I Nearly Threw My Cup At Him!
By Catherine
@bluesa (15022)
Johannesburg, South Africa
April 7, 2016 7:13am CST
I nearly did! I am not certain how many of you will remember my discussion about the guy that is 15 years younger than me and wanted me to date him? But, well, instead of phoning me this time, he came to see me.
I thought it was to say that he finally understood that being just friends would be good. But, what happened instead? He got mean!
He told me that because I didn't love him, one day I would fall in love with someone, who didn't love me! Have you ever? How mean! How dare he?!
That is tantamount to emotional blackmail! I nearly threw my coffee cup at him! What I tried to do however, was explain something to him.
I tried to explain that when a person can't return someone feelings, it can't be forced! We cannot force ourselves to love someone!
I also told him that if he was fair, he would admit I was honest from the beginning about not having those types of feelings for him. And I did not set out to hurt him!
He just stood up and walked out. I am seriously disgusted by what he said! I would never say something like that to someone! That was really hurtful!
And right now, I feel that if I had been 15 years younger, I probably would've thrown my cup of coffee at him! Should I have thrown my cup of coffee at him? I'm not being oversensitive here, am I?
18 people like this
18 responses
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
7 Apr 16
Throwing the cup of coffee would not have helped the situation. Clearly he needs to do a little more maturing before he is ready for a serious relationship. Friendships can develop into relationships, but it's not a guarantee.
2 people like this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
7 Apr 16
@Morleyhunt , even through the anger of the moment I realised that, which is why I took a deep breath and tried to explain certain facts to him.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
8 Apr 16
No, you did the right thing bu NOT throwing the coffee. Don't let anyone make you do something you know you are not comfortable with. He needs to grow up. I would expect if it had been me that said no, you're too young for me to understand and certainly not show up uninvited and be nasty. If it happens again, call the cops...
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
10 Apr 16
@PainsOnSlate , thank you, I will do that!
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@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
10 Apr 16
@PainsOnSlate , I will not allow him to manipulate me, that is for certain. All he did was put me off even more. I will go to the law if he attempts to contact me again! Though I sincerely hope he will not!
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
10 Apr 16
@bluesa but if he does and makes you uncomfortable call the cops. You are worth that phone call....
1 person likes this
younthrow the cup of coffee...i can not imagine that though
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
9 Apr 16
He obviously is very immature and certainly didn't make himself any more appealing in your eyes did he? Very foolish man and not worth wasting your delicious coffee on!!
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
10 Apr 16
@BelleStarr , yes, he did not! A very foolish young man indeed! Oh definitely my coffee is too delicious to be wasted! :)
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@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
8 Apr 16
I wouldn't be too hard on him Catherine - he can't help loving you any more than you can't help not loving him. He came to see if he could change your mind and was just lashing out because he was hurt.
In my opinion he was probably just trying to make you see things from his point of view, and wasn't meaning to be mean.
I'm glad that you didn't throw the coffee at him.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
10 Apr 16
Janet, I know he is hurt, and so wanted to hurt my feelings, as you say, lashing out. Well, he did upset me, but, proved me right for not dating him. I just hope he can move on now. I'm also glad I did not throw the coffee @jaboUK .
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
10 Apr 16
@JESSY3236 , it was, and I have to say, he definitely better move on now.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
10 Apr 16
the sensible YOU was at work when you calmly talked it over to him. If you were in your young adulthood maybe early or late 20's, the tendency would be you will throw all things that your hand comes in contact with. I am happy you were in your right mind and kept yourself composed.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
10 Apr 16
@ridingbet , you are right, had I been younger I would have thrown him with whatever I could have gotten my hands on. Thank you, I am happy I kept my composure too.
1 person likes this
@HebrewGreekStudies (1646)
• Canada
8 Apr 16
I don't think you overreacted, to be honest that kinda behavior is...creepy:/. Well, that in itself is, but also his calling year after year...the last statement was, well, really horrid and blatent manipulation:/, gosh I'm really really sorry to hear this:(
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
9 Apr 16
@HebrewGreekStudies , yes he was trying to manipulate me. Luckily I am older and a bit wiser and all he did was infuriate me. Thank you, but, after venting here, I am feeling calmer and will shrug his meanness off.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
7 Apr 16
Are you talking about the discussion in which this guy is somehow related to your friend? And the guy has been after a women several years older to him, calling every couple of years to propose or something?
If it is and he is still after you? LOL He needs a psychologist appointment. He sounds controlling and obsessed. That's my view point anyway. But he certainly isn't in love with you as he claims. If he was he wouldn't force you to love him.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
7 Apr 16
@Daljinder , yes, he is related to my friend, and phoned me once a year to ask me to date him, though I said no, because he is much too younger than I am. And I agree, he can't love me as he claimed to if he behaves as he does!
2 people like this
