I Am Huckleberry the Kitten, and I am not Having a Good Day
By Debbi Craton
@OldRoadsOnceTraveled (331)
May 20, 2016 9:03pm CST
Hello, this is Huckleberry the Kitten.
First of all, I’d like to point out that this picture of me that my mama took is old, but I’m still cute. It’s just that I’m not a happy kitty right now, and I’m too tuckered to do a photo shoot.
I’m currently protesting the pitiful state of my water bowl. You have no idea how exhausting that is. Constantly being begged to drink. Constantly having a bowl of water stuck under my nose. I don’t care that it’s fresh. I don’t care that there are ice cubes in it. I don’t care that it’s a real bowl, not a plastic one.
For 30 seconds this morning, I did care that it was a real bowl, in the kitchen, not the bathroom, with fresh water, with ice cubes in it.
But I got over it.
The protest went badly this morning when I got stuffed in the carrier against my will and hauled off to the V-E-T. I needed a test done, Mama said. She wanted the V-E-T to see what she decided was a bruise under my chin. And then she told him I wasn’t drinking, and she wanted to make sure I wasn’t dehydrated. And they talked about scheduling something that I’m going to have to fast for the night before. I don’t get that. I’m already a fast kitty.
The V-E-T said I was fine, but only after pricking and sticking me and poking a thermometer where it does not belong. The V-E-T said that the “bruise” was actually flea dirt. (In Mama’s defense, she first thought it was dirt and tried to wash it off.) The V-E-T said the flea stuff I was subjected to yesterday hadn’t killed the fleas by today, and I needed a pill, so he poked one down my throat. The fleas are not down my throat. And then he said to get me a fountain. He also said to contain me somewhere because the fleas were supposed to jump off and die.So I got stuck in the bathroom while Mama went off to work.
All this seriously interfered with nap time, and I’m way behind schedule now and struggling to catch up, which is hard with water constantly being shoved under your nose. When bedtime comes, I’m going to be shoved back into the bathroom with another four bowls of fresh water and told to drink. And I’m pretty sure Mama intends to close the lid to the toilet again. How does she expect me to drink with the lid down?
It’s not all bad. I’m being hand fed kibble, and it’s the junk food kind, not the healthy stuff. There has been talk of opening a can of chicken water, but it has not materialized yet. A fountain has been ordered. I don’t know what a fountain is, but it sounds like one of those kitty boondoggles, where Mama spends a lot of money on something I’ll refuse to use, and I’m all for getting my little pink nose into fun things like that.
And then she said I needed to pay for it myself, so I should start writing.
I have tactfully suggested that as long as she’s at the store anyway, she bring home tuna water tomorrow. She suggested I pay for that, too.
I don’t live an easy life, humans. It’s hard being a cat.
Sincerely, Huckleberry the Kitten
Content and Photo © Huckleberry the Cat, Kitty Blogger, and Debbi Craton
4 people like this
6 responses
@OldRoadsOnceTraveled (331)
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23 May 16
Dear @Genipher
I wouldn't know about that. I'm just an innocent little kitten. I don't know much about dogs.
Sincerely, Huckleberry the Kitten
2 people like this
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
23 May 16
@OldRoadsOnceTraveled Dogs are ok -especially as diversionary tactics when visiting the vet or wanting the food in your bowl cleared. Otherwise they are just noisy. =- Morpheus
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@Jackalyn (7558)
• Oxford, England
21 May 16
My dearest Hucks,
This flea business is complicated. Human 1 does not put flea stuff on me any more. She combs me with a flea comb every day instead. I used to get covered in an awful white powder. I have always refused the pills myself. I just spit them out.
As for drinking, try finding a puddle outside. It tastes much better. I always ignore the inside water bowl myself and I have grown quitr old drinking puddles. I don't recomend the lavatory as you might fall in and that is a horrid experience.
I must go now. I am still nursing Human 1 after she got upside down and need to jump on her and check of she is orking this morning. I think it is early enough to wake her.
