For The Sake Of Our Weather, Don't Move A Muscle Donald!

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I'm afraid that today I'm reverting to type and discussing the favourite subject of the good old British public. No, I don't mean social awkwardness in a polite queueing situation, I mean, of course, the enigma that is the British weather. For a few weeks the temperature has been steadily climbing as we meander through the early stages of spring. So much so that it encouraged us to give Hugo the dog a severe haircut in preparation for the warmer weather. Big mistake! The poor little fella has spent the last few mornings conducting his morning constitutional wrapped in his winter jacket in sub-zero temperatures while snow flutters gently from the sky and he pees icicles!! So what's responsible for this sudden reverse? The swivel-eyed loon (probably deserving of a separate discussion!), who is an habitual denizen of my health club sauna, will no doubt have it down as a Zionist plot. Get the temperature up, encourage us to pack away our winter wardrobes and then BAM! Hit us with snow and all we'll have in our wardrobes are Hawaiian shirts, lightweight casual slacks and the odd canvas deck shoe. Immediate breakdown of society!! However, as with most conspiracy theories, the truth is far simpler. You should all know of the butterfly effect. That's what this is! At least a variation on it. Every time Donald Trump moves his head he causes that ridiculous wispy shredded wheat thing on his head to sway in the breeze. This triggers a chain of events that ultimately leads to crap weather in Manchester, UK! Simple. Actually, if the sauna-dwelling swivel-eyed loon reads this it probably makes his Zionist plot theory look plausible!!!