Marriage
@melissa1024 (2456)
Beckley, West Virginia
May 2, 2016 10:52pm CST
It seems as if society in today's world takes marriage too lightly for the most part. I am in my mid thirties and most of my classmates from school have been married two or three times. When they see me ask about my marriage they can't believe it is my only one and that I have been married for sixteen years. Most of the people say how do you stay married to the same person that long? Easy, you marry for love, take the good with the bad, and settle your disagreements. Am I the only one who feels like this anymore?
10 people like this
13 responses
@Genipher (5405)
• United States
3 May 16
You are not alone. I'm on the same page as you.
My husband and I have been married almost 13 years now. First marriage for both of us. Even more rare, we were both virgins when we married!
From the get-go we determined that the word "divorce" would never into our discussions or arguments.
I think people forget that love is more than a feeling...it's a commitment.
5 people like this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
3 May 16
@Genipher we determined the same thing about "divorce". People do forget about the commitment part. Both people also got to give 100% to the relationship and most forget that also. I can proudly say my hubby is my best friend and we are in this for the long haul.
3 people like this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
3 May 16
@slayer08 That's it couldn't have said it better myself.
3 people like this
@Frischy (119)
•
3 May 16
Congratulations on your long marriage and commitment! I think a lot of things have to come together for that to happen. It's great when it does, but people don't always get divorced for frivolous reasons. Sometimes there is a very good reason for separating, like when safety is involved.
3 people like this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
3 May 16
@frischy I agree but some people abuse it. Such as marrying someone they've known for only a little while then divorce because they're not compatable or when things get rough just leave and not even try to fight for the marriage.
1 person likes this
@annierose (21588)
• Philippines
8 May 16
Your friends seem to be not very serious when it comes to marriage. I believe that it is such a very sacred thing. I do not want to see myself marrying from one person to another. If I will marry,it will be once only and only to the one man that I loved so much.
1 person likes this
@annierose (21588)
• Philippines
8 May 16
@melissa1024 I have many online friends from there who is divorce. It is just sad that because divorce is legal, married couples easily go on that.. There are some who do that with valid reasons why others just do that because of their infidelity. I hope you will have long lasting marriage. You will be good examples to your kids.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
8 May 16
@annierose Yes some do have good reasons but others have the dumbest reasons I have ever heard for divorcing. Not to mention divorces are easily obtainable here. As for my marriage, I have married the man I love, he is very good to me. We have been happy together for a long time and through the years we have learnt to work out our differences.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
8 May 16
@annierose That is exactly how I feel. I am married. Just once have been for 16 years and divorce is not part of our vocabulary. We both agreed it would never be an option. When we married it was for life. It is not only a lot of my friends whom doesn't take it serious it is a lot of society in general at least here in the U.S.
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14351)
• West Haven, Connecticut
3 May 16
I married my high school sweet heart and we have 10 years together, I highly doubt I can ever re marry if my wife and I were to split up ect
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14351)
• West Haven, Connecticut
16 Jun 16
@Hatley Thanks Patsie! I live for my children, they complete me!
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
3 May 16
@BACONSTRIPSXXX That's wonderful. So glad to hear this.
1 person likes this
@rina110383 (24492)
•
3 May 16
I'm single. Those wise words of yours are something I'll take note of once I get married.
2 people like this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
3 May 16
@rina110383 I hope one day you do get married. Please be sure you want to be with that person the rest of your life and you both can be happy with that.
1 person likes this
@slayer08 (2377)
• Philippines
3 May 16
Do you have a club I could sign up? because you are not the only one :) I'm also as proud as you are with your marriage. Sadly, you are correct that a lot of people take marriage too lightly. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and I believe being able to find your soulmate is the best thing. And yes, you really have to be realistic about what's inside marriage. Good for you! I really admire people like you.
