Is It Right To Raise Your Voice To Get Across A Point
By Jeff Unruh
@mypointsju (583)
Westland, Michigan
April 22, 2016 8:24am CST
First, I am not talking about in a work environment and I am talking about in personal life.
I am a very calm person. I do not raise my voice that often (maybe every 4 years). Some of you may have read another post about how my sister-inlaw is not appreciative with either gifts or help from my wife and I.
For the last 4 Months my sister-inlaw has been texting, emailing my wife about how the world and the economy is going to crash or end. She also feels another country will be invading us on our streets and how the government is hiding everything.
We have said nicely that if she believes in that, than that is fine (as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else), but we do not believe in it and please stop sending us emails or talk about that subject with us. It took us about 10 emails, 5 texts and 2 calls and the emails and text stopped about the subject until last week. My wife responded once again that we do not believe in it and please stop sending the emails.
As a husband I saw the stress it was creating for my wife, so over the weekend I told my wife that I would call her and first try to be nice, but if that was not working, I was going to make her cry.
End result I called her and tried to be nice, but she kept on going down the path of this is what is going to happen and that she is only doing it because she cares about us. After 20 minutes of asking her nicely to stop the emails, I blew up and started to yell her. Then she cried and than it started to sink into her.
It has only been 5 days since that call, but so far so good (no new emails about the end of the world, etc.).
So is it OK to raise your voice to make a point?
6 people like this
7 responses
@Curlybobby (370)
•
22 Apr 16
Certainly yes! It's more than just okay.. It depends on the person you're dealing with and the nature of the problem. But being a little Stern and raising your voice a little can work quite effectively.
1 person likes this
@mypointsju (583)
• Westland, Michigan
22 Apr 16
I think you got it right. See being stern is what I should of done before I raised my voice, but I went to the raise my voice and stern approach. Yes it worked, but now I think of it, after I tried to explain in a calm manner and that did not work, I should have did the stern approach than the raise the voice and stern approach.
1 person likes this
@mypointsju (583)
• Westland, Michigan
22 Apr 16
We don't actually care if she believes whatever, but once I tell a person, "hey thanks for the information, but Lisa and I do not believe that it will happen, so could you stop sending the emails", I expect they would, but not her.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (83103)
• United States
22 Apr 16
I have the same problem with my mother who is on the same bandwagon as your sister in law. I can't take much more and my mom lives with me. Asking nicely doesn't work and I'm afraid that one day I'm just going to blow up.
@JudyEv (342145)
• Rockingham, Australia
23 Apr 16
I'd say in this case it was a very good idea! Some people just can't take no for an answer.
@amitextramoney (59)
•
22 Apr 16
If people perceive you are shouting, they will perceive that you are out of control.
Arguments are not always won by being 'right' (actually most arguments aren't about that at all) - they are about who can get their point of view accepted.
Next time you are in argument - try a different technique. Be calm - not matter how infuriating you find the opposing view/behaviour. Then state your case in an even, steady voice and keep repeating it. Then ask your adversary if they understand/accept your view.
