The allusive "Dear" :P

In the UK the term 'dear' is quite often used in a condescending fashion by men when they address women who they feel are either beneath them or are maybe getting a little bit unnecessarily hysterical (in their misogynistic opinion!!!). As in "Calm down dear", as David Cameron once infamously directed toward a female MP in the House of Commons.

Dear Sir, I was so happy with your product that I want to buy more. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Truly, A Happy Customer

i dont get offended or anything like that but i dont call them dear in return though.

It is certainly culture related. I notice that Indians both male and female, especially, use the word "dear" almost indiscriminately. In most Western cultures, a man would never address anyone as "dear" unless they were female and in a fairly close relationship (certain old friends, a family member or significant other). Used towards anyone else (for example, a child or a woman outside the 'very close friend' category, it is seen as either heavily patronising or strongly inappropriate. Women, especially mature women, are allowed a little more leeway and, depending on the tone of voice, may either not be considered patronising or (if emphasised) may be intentionally sarcastically patronising or intentionally insulting. There are parts of England where words like "dear", "love" (or "loov"), and occasionally "darling" and even "my lover" may be used even to complete strangers and by both men and women without any hint of affection or of being patronising. These are strictly 'dialect' usages, however. I don't know enough about American cultural uses of the word (or similar affectionate terms) but I think that, on the whole, they follow the above rules.

I use that word here many a times. I have a small set of friends who mean more to me. And they are as dear to me as my relatives. I have always felt home/family with them. So I use this word for them. I have found some lotters opposing that when someone uses that word for them - I take a note of it and the chance of me using Dear for them is very thin (even thinner than me). Yea, I know it is cultural thing - and those who have objections to it and at times seem rudely saying it out, fail to understand that people here are from different cultures. As such, though I have no issues (and my world does not end), I find them distinguishing people on cultural basis. Another thing just for clarification of my last paragraph (I know many will misinterpret it)- there are times, when I see their mentioning this fact out positively, but sometimes, it does not go all that good, and it (the use of dear and feeling bad with it) could be ignored. So the entire last paragraph hold good for these set of people.

I don't want to be called dear by another man. I think it's a term of endearment and it should only be used to someone we hold DEAR. lol But for women who are much older than me, I'm not bothered when they call me dear. Coming from them it's like coming from someone who cares for me like she would care for her own child. This is just my personal opinion and i get annoyed when a young man who's way much younger than me calls me DEAR!

I only use Dear on certain occasions and on letters.

Dad has sprinkled ample dear, darling, sweetheart, and such things. I often ask him dad do you love me...and there are yes dear, and yes darling kind of responses..so..I don't know how he got it, but I have not seen anybody else using it. I am presuming he noticed it at a place he stayed as paying guest. Nuns have always used dear, darling, child, sweetheart with us. I use the same with little kiddos and those for whom I have similar feelings.. I left "child" when one person in office objected to it. I learned bro on the way...and sweetie as well as sweetie pie are from Saphy.

I agree with every bit of what @JJ has expressed. There is someone here who uses it generously.

My grandma used to call me that when I was a child-so I think it feels like your talking down to someone. I don't get angry by it but it's not my favorite term either.

Nah ji, I don't dear all, dear sir etc. But yes people do it, it is not for describing any love or likeness. I'll use dearest instead if I have to. Thanks dear, no est always

Who would have thought that such a little word could have so many different interpretations? I've read the comments and @Owlwings has said everything I would have said regarding its use in England. I would never address someone as 'dear' myself, but I certainly don't get in a tiswas when someone uses it to me. It all depends on the context though, and I'm glad that you haven't thought of using it to me! That would seem inappropriate.

I'm not offended if anyone calls me dear. But I do if someone calls me young because I'm not young anymore.

Hi dear

Oh, that is a word I try to stay away from unless I am writing a letter or something. There are far too many ways that word is used and so often it's used out of context which can be annoying. As for it being cultural?? Well, maybe it is, I'm not sure, thankfully I rarely hear it used around these parts but here there are those who call everyone "Honey" talk about annoying, that really is. I commend you for your efforts at understanding English but honestly I don't think those of us who speak it daily understand all of it.

If you go back to the days of letter writing, we would start the letter "Dear Mrs Fox" or "Dear Nannie" I believe the term "dear" came into use because of that. In many respects it became an easy word to use, almost familiar because of it's origin in letters, and was adopter by the shopkeeper - "what can I get you dear?" To me the worst part is the use of "dearie" especially if said by a man to a man, which sounds very odd indeed. What people should use is "sir" or "madam" in order to be gender appropriate and get away from generalisms. I saw recently a customer talking to a store employee and using their name, Kevin, because it was on their nametag.

I dislike to be called dear but do not know the deep reason for it.

I don't mind being called one i have been called monkey by my siblings so...that will be sweet.for me

@Daljinder ok so this is my take on the whole thing. I don't like being called "Dear." I can tolerate it, but I don't like it. Especially if it's a man calling me that. It's because I have heard that guys tend to call girls / women pet names because they think it gets them closer to them. Some cases, yes, I've known girls who adore being called such names because they think the dude is being sweet but really, I am cautious of that crap! I don't mind being called "Dear" by a woman but if a dude calls me it, I want to vomit! In fact the other thing worse than being called "Dear", is "Hun." If some dude calls me hun, I will cringe and gag! My body will literally want to cave into itself NO it wants to turn inside out because I am THAT grossed out by it!

If i find someone's reply cute and sweet. I use this word