My babys father left us and I dont know what to do
By Fanny Pineda
@mylovelenix (66)
Cancun, Mexico
April 24, 2016 11:10am CST
I mean I know I can work but its been kind of difficult to find a job especially having my baby with me and I keep asking to borrow money that is only bringing me in dept. I don't have money left but I owe so much already I feel like I'm drowning. My rent is almost due and I don't have money to pay it. I didn't work because he wouldn't allow it and now I don't even have a cent saved. My neighbor was nice enough to let me borrow her laptop to try and earn some money online meanwhile I find a job but the process is too slow. I'm stuck, can someone give me advice. I came to this site to earn money, I know it will be slow earning but I'm relieving so much stress. Please help me out.
17 people like this
18 responses
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
24 Apr 16
Going to Church and social services would be best. Then start trying for actual work. I hope all gets better for you. Baby sitting, house sitting. Can you do that?
5 people like this
@vandana7 (100193)
• India
25 Apr 16
@mylovelenix I need to know how much is the total amount you need for the baby. Based on that I could suggest options. Please give me some idea about your cost of living and may be other things like family environment, legal system, and government support.
5 people like this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
25 Apr 16
@vandana7 I buy diapers for my baby every week so that's about 120 pesos weekly and her formula 200 but this is monthly. I spend about 50 pesos daily on food for us. Toiletries are about 300-400 pesos a month. The rest for rent and bills 1500 for rents and 1000 for bills in pesos. I don't know much about government support here i still have that to figure out because they haven't been helpful at all till now. Thank you for your time.
1 person likes this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
24 Apr 16
Thank you. I haven't found anyone that needs a babysitter but i will keep on searching.
6 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
24 Apr 16
I'm sorry about the situation you find yourself in, but I'm afraid that you won't earn much here.
However I realise that every little helps, so read and comment on lots of other people's posts, and that will get you known. Then when they reply or respond to your own posts (as I'm doing now) you will earn.
Have you no Social Services that you can go to for help? Good luck.
4 people like this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
24 Apr 16
Hope I find one soon because this rent is due by the end of the month. Haven't found any helpful services.
3 people like this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
24 Apr 16
And thank you so much for your support.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
24 Apr 16
Wow! What practical advise can I give you? What would I do if I was in your shoes?
* Pray
* Read the Bible for comfort
* Contact the government and ask for help
* Some churches and religious organizations help out people in your situation
* Welfare services
* Your family, his family
Keep a positive attitude and don't give up hope!
3 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
26 Apr 16
@mylovelenix I see may helpful suggestions in the comments and hope that you will get the help you need.
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
25 Apr 16
This is a hard situation but with prayer and faith there is a solution. The catholic church is a good place to start, they can help you find help. If you are not catholic then try what ever church you belong to.
2 people like this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
25 Apr 16
Thank you.Yes, my baby keeps me sane and I've been praying and of all the support here makes is it even better.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100193)
• India
25 Apr 16
My heart bleeds for those who are left in such a situation. That is why I feel every woman should be independent, capable of earning her two square meals, and pay for her rent and utilities and levery even if she can't have enough to save for retirement.
Coming to your situation...there are many missing factors here. Obviously, nobody can help you with the required amount. You can cut down on some, borrow some, get some charity, get some government allowance, and earn some. Prepare a budget for your requirements. Do not forget you would need transportation charges. And stressing yourself over financial worries is not going to help you, your baby or your family. Financial problems can be overcome, health problems are difficult to overcome. So remember that.
1. Cut down on rent and utilities by going to family, yours or his. Can you do this? Family can be a great support in such times. They take care of the child, while you are trying to earn, and they also give you a place to stay, accommodate you sort of. Remember, you would need Internet connection. If that is not possible, look to organizations such as YWCA.
2. Borrow the laptop for longer time from the neighbor, duly giving her your parent's address. Or suggest you will pay a nominal amount at the end of a longer time frame..preferably payable when able.
3. Go to churches and charities. They can give immediate relief for babies and guide you towards any medical facilities where any medical treatment for children, if needed, will be free. They can also help in beating down school fees if any. They might also give you references to various jobs.
