Sometimes I get so frustrated with my family

United States
April 1, 2016 4:51pm CST
I am no fly on the wall so I can not see all the goings on at my sister's house. I love her but sometimes I could just slap her and my brother in law. They have a very laid back approach to parenting, and I am not saying that's wrong... but it's not exactly right either. I have no children, I know you might say "well then you can't put your two cents in." Well I'm not trying to back seat parent, I'm just trying to do what I think is right for my niece and nephew. My niece and nephew both have a tablet and I've just found out that they both have "Online friends." WAIT! Now when I was around my nieces age, and when I was around my nephews age... I had online friends. I mean, heck I still do... However, I was also smart enough to know NOT to give out vital info. Location? USA. Where in the USA? NC. Where in NC? Not telling you that, BYE! That's how I did things when I was their age, I knew NOT to give out too much info and to get away from a person who was asking too many questions. I've told the kids to do this in the past, especially after one particular episode with my niece... I was helping her with something to do with her tablet when I see a comment she has posted on a youtube video. It has her home address! Albeit mis-spelled and with some numbers wrong, but it was close enough.. AND She included the City. I sat down right then and there and told her that was not happening again and why it wasn't going to happen. I told her I don't care how much you change on an address, those really determined can figure it out if they wanted to. I didn't tell the mom. Why? My sister doesn't understand technology, she never really has been interested in it. They (the kids parents) don't know enough about technology to be able to monitor their kids actions online. All I can do is tell them to be careful, and what not to do... Now I have confidence that my niece won't say or do anything stupid. That all she is doing is sharing interests and not vital info. My nephew, I can believe he is also not sharing info like that.. .but his is a whole other case. He needs psychological help. At times I think he is autistic, especially the way he has breakdowns. However, he also says things that are somewhat scary sometimes. Then there are times when he annoys people and they tell him to stop, that we've told him NOT to do that to us a million times but he won't listen. THis is where we aren't sure whether he doesn't understand, doesn't remember or is just being a little butt! He has no friends, you might think I am over exaggerating but it's true. He has people he talks to, online and the such but he doesn't have friends he can spend the weekend with. He never has. He doesn't seem to care either, and that's another scary thing. I was told from a third party that my nephew told them that he (my nephew) was talking to a girl online who wanted to kill herself. This third party says he didn't even seem bothered by it. He didn't understand the severity of it, how that person was reaching out for his help. Does he not understand or does he not care? THAT is the scary part because we do not know. He doesn't want to talk about things like that and I am in no position to force him to do so. There is no telling my sister about this though, we've tried and she won't listen. All we can do is try to correct what we can and go from there. Observe and listen, Observe and Listen. Disclaimer : Do not judge what you do not understand. Understand that there are things I may not have shared here that could explain things better. Also, if I wanted advice like "get him help" "get her help" ... Well I don't. I've already explained WHY I can't...
7 people like this
8 responses
• Ahmedabad, India
1 Apr 16
Bravo for your efforts and concerns!
2 people like this
@epiffanie (11326)
• Australia
2 Apr 16
I do understand your concern.. You care about them that's why you are anxious about how your sister parent them .. I hope your niece listen to your advice .. I hope your nephew can get some help to manage whatever is bothering him .. There's always help around ..
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 16
Oh I hope he does too because I fear for his future. We also need to know what's up so we know how to handle it at home.
@AmbiePam (92811)
• United States
3 Apr 16
Oh man. It's hard to watch people forego common sense and let children be "free spirits". Only it is more serious than that simple name.
• United States
3 Apr 16
Yes. Sometimes children need to be able to make their own mistakes but then there are some things (like intenernet safety) that needs to be watched over. It's aggravating! so very aggravating. Then my nephews emotional problem, I fear so much that it could get worse!
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Apr 16
Totally not okay to share personal information via internet to people you don't even know and at that age too!
• United States
1 Apr 16
She is about to be ten but I am pretty sure this happened when she was eight years old. In my opinion? She should not have had a tablet that young anyway. When I say "tablet" I don't mean these cutesy little only does so much tablets they have for kids. No this was an expensive, everybody and their grandmama can use it tablets. oh but why did she get one? Her brother was getting one. He was around 12-13 at the time. She said (my niece) "It's not fair that he gets one." and wham bam there ya go ma'am! GRRR! Am I old fashioned? Nah I don't think so.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Apr 16
@ScribbledAdNauseum The tablet she should be getting at the age of 8 are those Leap Frog type ones or the kid type ones that has limited Internet access and it's fair because her brother is older by 4-5 years at the time. And when she is his age - she can get one then.
@Lucky15 (37374)
• Philippines
3 Apr 16
You love them...sad that your sister seem to be not listening anything with regards to her kids. I know you.lovento help.
• United States
3 Apr 16
I wish there was more I could do but at the moment it isn't possible.
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (37374)
• Philippines
3 Apr 16
@ScribbledAdNauseum i think, you did your part, you gave her an advice
@Telynor (1763)
• United States
2 Apr 16
My family and I do not speak to each other. It's better that way.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 16
My family and I also didn't speak for awhile. They can be difficult to handle sometimes.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (139742)
• Roseburg, Oregon
1 Apr 16
When my youngest three were in their teens we went into their accounts to make sure they were not doing anything that they should not.
• United States
1 Apr 16
My family never went into my accounts but they did drill into my head what was safe and what wasn't. I still did some things they probably wouldn't have liked but I wasn't stupid enough to give my location! My sister has no knowledge on how to do that and I doubt she knows their (the kids) passwords.
@Missmwngi (12915)
• Nairobi, Kenya
2 Apr 16
If i were in your position i would be feeling the same exact thing. I spend time with my nieces and nephews the older is 8 but we are yet to introduce her to the internet. There is a whole lot to be concerned about there