just a lil ramble session for may 15th, 2016

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here we go with TMI lol I'm now 2 days late and for me this is exciting and torture at the same time. I'm trying so hard not to be hopeful but it's hard. My husband and I want our family so badly. We ended up having a miscarriage in Oct at 6 weeks. I'm making sure i eat better the last couple of weeks, he goes for walks and bike rides with me now that the weather is improving and we help his granddad with the wood at times so i'm becomming healthier day by day. In order to keep my mind busy today i did some picturing and organzing in my hoarder's room things to list on some of the facebook auction groups. I managed to get two loads of laundry folded and put away, kitchen floor is swept, kitchen garbage is emptied and changed with a fresh bag, already made supper and put away left overs and got dishes from supper alone soaking and now just relaxing for a moment or two. I find i am able to accomplish more if i make a list and cross off the things then i can phyically see what i have done and i feel a little better. Part of my disorder i'm weird like that lol. some are gonna say so what you did your housework congrats on being a grown up lol. But for me with the health issues i have suffered and still do each day i am able to do this much is a blessing because i never know how long and far my good days are going to last. I also find i get motivated easier to do more if my husband is out of my hair lol, if hes outside tinkering with something than i crank my music or place on netflix and place the laptop at an angle so i can watch and do my dishes at the same time lol so bear with me i am going crazy wondering, hoping , trying not to hope, preparing myself for that disapointment again and the agony of waiting another month ... gah!