Im Not Close To My Family

@miniam (9154)
Bern, Switzerland
April 15, 2016 9:44am CST
Since moving away from home those many years ago, I do feel my family cut me out in a way. If l dont call,they will never call me,sometimes 8 months or more go by, l dont hear from them.In the beginning it made me very sad but not any more, i just accept things as they are. Before Emails, sometimes even my letters went unanswered. If and when we meet, they play all nice but i know they dont care about me. I dont get christmas cards or birthday cards which is sad, i send christmas and burthday cards,call every 2 weeks(sometimes more) Only my brother sometimes make an effort but to the rest i may as well not exist, l have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. Are you close to your family?Do they remember your birthdays and holidays?
17 people like this
18 responses
@carebear29 (31963)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
15 Apr 16
I have a couple close family member but other than that, no one talks to me
2 people like this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
Atleast you can say some are close, mine is totally no one
2 people like this
@AnneEJ (4917)
• Dollard-Des-Ormeaux, Quebec
15 Apr 16
Sorry you are not close to your family. I don't live that close to mind, but they do keep in touch.
1 person likes this
@AnneEJ (4917)
• Dollard-Des-Ormeaux, Quebec
16 Apr 16
@miniam You just need to try and keep the lines of communication open and hope the situation changes
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
@AnneEJ I send cards on holidays, I call , I send Christmas cards,send kids presents on their birthdays, i send holiday souvenirs+post card when I go away.I make an effort to be there Christmas if I'm not working. In 24 years since I moved out, no one ever asked to visit me, no one calls, i spent 5 months in hospital, no visit,call or card. I try very hard,they dont and no one tells me what the problem is.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
I dont libe close to mine either but also not soo far, they just chose to ignore me.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47278)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
15 Apr 16
I'm not too close to some of my family. I do talk to my mom a few times a week, but I'm not too close to my dad or my sister. I would like that to change, and I'm trying. Some families are just like that.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47278)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
15 Apr 16
@miniam that's true. Life is complicated like that sometimes. People can be complicated too.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
Sometimes family decide to keep distance and you have no idea why
1 person likes this
@LdeL0318 (6400)
• Philippines
15 Apr 16
I'm sorry to hear about your family relationship status. I am very close to my family. I cannot live without them.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
Lucky you, i wish i were close to my family. I try my best but nothing works
1 person likes this
@LdeL0318 (6400)
• Philippines
16 Apr 16
@miniam They are everything to me. My parents. My older brother and sister are both married but I still love them the same, so as my nephews and niece.
@allknowing (132682)
• India
16 Apr 16
Sad to say. Family is indeed drifting and you are not alone. If I do not call they do not call me. I have stopped calling.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
and we cant force the relationship
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Apr 16
I don't get text or emails from them, unless they need help with something. it's actually good because you missed them a lot makes you realized how hard it is to be alone. when you grow old you realize how important family is. maybe it's just assumption that you think they don't care, ever tried trying to talk to them in person?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Apr 16
@miniam don't stop doing so. you know one day they might missed your visit if anything happens to you.
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
@Letranknight2015 Thanks for encouragement, l cant stop visiting they are all i have
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
I have talked to them on many occasions but they always deny there is a problem.But because I miss them l still visit when i have chance
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
15 Apr 16
The only one that really bothers with me is my one sister. My parents don't keep in touch-I have to call them or I don't hear from them either. When I do call them it seems like I am annoying them more than anything else. It is what it is though. I have accepted it also.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
I understand you so well,mum is always like "oh, i had just gotten my phone out to call you"told her to stop pretending so when i call,we have our little chats, i just never wait or expect a call from her
1 person likes this
@karjatwala (1120)
• Pune, India
16 Apr 16
Going through most of the responses in this discussion, the main reason I feel is the difference in family values here in India and in Europe and the USA.
• Pune, India
16 Apr 16
@miniam Yes, here in India, family ties are very close.
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
You are right, some parts of the world families tend to stay close than others
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
@karjatwala Very good, i miss that
@jaboUK (64355)
• United Kingdom
15 Apr 16
That's very sad and upsetting for you. Yes I am close to all my family, which of course is how it should be.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
In the past, l was trying so hard then i just had to accept that they felt differently, no point of only one side trying so i gave up and accepted how things are.
2 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
15 Apr 16
Actually its too expensive to send cards from Canada to the US. My family is in the US, I connect daily with my sister on line and my brother's family keep in touch on Face Book and by phone. I work hard to make sure we stay connected. They are important to me. I'm sorry you have not been so lucky.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
I tried all I could,bought my mum a computer show her how to send emails, use facebook etc but it just don't work.If I don't make the first step, it`s silence. what worry me is that they do not even tell me what the problem is.
2 people like this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
15 Apr 16
I'm so sorry that's sad. I am close to all my siblings thankfully. We do all have our own lives but we remain close.
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
16 Apr 16
@miniam It's amazing how people we thought we knew change when they become adults.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
@fishtiger58 Over the years i have come to accept they are strangers to me
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
With my siblings, if i did not call next 10 years, im sure i will not hear from them.It`s been like this since i lfet home. always thought we were close when we were growing up but time has proved i was wrong
2 people like this
• Aberdeen, Scotland
15 Apr 16
Sorry to hear that, I'm close to my family
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
Happy for you,family is important.
@rina110383 (24494)
15 Apr 16
No. I live far from my parents and siblings. We only talk twice a month. Yes, we do text or email each other during birthdays. We remember holidays but rarely are we together on holidays or birthdays.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
Lucky you.I do not get any emails or texts
1 person likes this
@lourdjan (165)
16 Apr 16
i close to my family as well..
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
@lourdjan It happens friend,we just have to do the best we can with the situation.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
Lucky you, i miss mine
@lourdjan (165)
16 Apr 16
@miniam but im not lucky to my step mother..
@karjatwala (1120)
• Pune, India
16 Apr 16
Well here in India, most are very well connected with their families, most even staying together. My kids too, luckily are here in the same city as mine, and they do visit me often. I too visit my mom, bro, and sis or we at least we talk once in a while.
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
Most families here are not that close,but they still stay in contact.
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
17 Apr 16
My brothers and I do text each other on our birthdays, are we close? I would so now but we are friendly. We always say Merry Christmas too and Happy Thanksgiving.
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
18 Apr 16
@miniam Same to you.
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
18 Apr 16
That is still closer that what i have,atleast they remember to text.Have a lovely day
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214698)
• Walnut Creek, California
15 Apr 16
I'm fairly close with most who have made it this far. How come you and your family are not close?
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
Honest? i dont know. We had this fight about 22 years ago, me,my mum,brother and sister.After that things changed. But even before the fight, i was the odd one out,l did things differently i guess.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
15 Apr 16
I feel very sad for you. Did you ever ask them why? I am extremely close to my family, as it should be.
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
15 Apr 16
I have asked but the answer is always,"there is no problem,you are imagining it." It`s hard come Christmas time, I'm never invited,if i have time, I do go, if i have to work then im here, no christmas card or call from mum,sisters or brothers
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
15 Apr 16
@miniam That stinks! Something is not right with them, not you!
2 people like this