ADD/ADHD, Autism, Blah Blah, Blah. Let's Call It What It Is......... BAD PARENTING!

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Ahhhhhh. There I said it. I cannot believe how many people are blaming the children. "Oh, it's ok they have ADHD." No, No it is not ok that your 7 year old autistic child just hit my 3 year old in the face with a toy, because he was in his path. By the parents allowing this behavior and not making a point to correct their child and TEACH them how to handle these social situations early in life, they are allowing them to behave however they choose! THIS IS NOT OK! People are enabling their children to act this way by using their syndromes as an excuse for regular childhood behavior and not correcting them when they are wrong. Children are not stupid and they know just how far they can go and with whom. I have worked in early childhood education for 20 years and I have seen it unravel before my very eyes! I have worked with children who are "autistic" and while their parents were present they lacked communication skills and were very uncooperative. Once the parents were out the door, they became totally different children! Making eye contact, using actual words and functioning like a normal child. As long as parents keep treating them like they are different, they will continue to act different. When they are actually taught the rules and communication skills, THEY WILL USE THEM. So how is this bad parenting you ask????? Well when your child is 5 years old and cannot ask you for a drink without throwing them self on the floor first, THAT is because you as the parent have not taken the time to teach your child that all they need to do is ask for the drink and they will get it. My son tried this behavior when he was two years old, and i would wait all day for him to actually ask for what he wanted. He eventually learned that he would get nothing out of me by yelling or being rude and impatient. This did not happen overnight, but it happened because I was consistent. I taught my son young to be respectful, and it makes a difference. But parents are lazy and don't understand how naturally stubborn children really are. Many of these syndromes start showing shortly after a new baby is born into the family. Caused by lack of attention and natural jealousy. This is a normal thing for kids. It is up to YOU as the parent to make sure they feel heard and included. Lack Of Verbal Skills: There is another factor in this behaviour, it is having an older sibling. Older siblings love to be the big helper and they love nothing more then following their little brother and sister around helping them every chance they get. They will ask for drinks, treats, snacks and anything else on behave of the little one. When they do this they are not allowing the little one to develop their verbal skills because they are being cut off at the pass. When they know what it is the little one wants, it's their eagerness to please and of course we can all appreciate that. But some times we need to make a point to allow the little one to use their own words to ask for what they want! Lack Of Listening Skills: This battle with any child is always a battle of wills. You as the parent must always stand strong, NEVER back down. The moment they win, it's all over for you. That my friends is a fact. When my two years old refused to do something, I MADE him do it. He might have screamed and cried through it once in a while but he did do what he was told. Even if that meant me helping him do it. If he didn't want to clean up his toys, I would take him by the hand and lead him over to the toy box hand him the toy and get him to put it in the box. If he refused then I would place the toy in his hand, wrap my hand around his and help him put it in the toy box. I did it for every toy if I had to, while he was loosing his mind. Eventually when it was time to clean up the toys all I had to do was ask. Sure I could've taken the tantrum as a symptom of ADHD but come on, let's be realistic. Two year olds throw tantrums, until they can communicate in words how they are feeling. That is why it is up to you as the parent to teach them those verbal skills early. To avoid the tantrums continuing for the next 10 years. You must Nip It In The Bud. Give them consequences for their negative behavior don't reward them by giving in, to keep the peace. The longer parents allow their children to behave so poorly, the harder it will be to reverse it in five years.