Have You Heard of the Buddy Bench?
@Ruby3881 (1963)
Canada
April 17, 2016 7:24pm CST
I just read a really cool story about how some schools are addressing bullying and helping all kids to feel included. The school installs a special seat called the "Buddy Bench" and invites students to sit there if they are feeling bullied or left out.
Both teachers and students are taught to keep an eye on the Buddy Bench, and to go talk to anyone who is sitting there. Often, this helps a young person break the silence and begin talking about whatever is bothering them. It gives kids a healthier alternative to remaining silent, and suppressing the bad feelings they're experiencing. It may even help to spark a friendship between two children who hadn't previously spent time together!
Were you ever bullied as a kid? Do you think something like this would have helped you?
[Image: terimakasih0/Pixabay/CC0]
12 people like this
14 responses
@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
21 Apr 16
Shy is a great word to describe children who are bullied or left out. And often, I think other kids simply don't realize they want to be included, but just don't know how to take the initiative. I think the Buddy Bench could make it much easier for all the students to work these situations out together.
1 person likes this
@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
19 Apr 16
I was bullied when I was in my last couple of years in elementary school. It was all social - rumours, nasty comments, being excluded, etc. The teachers must have known, but they did nothing. In fact, the principal (who was later transferred out of the school) even got in on it...
I wonder if a visible sign like sitting on a Buddy Bench might have called one of the staff into action?
@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
21 Apr 16
@SIMPLYD I wonder if it might also afford the bullies an opportunity to realize they've hurt someone. Or even perhaps to seek out a more positive form of attention for themselves. In my experience, there are a lot of kids who seem to go back and forth between being bullied and being the bully...
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@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
21 Apr 16
My youngest goes to a small independent school on the local First Nations reserve. There are, I think, about 40 students in the school this year. And there are at least a dozen teachers, aides, and administrative staff who spend time with the children. Believe it or not, there is still bullying in that school!
1 person likes this
@rina110383 (24492)
•
18 Apr 16
I was never bullied when I was a kid. This is my first time to read about buddy bench. I believe we don't have them here in my country.
I like the purpose(s) of the buddy bench and if adopted by schools here in my place, I'm confident bullying will be lessened.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
18 Apr 16
The buddy bench would have been a big help but at the same time, it would make children who sit there be targeted by bullies even more.
Got bullied when I was younger as I studied at a real young age. This would have helped me as I would have used it to hit those that bullied me. 
1 person likes this
@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
21 Apr 16
I think it's intended more as a way for students to point towards an occasional issue - feeling left out, a tiff with a neighbour. In those cases, it's usually not the same kid twice. So there is no stigma, and no reason any given child would be targeted especially for sitting on the bench.
1 person likes this
@cherigucchi (14876)
• Philippines
18 Apr 16
This is the first time I heard of it and I think its a good strategy.
1 person likes this
@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
18 Apr 16
It's certainly very positive! And I think it might just help to bring attention to a problem that would otherwise go unnoticed by school staff. I'm told two of our local elementary schools already have Buddy Benches. Now we need to get them into the schools where bullying is an ongoing problem!
@carebear29 (31970)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
18 Apr 16
Yes I have. I seen it on the news once. I think they should have them everywhere too
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
18 Apr 16
I have heard a bit about it, but hadn't heard anything about students also being able to help other students. I am not so sure how that would work.
I think that the child sitting on the bench (needing help) wouldn't want to open up to other students. Especially since most of the students going to be offering the help would be the "popular" kids and they are most often the bullies.
Anyway, I think the idea itself is a good one, and hope it does spread to all schools and becomes a positive thing to help those who really need it.
Do you think it would really end bullying for good?
@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
21 Apr 16
I don't think we can ever end all bullying. But I have seen positive results when children were taught to be accepting and kind.
I'm willing to bet that kids more often sit on the benches when they feel left out, so there's no need to open up really. Other kids can simply come ask them to join in their activities. Being excluded is far more common in the schoolyard than name-calling, uttering threats, or physically harming another child. It's very subtle, and much harder for teachers to both spot and address once they see it.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
18 Apr 16
'tis a great idea, but aint sure how'd such'd be used 'round these parts. they've purty much done 'way with recess...'n wonder why there's so much disruption'n classes, a lowerin' with test scores 'n weight issues...
i was bullied all through school. nobody cared, 'twas told to turn the other cheek. which i did 'til i was a junior'n high school. got'n a fist fight 'n these days i'd been'n jail. nobody bothered me 'fter that though'n i wondered why i didn't pulverize this certain individual years prior. would'a saved myself 'n others from their terror.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
21 Apr 16
@Ruby3881 i was horrified to find out one'f my grandsons'n elementary school only's 15 minutes fer lunch! heck, those young'uns aint e'en got time to chew their food :( no wonder so many're havin' diff'culties 'n obesity 's'n the rise. yes ma'am, more active, 'n better health 'n not so wired so we could settle down'n learn'us somethin'.
@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
21 Apr 16
I know a lot of folks who tell similar stories...
Yes, it's a sad thing that the school day has so few breaks now. We used to get 30 minutes of recess each day, plus a very long lunch. In late spring I used to have time at lunch to go for a dip in the pool, eat, change, and walk back on time. We were all much more active then!
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
19 Apr 16
WHile I wasn't bullied, I was quite shy back then. I don't know that i'd go talk to anyone on that bench if I saw them, nor would I consider singling myself out to sit there if I did feel bullied or alone. But, I hope it works for kids today, and helps to turn things around.
1 person likes this
@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
21 Apr 16
I think in our day it would have been quite different - nobody would want to stand out, as you say.
But kids today are taught a lot more about helping their peers and not being the bystander who watches the bullying without saying something. They're much more liable to be proactive in a situation like this, and not to fear being singled out.
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (20039)
• United States
21 Apr 16
I was bullied when I was a kid. I think that would have help me alot. Although when I met my best-friend, she did help alot too.
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@Ruby3881 (1963)
• Canada
21 Apr 16
Sometimes all it takes is one friend, to break the bullying cycle. I'm glad your friend helped you 
@KateSander (21)
•
18 Apr 16
I've heard of it before but not sure how many schools have one. I was bullied so yes it may have helped me.
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@KateSander (21)
•
21 Apr 16
@Ruby3881 Yeah I thought that might be the case but I reckon they'll have more schools with them soon enough.
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