Are these MyLotters using me?
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
Perth, Australia
April 27, 2016 6:22pm CST
Whether it's wrong or right, we are all here for a reason. Personally, I did come here to make some extra cash. Never intended on making friends because I didn't think anyone would want to be my friend. But after some time, I did meet people who I'm happy to say are my online friends. 
But just because I enjoy talking on here, doesn't mean I've forgotten why I originally came here. MyLot wont make us rich but every dollar counts to help me with various things.
I've had people private message me asking me to answer their discussions because they noticed I always answer everyone back and would like me to do the same for them because they are needing money. So because I am in the same boat as them, and felt bad for them, I decided to help out.
But what I have noticed is that I get messages from those MyLotters saying they will return the favour to help me out. I thought it was nice for them to offer to do that because I've never asked them to help. They offered on their own. I said I am very grateful for them to take the time to read / answer what I post but thing is, they have never answered anything I've said. No answers, no comments, no responses. Nothing.
Of course we don't have to answer anything we don't want to but when someone has offered to helped after being help, I can't help but feel a bit used.
In no shape or form have they helped me. Which again, they don't have to but when someone offers to help but then never does, and still messages me to help them out, it makes me wonder if their offers were ever real or were to just keep me hanging on until I have had enough helping them. Which is now.
But just because I enjoy talking on here, doesn't mean I've forgotten why I originally came here. MyLot wont make us rich but every dollar counts to help me with various things.
I've had people private message me asking me to answer their discussions because they noticed I always answer everyone back and would like me to do the same for them because they are needing money. So because I am in the same boat as them, and felt bad for them, I decided to help out.
But what I have noticed is that I get messages from those MyLotters saying they will return the favour to help me out. I thought it was nice for them to offer to do that because I've never asked them to help. They offered on their own. I said I am very grateful for them to take the time to read / answer what I post but thing is, they have never answered anything I've said. No answers, no comments, no responses. Nothing.
Of course we don't have to answer anything we don't want to but when someone has offered to helped after being help, I can't help but feel a bit used.
In no shape or form have they helped me. Which again, they don't have to but when someone offers to help but then never does, and still messages me to help them out, it makes me wonder if their offers were ever real or were to just keep me hanging on until I have had enough helping them. Which is now.45 people like this
56 responses
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 16
@VivaLaDani13 yes I fialy got tireed of ilts being all o ne way
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
28 Apr 16
@Hatley I don't like that people have been doing it to you but I am a bit glad to know I am not the only one!
Good on you for not dealing with their crap!
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
28 Apr 16
@Lolaze I agree with you completely. I will be doing that from now on. Hope no one does it to you!
2 people like this
@Lolaze (5093)
• St. Louis, Missouri
28 Apr 16
@VivaLaDani13 If they try it on me, they will get growled at and no comments on their post from me
3 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
28 Apr 16
If someone is your friend, s/he will never ask you to revert back or return the favor. That is how things have been with me. Until now, none has asked me to respond to his/her discussion and I know some of my dear friends are in real need of these monies here. Still no one asked me.
And as far as my asking them goes, no. I will never ask anyone to come up and respond. Agreed, when we had that "suggest" feature available for our own discussions, I did use it once because it was a discussion about the senior-most MyLotters Special Day.
4 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
28 Apr 16
@Daljinder Yes It messed up mine, today, for sure.
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
28 Apr 16
True that Sid. I always say money ruins relationships.
3 people like this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
28 Apr 16
I agree. Not the original intent of mylot.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
28 Apr 16
Complete opposite happened with us @VivaLaDani13 You offered. I point blank refused. I told you before Dovey. Money ruins relationships. Any kind of relationship. Even if as an acquaintance or fellow lotter.3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
28 Apr 16
HAHA Yeah I know. Only difference is that I actually would if you needed me to.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
28 Apr 16
@Daljinder lol well that's sweet. But I mean if you asked for help then I would do whatever I could. I can't help if you don't ask for it lol I wouldn't know if you did unless you tell me.
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
28 Apr 16
@VivaLaDani13 Ha! Keep dreaming. I am someone who helps other with no expectations. Trying to help ME would be like pulling teeth for you.
Honestly how would you help when I wouldn't volunteer any info if I need help or not? lol Or even in what way I need help? I am a private person. I don't divulge THAT information. Honest!
Nevertheless your asking and even offering is and will always be more than enough.
Honestly how would you help when I wouldn't volunteer any info if I need help or not? lol Or even in what way I need help? I am a private person. I don't divulge THAT information. Honest!
Nevertheless your asking and even offering is and will always be more than enough. 3 people like this
@polyxena (2628)
• Sturgis, Michigan
28 Apr 16
That sounds exactly like someone's using you. It'd bother me to no end. I'm not sure what I'd do if I received a message like that my self, because I'd be nice and respond and/or like someone's post, but would be so upset that they didn't in return.
I know it's not all about the money for me, but at the same time, the lack of tossing the writing ball back. Doesn't sound remotely right.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@polyxena Not it isn't right at all. I don't want to be mean but if anyone else does message me with something like that again, I am going to politely decline.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@Yh1001 I have no serious need to block them at the moment. I will just delete any type of messages like that if I keep on getting them but if they start hounding me constantly then I will take it to the next level.
And nope, not a nice feeling at all to be used. 
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
28 Apr 16
@marlina Yeah my thoughts exactly. How crappy.
1 person likes this
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
28 Apr 16
No one pms me and asks that. Probably because they already know I won't check out their posts. I only go to the ones that interest me. The favor system and the 'scratch my back and I'll scratch yours' wore thin on me.