4. Use laptop to earn for your upkeep and any deficit that remains for the baby apart from looking for whole time job. One thing I have learned from my experience. Financial problems are situations that allow others to exploit. Try not to take up anything below your potential. Once you agree to lower pay, the tag remains for lifetime. So when you quote expected emoluments in your bio-data, make sure you quote reasonable amount so that even if it is beaten down to some extent, you are still in financially safe territory. Do not, I repeat, do not let your prospective employers or others know why you are looking for the job. Even colleagues. It helps to get reasonable increments.
5. Try some of the online sites to earn. If you are confident of your English you might want to earn from sites such as iwriter, freelancer, odesk, blogjob. Blogging is an alternative. You might want to do that. Read online how to go about it. In a span of three to five years you can earn some supplemental income from it.
6. Try to get help from government and seek help from church how to get some child support for the child from the father of the child. Churches often help in such matters.
2 people like this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
25 Apr 16
This is such an amazing list I will always keep with me, very helpful and well planned. You're right I must learn to be independent and I am learning a lot. I can't get help from family right now but when I do have contact with them I know they will for sure help. Thank you
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
26 Apr 16
@mylovelenix I hope he can still be found .
1 person likes this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
25 Apr 16
There is and I still have to find him. He is nowhere to be found. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@carebear29 (31962)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
25 Apr 16
Wow, I'm very sorry to hear that. I have been single on and off my marriage and I have no income so I know how you feel. Prayers
2 people like this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
25 Apr 16
Thank you. We can do it we are strong.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137256)
• United States
25 Apr 16
First, you should apply for whatever type of assistance you can get... I don't know much about assistance programs in Mexico, but I do know there are some that are similar to the ones in the U.S.
You should also file for child support against the father of your child. (You might qualify for emergency aid to help you pay your rent, as well.)
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137256)
• United States
25 Apr 16
@mylovelenix You're welcome!
Good! I hope things do work out for you and your baby!
Don't forget that you could apply for child support, too.
1 person likes this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
25 Apr 16
Yes, thank you I'm finally working on applying for such assistance in hopes that they will help this time.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
26 Apr 16
Wow sorry to hear about your situation. I have read others comments and feel I have very little to offer in terms of advices. I think everyone else seemed to have covered the most immediate options.
I hope your situation improves and you're able to find support either from family, government, or church/community soon.
1 person likes this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
27 Apr 16
Thank you. I have found some help and very good helpful friends.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83385)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
25 Apr 16
I pity you and your baby. if only we're neighbors, you can surely have my help.Just pray so hard talk to God to guide you the right solution of your problem.Better tell your parents and your in laws.Also, approach your public lawyer for financial support of your baby's father. Sue him in court.
2 people like this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
25 Apr 16
Yes for sure praying helps immensely. I do anything in my power to find him and get financial support by him. Thank you.
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
25 Apr 16
Yes that's what I need and I'm on the works for that. I have found a mini online job that is of good help. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
26 Apr 16
I would definitely go to social services and see what they can offer you. I would do it today.
1 person likes this
@YuleimaVzla (1505)
• Maracaibo, Venezuela
16 Aug 19
Hi friend, I know this was a long time ago, but how is it going with the Mexican government? Is there an answer for single mothers? Any economic plan that helps them? I am Venezuelan and I am also a single mother of two children, one of 4 years and another of 3 months, I work online in whatever comes out, on the internet there are many jobs as in Spare5 and Figure...
@MooreLoven13 (14)
• United States
24 Apr 16
I'm not sure which state you are in but I know in my state there is government assistance you can receive. SNAP(foodstamps), TEA which is like money they give you and put you in the process of getting a job then once you get a job over months you pay them back, child care and child care assistance, child support, HUD/Section 8, and things that help with paying bills such as electric and gas and water. Call churches and food pantries and see if they can help with anything or possible would with diapers and toileries until you can get on your feet. It's going to be tough but you can do it, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
1 person likes this
@mylovelenix (66)
• Cancun, Mexico
25 Apr 16
Lost contact with them but I'm sure I will find them on social media. Thank you.