I Can't Keep Plants Alive

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I have two thumbs and not one of them are green (stupid intro I know, but it sounded funny in my head). I have tried for years to be one of those "plant people" but it just wasn't meant to be. Every plant I brought home died instantly. It was like they knew the second I touched them that there was no hope so they just gave up on life altogether. I was telling a customer at work about my lost cause and she suggested I get some lucky bamboo. Lucky bamboo is supposed to be impossible to kill. She told me what I needed to do to keep it alive and I got my hopes up. I bought the plant and arranged it beautifully in my living room. I was convinced my plant killing spree was over. Then it died. Well, bummer. Maybe I give off some sort of poisonous scent that only plants can detect. Who knows? I ended up giving up on the idea until I bought my new pc and discovered a simple game where you can pick out a flowering pot, choose some seeds, and grow your own virtual plants! Finally! I'm great with pc games! I'll just be a "virtual plant person"! I chose the seeds and the cutest flowering pot. I returned to the game every day to water the plants and say hello to the little snail that liked to circle the outside of the pot. A couple weeks went by and I was quite pleased with the gorgeous flowers I had blooming. Then the Oculus Rift showed up. I forgot about my plants and focused on this new found experience called "virtual reality". A week later, I remember about my precious plant and click the icon to bring up the game. Guess what? They're dead. They trusted me to care for them and I starved them to death. I'm a monster...lol