This Really Happened, I Am Not Kidding!

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In 1993 my young family and I moved to Canada to seek greener pastures; we landed in Calgary, Alberta. Unfortunately, there was no green pasture; Alberta was under recession. After a couple of months, we moved to British Columbia of which economy was booming. Being new to a foreign land was hard. I had to utilize all my talents and work experiences to make extra money to support my young family. I was a part-time house-to-house barber and on weekends I taught Filipina contract workers how to drive, a risky but exciting part-time job. In fact, I even thought of doing faith-healing to make fast money. One Saturday a Filipina I was teaching how to drive told me that her friend wanted to learn how to drive, too. Her friend was a sexy, sweet-smiling 23-year-old beauty. We met and agreed to start her driving lesson on the next weekend. Man, she was a “knockout!” And so the next weekend came very fast. After some instructions we hopped into my Hyundai Pony. She sat on the driver’s seat and I on the passenger’s seat. Slowly, she started the car. Broooom! She stepped hard on the gas pedal that made the car moved abruptly and made a very loud noise. I switched off the engine; the car stopped. She was very scared. I got scared, too. After a moment of pondering what to do to keep us both safe, I came up with a unique solution to the problem. “Rose (not her real name), I have a suggestion. If you don’t mind, I sit on the driver’s seat and you sit on my lap so that I could easily assist you. It is easier for you to learn and safer for both of us. Let us put aside any malice!”, I told her with a very convincing tone accompanied by a saintly facial expression. I guessed I looked harmless that she readily agreed. And so it happened what should have not happened. I sat on the driver’s seat and slowly she sat on my lap. O, boy! I focused my attention to the driving lesson. At first everything went just fine. Then something exciting started to happen. Friction started to effect a change to my body and soul. She was so excited learning how to drive that she kept moving her butt on my lap that was causing unnecessary friction that effected a sudden change to my body temperature from moderately negative to extremely positive! My sleeping cute “bubbler” was awakened from its deep slumber. It moved! I felt it! I was not sure if she felt it, too. Maybe she did but she was too preoccupied and excited driving a car for the very first time that she just ignored it. The cute “bubbler” suddenly turned into an ogre and started to react aggressively. I panicked. I asked her to stop the car. She kept on driving. Maybe she did not hear me. And when the cute bubbler turned raging bull, I stepped on the brake pedal and switched off the engine. She was surprised and asked me what happened. I replied nothing happened and that we just needed a break. O, man, I lied! We stopped in a secluded place where apple trees grow and bear fruits. She slowly dislodged herself from my lap. O, what a relief! I excused myself to answer the call of nature. While relieving behind a thick bush, my guardian angel seemed whispering to my right ear “Julito, please, don’t let her sit on your lap again!" Anyway, she successfully learned how to drive. One day we met again one Christmas day. I asked her how her driving was going. She said it was going great and thanked me for patiently teaching her. I told her that I could never forget our first day together. She started giggling. Even her friend giggled. O, man, she felt the raging "bubbler" then and even told her friend about it. Naughty girl! Whew!