2 people like this
@slayer08 (2377)
• Philippines
3 May 16
@melissa1024 agree. And I believe in the adage that 20 or so years ago everything can be fixed from an old machinery down to the mechanics of marriage but these days everything is disposable even people. And it's sad cause there's truth in it and people mostly younger ones believe it and live it.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
3 May 16
@slayer08 Exactly. Because take like my grandparents for instance. They were married 56 years when my grandma passed away. They never once considered divorce and really they said you didn't hear much about divorce until recently.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
3 May 16
@slayer08 Thank you for your kind words. You are so nice. More people need to think like you and I on the subject of marriage.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
8 May 16
@melissa1024 Lots of girls just want to get married and have a fancy wedding. beyond that, I'm afraid there are not many plans made or goals set. The wedding is a party the marriage a fiasco. sad really. We need more life education.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
8 May 16
@MsTickle Exactly. They do it to be the center of attention and do not consider that marriage should be for love and a life long commitment. Of course divorce is easily obtained so they figure it is easily gotten out of once the newness wears off.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
7 May 16
@MsTickle that is true. There are some circumstances where divorce can't be avoided but for some they don't even try to save the marriage. Like someone I know got divorced and six months later got married again and divorced within a year, like it's a hobby or something.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Jun 16
@melissa1024 yes that must be hard I and m y hubby prettty muc h never fought we worked out diffetejnces but hje loved me unconditionally he also always told everyone I was his best friend and I was and he was mine too
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
16 Jun 16
@Hatley sorry for your loss. I feel to many now days just want in marriage while things are good and want to hit the road when things get hard.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
16 Jun 16
@Hatley That's how it is with my husband and I but most of my classmates have been married 3 or 4 times and it got me thinking on this subject.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
16 Jun 16
Nope. Not just you. I am in my early thirties and have been married to my one and only. I always believe that marriage consists of both the good and the bad. You got to work for it. It is not easy, breezy type of thing that you can just replace. We fight, we make up. We just had to endure every problems and celebrate every wonderful moments and that's what marriage is for us. It is not easy but sure is awesome.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
16 Jun 16
@melissa1024 Amen! What's sad is that some doesn't want to endure the hardship and just want the happy part.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
16 Jun 16
@jazel_juan Exactly, in any relationship you are going to have your ups and downs but you must forgive and forget. Some just want to get going when it gets tough and it should not be that way. You should stick together through thick and thin.
1 person likes this
@sathviksouvik (19322)
•
9 May 16
Thanks Melissa for the share. In India for the Hindus marriage is a sacrament not a contract. So getting divorce is also very difficult. In the West it is easy.
1 person likes this
@sathviksouvik (19322)
•
9 May 16
@melissa1024 Dear Melissa, another factor is that in USA people are economically independent. So people have a lot of money. So marriage is a contract. So it is a short term relationship.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
9 May 16
@sathviksouvik That is how some feel. But I am not one of them I feel it is something sacred and the vows you make should be honored.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
9 May 16
@sathviksouvik In ths U.S. it seems divorce is easily obtained. So it seems to happen very frequently. Personally, I am married to a man I love whom loves me and is good to me. We agreed when we married it was for life. Divorce would never be an option.
@aldrinlee (42)
• Chengde, China
3 May 16
Marriage needs patience and good care.I am happy to hear that you do it well.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
3 May 16
@aldrinlee you are absolutely right. I take it serious and as a huge commitment. Plus, we love each other and that goes a long way.
@Sweetsona (300)
• India
5 May 16
I also believe the same. When i marry, it will be forever. I will give my best efforts to keep it going. And touchwood, be by their side in old age too
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
5 May 16
@Sweetsona I believe that's how it should be. Sadly, not to many people feel this way now days.
1 person likes this
@melissa1024 (2456)
• Beckley, West Virginia
7 May 16
@Sweetsona I hope so too. I love the way you think about marriage.
@Sweetsona (300)
• India
6 May 16
@melissa1024 i know but even an lamp is enough to bring light.. I will never give up because, for me, marraige is a union of two people where two become one. Once u have mixed, u can never separate intact. And i dont want to leave any piece of me. I wanna b complete. I hope my partner thinks the same way too.
1 person likes this
