Her beast (poem)

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Just curious to know if anyone can relate to this poem I just poem? ..... Her beast 3-29-16 Familiar things surround me as I lay in this bed So many things swirling in my head She's sleeping beside me in a world full of dreams Completely oblivious that I'm bursting at the seams I can't close my eyes because it won't go away The things I've seen that turn skies to gray Fire and explosions fill up my brain I wonder if I'll ever be the same She smiles in her sleep and I know she feels safe I want to hold her and hope this all fades I snuggle in close and all is good so it seems Then I awaken with fright and muffle my screams I don't want to wake her for she's a beauty at peace But I can't help but wonder why she stays with this beast I've murdered because I was commanded to do so Told to hate people I didn't even know They threaten our country so we protect against terrorists Attacks on our innocence we cannot forget The turmoil in my head is driving me insane I look at her and feel so ashamed Not of my job, no of that I am proud I burst with pride and shout it out loud I'm a soldier by choice because I love this land I will always be a proud American But I am ashamed because I'm different than what she chose Yet she still stays and she still knows She loves me through the nightmares and holds my heart She's stood by me from the very start She is the only one who can calm me down The only one who makes me feel safe and sound In her arms is where I always want to be I'll never understand how she loves me She begins to stir and reaches for my arm I pull her close, she's my good luck charm I'll hold her close as she sleeps with such peace For she is my beauty and I am her beast