Love from Auntie Freya, the Catblog Cat
3 people like this
@Jackalyn (7558)
• Oxford, England
23 May 16
@OldRoadsOnceTraveled Dear Huck,
I have one of those water things with a lid in the bathroom too. I do not see why Humans close the lid at all. There is a trick I learned for when the lid is opened which means te thing wants to make a human sit o it. That is when you sit on the human. I try.
If it is near a water feature you might even be able to lean over and get a drink. I try.
Love from Auntie Freya, the Catblog Catxx
@OldRoadsOnceTraveled (331)
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23 May 16
Dear Auntie Freya the Catblog Cat,
You would not believe the crazy water bowl that showed up at my house. It's just like the big white water bowl in the bathroom, except smaller, and it doesn't have a seat for me to sit and watch the water feature. I don't know what's up with that. It's fun to watch, but I've only drank from it when it was turned off. My mama laughed at me and threatened to put the video on Facebook when I got my nose too close when it was on. That's why I haven't tried it since. It's embarrassing.
Love, Huck the Nipper
PS, most of my schemes are working wonderfully, and I'm learning lots of good tricks for future use.
@LindaCPearson (2240)
• United States
21 May 16
Dearest Huckleberry - It's Mildred the Cat. So good to hear from you. So bad to learn all the terrible things happening to you, like the thermometer incident, the lock-up in the bathroom, the crazy jumping fleas, etc. Boy, I thought I had it bad. I told my mom I thought your mom sounds like a big meanie but she said she's just doing what moms gotta do sometimes, to make sure we dear little kitties are ok. One thing I do suggest - play it for all it's worth. Let her know just how much you are suffering, and insist on more than the usual amount of treats. Keep us posted and if you think your mom should be locked up in the bathroom for awhile, let us know and we'll try to help somehow. It's hard being long distance.
2 people like this
@OldRoadsOnceTraveled (331)
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21 May 16
Dear Auntie Mildred the Cat,
I don't know. If we were to lock my Mama up in the bathroom, I think I would have to go with her. I'm a cat. It's what we do. I do lock her in the bedroom most nights after she tells me to get off the desk.
I have eaten quite a bit of junk food either by hand or in bed the last couple of days, and had catnip and lunch meat, too. Still waiting on the chicken juice, but Mama says she isn't hungry. Don't know what that has to do with anything. Now she's complaining about a lack of M&Ms. In the meantime, the next time she shoves a bowl of water under my nose, I'm going to cover it up with imaginary dirt. I don't know why she laughs at that. I'm quite serious about my disgust.
Love, your cute widdle Huckleberry
2 people like this
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
22 May 16
Dear Huckleberry, I too have had run ins with the VET and they never end well. There are usually thermometers and needles involved and kitty carriers - all of which I detest. I have made my displeasure known upon the occasions when these things happen by moving over to my alternate residence until I feel that my human has learnt her lesson. She always seems sorry - until the next time. But I forgive her if she gives me tuna. - Morpheus
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@OldRoadsOnceTraveled (331)
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23 May 16
Dear Morpheus,
I've only been to the V-E-T place 3 times now, but I'm learning. Something is up for a return trip, but I have been taking notes constantly since last time, and I'm making a list of Mama's weaknesses. I think I have figured out how to turn most of them to my advantage. At least it's worked well getting me catnip, lunch meat, and all the gravy I want without having to eat the rest of the stuff from the can that I don't like. And those threats to give the leftovers to the neighbor kitties? Invite them over. They can eat out of those plastic bowls I've been covering with imaginary dirt.
Sincerely, Huckleberry the Scholar
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@OldRoadsOnceTraveled (331)
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21 May 16
Dear Kitten,
I'm 9 months old so technically still a kitten, but my Mama has taken to calling me a teenager. I don't know why.
This was only my 3rd time at the V-E-T, but I am inclined to agree with you. I have a feeling I'll agree even more after whatever is happening next week.
Purrs and Kitty Kisses,
Huckleberry the Kitten
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