. She doesn't know that she hurt me. I didn't want to fuel the fire.
1 person likes this
@Cintronwriter (564)
• United States
21 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies got it. You're being the bigger person. That takes humility. Good for you.
@GardenGerty (160663)
• United States
19 Mar 16
People have been doing this blame thing for a long time. Remember when the disciples asked Jesus why a man was born blind, was it the parent's fault of the baby in the womb. Jesus said neither, it was so that God could be glorified. Keep your chin up.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Mar 16
@GardenGerty I never read that verse before until you shared it here so thank you! That was nice to read. =)
@MakingCents (743)
•
18 Mar 16
I hate when someone says something like that. Lets pretend even for a second that she's right. How would that help you? It wouldn't. It would just make you feel worse which helps nobody.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@MakingCents Your absolutely right, even if she was correct that would have done nothing but hurt me and not change a thing. Very good point, thank you.
@LeaPea2417 (37351)
• Toccoa, Georgia
18 Mar 16
I understand fully, because my own family has said things to me that it was my husband and my fault that my older son made some unwise choices, when it was not our fault at all. They now see the truth thank goodness.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@Leapea2417 I'm sorry your family has said some hurtful things to you as well. =( We can do our best and raise our children the best way we know how but once their grown they will always make their choices-whether good or bad.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37351)
• Toccoa, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@LovingMyBabies That is very true.
1 person likes this
@DanieGirl80587 (2713)
• United States
18 Mar 16
What an awful sister! She has no right to say that or judge you! Even if you ate the best things and exercised and did everything right, he still could have had health issues. It is no one's fault! Shame on her for making you upset and making you feel like you aren't a good mom. Do not listen to that negativity because you know who you are and what a good mom and person you are,
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@DanieGirl80587 Remember what I told you about my parents? Yeah, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. =(
Yeah, sometimes we do the very best and things still happen. Thank you! That is something I take pride in is being a good mother so when people say something about that part of my life it bothers me.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Mar 16
@mom210 Yeah as I have gotten older I can forgive and move on faster than I used to be able to. Thank God! They do think they can say or do whatever because we are family.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (82791)
• United States
18 Mar 16
As hurtful as your sisters comment was, it's good to let it go and not dwell on it. I'm sure you did the best for your baby while pregnant and wouldn't have jeopardized your pregnancy.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 16
@Marilynda1225 Yeah, I just needed to vent about it here before completely letting go. I did the best I could, like I always do for my children.
1 person likes this
