Sometimes I get so frustrated with my family

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I am no fly on the wall so I can not see all the goings on at my sister's house. I love her but sometimes I could just slap her and my brother in law. They have a very laid back approach to parenting, and I am not saying that's wrong... but it's not exactly right either. I have no children, I know you might say "well then you can't put your two cents in." Well I'm not trying to back seat parent, I'm just trying to do what I think is right for my niece and nephew. My niece and nephew both have a tablet and I've just found out that they both have "Online friends." WAIT! Now when I was around my nieces age, and when I was around my nephews age... I had online friends. I mean, heck I still do... However, I was also smart enough to know NOT to give out vital info. Location? USA. Where in the USA? NC. Where in NC? Not telling you that, BYE! That's how I did things when I was their age, I knew NOT to give out too much info and to get away from a person who was asking too many questions. I've told the kids to do this in the past, especially after one particular episode with my niece... I was helping her with something to do with her tablet when I see a comment she has posted on a youtube video. It has her home address! Albeit mis-spelled and with some numbers wrong, but it was close enough.. AND She included the City. I sat down right then and there and told her that was not happening again and why it wasn't going to happen. I told her I don't care how much you change on an address, those really determined can figure it out if they wanted to. I didn't tell the mom. Why? My sister doesn't understand technology, she never really has been interested in it. They (the kids parents) don't know enough about technology to be able to monitor their kids actions online. All I can do is tell them to be careful, and what not to do... Now I have confidence that my niece won't say or do anything stupid. That all she is doing is sharing interests and not vital info. My nephew, I can believe he is also not sharing info like that.. .but his is a whole other case. He needs psychological help. At times I think he is autistic, especially the way he has breakdowns. However, he also says things that are somewhat scary sometimes. Then there are times when he annoys people and they tell him to stop, that we've told him NOT to do that to us a million times but he won't listen. THis is where we aren't sure whether he doesn't understand, doesn't remember or is just being a little butt! He has no friends, you might think I am over exaggerating but it's true. He has people he talks to, online and the such but he doesn't have friends he can spend the weekend with. He never has. He doesn't seem to care either, and that's another scary thing. I was told from a third party that my nephew told them that he (my nephew) was talking to a girl online who wanted to kill herself. This third party says he didn't even seem bothered by it. He didn't understand the severity of it, how that person was reaching out for his help. Does he not understand or does he not care? THAT is the scary part because we do not know. He doesn't want to talk about things like that and I am in no position to force him to do so. There is no telling my sister about this though, we've tried and she won't listen. All we can do is try to correct what we can and go from there. Observe and listen, Observe and Listen. Disclaimer : Do not judge what you do not understand. Understand that there are things I may not have shared here that could explain things better. Also, if I wanted advice like "get him help" "get her help" ... Well I don't. I've already explained WHY I can't...