Life is tough for a new widow
@badpenny (741)
Lancaster, Texas
April 3, 2016 4:50am CST
I met my late husband in 2009 at a homeless shelter. They said we wouldn't last, but we were bonded by God, and he lost his battle with cancer 3/15/2016. I don't sleep much now, and loneliness fills my days. He wanted me to find joy in life. I find it difficult to not feel guilty when I do. I mostly play various games, and veg out on the TV. You get accustomed to being a wife, and somewhere I have lost my identity as a single person. Our friends drifted away during Earl's illness, so I have conversations with friends from online games and on Facebook. Tonight I remembered this place, and I was thrilled to find it still here. Hopefully I can find new friends here.
8 people like this
8 responses
@toniganzon (72533)
• Philippines
3 Apr 16
Hi penny! I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. I'm glad you came back to mylot. I wish that you'll find solace and comfort in your friends here.
2 people like this
@irenen1 (228)
• New Bedford, Massachusetts
3 Apr 16
Hi Penny. Sorry for your loss. I know that emptiness you feel. I lost my Dave the end of January after being together for 22 years. God will guide you when you feel so alone. Try to keep busy. Take care of yourself. It is too easy to slip into full fledged depression. Find activities to celebrate Earl.
1 person likes this
@badpenny (741)
• Lancaster, Texas
3 Apr 16
You're right about that. I still feel lost. I have no one to take care of, and I'm a nurturing person. I know in my heart that God will show me my path from here, but patience with myself has always been hard. I've had breakups in the past, but this is different. We were totally devoted to each other and it just seems so unfair for God to send him to me only to take him away. I know life is supposed to go on, but right now I feel so small and useless. My friends from various games and my mother in law tell me do normal things.
I find myself talking to him. I go out on our deck where we used to sit and talk on pretty days and tell him about my day and whatever plans I am considering. He always made the big decisions. I gave him input, but the final choices were always his, as I was raised that was the way a successful marriage should be. Making my own choices alone is so very strange. I suppose it will take some time and practice, and much patience...
1 person likes this
@Macarrosel (7498)
• Philippines
3 Apr 16
Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your husband. My condolences to you and may he rested in peace. I hope you can fully recovered in time and you can find new friends.
1 person likes this
@William21001 (2637)
• Havre De Grace, Maryland
21 Mar 18
sorry its got to be tuff and people say time makes it easier but it really doesnt my prayers are with you
@rina110383 (24492)
•
3 Apr 16
Please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of your husband. May God rest his soul in peace.
@josie_ (10032)
• Philippines
3 Apr 16
Coping with grief after the loss of a love one is not easy. Try to keep yourself busy or find an activity that will be your outlet for emotional release.Express as much grief as you actually feel. Do not keep it bottled up inside you. Friend and relatives are a big help. The process of healing will take time. My heartfelt condolence for your loss.
