Cooking up a bonfire

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I am a curious cove, today I felt exhausted so I decided to be physical and have a bonfire to get rid of all the rubbish that the so called 'garden clean up' men had neglected to remove when they took my money and put in the minimum amount of time earlier this year. You might ask why I didn't get them back to do the job properly; I've asked myself that question too. The only answer that I have is that the man was so odious that I never want to set eyes on him again. So I gathered all the necessary bonfire stuff, pieces of very dry wood, not so dry wood and blooming green and likely to be smokey wood and set fire to the lot....but only after I had put together the ingredients for some no knead bread. Floor, yeast, water and a pinch of salt. Mix it all together and leave to rise. Then out to the garden and let my inner pyromanic loose with matches, paper sand inflammable substances. Whilst I was busy doing all of that the dog decided that there were rats in the shed and successfully tunnelled her way in thus recreating a hole that she has made before. I am starting to wonder whether I should simply set fire to the shed and be done with it! Bread's not ready yet - hope that it will be yummy.