Am I too jealous this time? I think not!
@shaggin (72190)
United States
April 1, 2016 12:37pm CST
I usually don't like to post things about my relationship on here but this time I really could use some advice.
A local bar that my man goes too often is doing a Autism Speaks Bachelor Auction. Men get bid on to have a night with them doing whatever... a movie, dinner etc. The girl who bids the highest gets the night with him and the money goes to the charity.
I was laughing about it thinking its a fun idea for single men and woman. Today I asked my man if he heard about it and he said that he might do it that they asked him to.
I feel him doing it says the ladies that he is single. He thinks I'm being too jealous. I told him I don't want him doing fun stuff with other girls.
I told him him jokingly that if he does it I will go and big on another guy. He doesn't care. I think he obviously doesn't care about me.
What does everything think of this. How would you react in this situation.
7 people like this
5 responses
@yukimori (10148)
• United States
1 Apr 16
Personally, I think it says a lot about what he thinks about your boundaries. It's quite reasonable to say that you don't want a partner to participate in a bachelor auction where the end result will be him essentially going on a 'date' with the winning bidder.
I'm thinking you're seeing some red flags between his behavior in this situation and some of the things that have happened previously, such as the parenting issues that have come up. What you said in the comments about him not respecting your desire to be left alone when you're mad is niggling at me.
Is it going to be a deal breaker for you if he agrees to participate?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72190)
• United States
1 Apr 16
Well he is just being goofy when I am annoyed. It isn't to big a deal on that point. I really do think this will be a breaking point in our relationship if he does participate in this event. He said he should get one of his friends to do it and then he will bid on them. I said that would be funny but he said his friends gf would never let him do it. I said that his friend is smarter then he is and he said probably.
@Letranknight2015 (52079)
• Philippines
2 Apr 16
I don't think it's fair to just make you wait for him worrying about him. this is not just a big deal, this should be considered a red flag already as if he doesn't care about your relationship anymore. I mean look at him the way he goof off, maybe he mastered the art of pretending and yet he could do that to other girls? this is alarming. I think if he really loves you, he won't do it.
@shaggin (72190)
• United States
3 Apr 16
He did'nt think that 1 am was that late and that I don't need to wait up for him. I just worry and can't sleep until I know he's home safe. In the past he went to the bars and got drunk coming home drunk many nights a week. I trusted him then completely and unfortunately I don't now.
@Letranknight2015 (52079)
• Philippines
3 Apr 16
@shaggin I hope he change and doesn't make it a habit. he has wife and kids, what the hell is he thinking
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
1 Apr 16
I think it's kind of normal to not want your man going out with other girls in this kind of situation. I can understand where you're coming from. Maybe just explaining how you feel may help the situation. I don't know if it'll change anything, but it might make a difference.
@shaggin (72190)
• United States
1 Apr 16
He knows I'm mad and kept doing little things to bug me because he knows when I am mad I just want to be left alone. I think the fact he didn't get home until 1 am from the bar last night makes it worse. I was exhausted waiting for him to get home. I worry when he is gone. I imagine all the bad things that could happen.
@Lazyblogs (494)
• Chandigarh, India
1 Apr 16
I think you should calmly talk to him about how you feel about it
@shaggin (72190)
• United States
1 Apr 16
I feel I was pretty calm. He didn't say he was going to do it for sure but its the fact that he doesn't think its a big deal at all and thinks its just me being jealous. If I was really nasty I would ask an ex go and bid on him lol. I don't know if I could be that mean though. I guess if I want to end the relationship that would work.
1 person likes this
@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
3 Apr 16
I think it does communicate a message of, "I'm available." And you're quite right to say that makes you uncomfortable. But you might try wording it that way when you talk to him about it, as threatening to bid on one of the other gents clearly doesn't bother him. And yes, perhaps you also need to talk about why it doesn't....
@shaggin (72190)
• United States
3 Apr 16
I think maybe he just isnt a jealous guy that way but it does make me wonder if he just doesn't care about me. I think you have good advice here to be calm about it instead of me just saying he better not or I will get mad. I feel things are just worse today. My anxiety is out of control. At one point I was starting to feel faint from it.