Although if you want to be a writing buddy of sorts and talk about things through pms, I wouldn't mind those kinds of friends here. I don't have any like that to be honest! :P
2 people like this
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
29 Apr 16
@VivaLaDani13 Well I decided it was a good idea so I didn't wait and just launched into it!
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@OneOfMany Yeah it's something I am not going to be tolerating anymore. I am here for my reasons. Not to be someone's slave. If it was a friend on here who needed help then that's a different story.
Well you and I just started sending pms. So...I can be your first! 
2 people like this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
28 Apr 16
When I get PM's like this I delete them and refuse to help out. I don't care how much they beg or promise I know it won't happen. Furthermore, I like to pick and chose the posts I read and comment on. I don't like to comment on a post that doesn't interest me.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@poehere Well that's right. We are all here for different reasons but none of us should have to answer discussions that we really don't want to.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (339930)
• Rockingham, Australia
28 Apr 16
I haven't had any PMs like that but I don't really think I would take any notice of them if I did. I don't like that they're asking for starters and unless they can build a bit of a following my few comments aren't going to make them much money. And if they're asking you to do that, the least they can do is return the favour. Just sayin...
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@JudyEv I agree. I always like to help people but when I feel that I am being used then I don't want to do it anymore. I don't mean that I would expect them to return the favour but when it's promise after promise and nothing has happened to help me out then I can not be bothered trying to help out anymore.
2 people like this
@chance216 (280)
• United States
28 Apr 16
No that's not right, the attitude these people have will get them nowhere fast. A lot of fake people both online and off in different ways-
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@chance216 Any type of fake people are the ones I am really getting sick of.
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
28 Apr 16
Its contagious. Now mylot is getting infected too. 
2 people like this
@Lucky15 (37374)
• Philippines
28 Apr 16
@Daljinder hope not and i think it is against the rule
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
28 Apr 16
@Lucky15 Same here! Though I think it's not mentioned in the rules or guidelines exactly. I don't know. Admin needs to clarify that.
2 people like this
@gochunehal (782)
•
28 Apr 16
Yes it is very wrong of them...it is just against the rules and if they continue to say like this just ignore them or report to the mylot
3 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
5 May 16
I like getting comments on my posts and the more the merrier but I would never PM someone and specifically ask them to comment on my post. I might, although I haven't yet PM someone if I had written a discussion on a topic I knew they were passionate about and it had been up for awhile but they hadn't seen it. But these would by definition be someone I knew well enough to know what they were passionate about, and those people are pretty quick to jump on those discussions anyway.
I think, in your case, if it was happening to me, I would have to keep a list of those people and never comment on their posts again. Maybe I'm just being mean but if you are going to promice to reciprocate you should keep your word.
Maybe they are waiting for you to tell them which discussions to comment on? 
2 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
6 May 16
@VivaLaDani13 I'm glad you don't think my solution was mean. Sometimes I wonder about myself. For the most part I try to do to others what I want them to do to me but sometimes I get overwhelmed and want to do to others before they can do it to me. We do have to protect ourselves from being others doormats though. I just have to keep my own responses to what others do in perspective.
We do have to protect ourselves from being others doormats though. I just have to keep my own responses to what others do in perspective.2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
7 May 16
@savak03 I know exactly what you mean! I've been treated like a doormat for a huge part of my life and still learning on how to prevent that from happening. Like people taking advantage of me etc.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
6 May 16
@savak03 I don't think that's mean to be honest. Maybe to them but they have been using me this whole time so that's mean anyway.
haha that would be a nice thought. Thinking that there was a little misunderstanding but they said "I will comment on your posts." or even "on your recent posts." So they were aware of what I was posting but they still didn't want to help out.
2 people like this
@maezee (41988)
• United States
29 Apr 16
@VivaLaDani13 Is it just one person or several doing this?
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@maezee Through out my whole time being here I will say about 5. But now just 1. But I was thinking about how even after all this time, none have helped me out.
Not standing for it anymore! 
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@maezee haha yeah I get told that a lot by some people that I have a lot of patience for various things. But when I've had enough, then that's it. I can't keep doing something like this though. I don't mind helping people but when I feel I am being used and taken for granted, then I really don't like it.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
28 Apr 16
i'm surprised and bothered that it's going on here. it sounds like the same tactic people used at bubblews. they connect with numerous members, then bait them by leaving messages on profiles instead of the actual post so they can gain views, likes and comments on their own posts. it's sneaky and selfish. i would report and block them.
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
29 Apr 16
@VivaLaDani13 so what do you plan to do about those members? have you blocked them or reported them?
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@hereandthere I am not sure about bubblews cause I have never been to that site before. I've seen so many people on here talk about it but have never seen it for myself. Is it a similar site like MyLot?
Either way, MyLot, bubblews and anything like it, should be about enjoying ourselves and not wasting our time doing things we don't want to nor trying to be anyone's minion.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@hereandthere I haven't done anything at the moment. No contact has been made right now. All I am doing from my end is doing what I like. If they come back to me asking for more help, I will say no. If they bother me more then I shall block and report.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@trivia79 Desperate is another great word for these people!
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@trivia79 Not from the original people who kept on bothering me but a couple of hours ago someone asked me to suggest his discussions lol Even though he read this post of mine saying I don't want to help with this sort of thing anymore. 
2 people like this
@trivia79 (7828)
• El Segundo, California
29 Apr 16
@VivaLaDani13 are you still experiencing this?
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@theBlock Thank you very much Timothy!
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
29 Apr 16
@theBlock haha you can call me Dani if you like. :)
2 people like this
@theBlock (2657)
• United States
29 Apr 16
@VivaLaDani13 You are very welcome, Viva ... La ...
2 people like this
