A Stranger To His Children.

@crazyhorseladycx I'm sorry that your dad didn't have time for you - I know it's difficult if they miss those first years of 'bonding'. Luckily we were able to overcome that.

@crazyhorseladycx He obviously missed the jewel under his nose - his loss.

@jaboUK yer most fortunate fer such. i consider't water under the bridge. i tried fer the last 30 years'f his life to turn such 'round. sadly i didn't make much progress. he was closer to his step-young'uns 'n greatly involved'n their lives. i've always been the "black sheep"

@jstory07 That's good that you were able to go wherever your Dad was stationed. You couldn't have done that if he'd been fighting.

@amadeo Didn't you get on with your Dad?

@WorDazza Very unlikely - I don't even know most of my neighbours. But in those days everybody knew each other and were in and out of each other's houses all the time.

I can hardly imagine what it must have been like.

@jaboUK I'm not sure that the same sense of community would be present if the same situation were to occur these days.

@Lucky15 So you were in a similar situation to me. Did you get to know him better later?

@Lucky15 I'm glad about that Reine.

@jaboUK i did.janet..when i was.in highschool. And he retired.when i was in collge and.spent his last.years here ;)

@miniam I remember you saying about your unhappy childhood before, I feel for you.

@miniam Are you still in contact with your mother?

@jaboUK If l did not contact her,she will never contact me,have tested,there was a time l did not call for about 10 months,she did not call me to ask what`s wrong.There was a time l was in hospital 5 months,called and informed her i was going into hospital for a long period of time. Those 5 months, l did not get a single call or card or anything at all asking how I was.That was painful. As said, if l dont call her,she will not call me so l do call about 2 times a month,sometimes more.Then I visit on Christmas if I'm not working.I send birthday cards and presents. Dont worry she`s still the same,she still decides what we can watch on Tv when there,what music is allowed etc.Totally dominating

@glenniah That's interesting that your grandfathedr took the place of your father in your heart. Some men do find it hard to show their feelings, and that was especially true in those days.

@jaboUK it's nice that you eventually got along with your dad, got to know him, and spend time with him.

@dodo19 That's great Dominique. That's how it was for us after the war, when we'd got to know each other better.

@jaboUK Thanks, it was hard work, I got out of most of the outdoor work because I was so sickly when I was young, but my brothers didn't get spared. It quite often lead to some feelings of resentment from them towards me during those times. I think that its all forgotten today.

@Juliaacv Your childhood sounds idyllic Julia, though I know that farming is hard work. You obviously had a wonderful relationship with your father.

@Tampa_girl7 Your Dad was in the military too, wasn't he? The difference is that you were mostly able to go with him, as it wasn't wartime.

@jaboUK yes, most of the time he took us with him.

@Drosophila He sure was, and he stayed handsome all his life, looking more distinguished as he got older.

@Drosophila I do, but not on the computer.

@jaboUK ooohh! do you have more picture!!

@DianneN My faather was handsome, wasn't he? I'm glad that your father was there every evening with you.

@DianneN That was important work.

@jaboUK Your father was a brave and handsome man! So was my dad. He fought in the war, too, but mostly repaired airplanes.

@JudyEv I don't think there was any birth control in those days - good job as I wouldn't be here

@JudyEv It was probably more bitter than sweet - I wasn't planned! I was born with the cord round my neck too.

@jaboUK Oh my goodness! Very much more bitter than sweet! With eight years between me and my twin siblings I'm not sure I was particularly 'planned' either. Actually I don't know that a lot of planning went on in those days.

I've just read your interesting post DJ. I think it's great when we spark each other off. My next post is going to be about something that LadyDuck triggered off for me.

@Daljinder Yes I've seen that one and responded to it.

@jaboUK Yes it's awesome. Did you see there is another person who did a discussion like this? She tagged you there.

@jaboUK I think they do miss out. But I don't know if my dad felt this way or at least he would never admit to it. From what I've seen, he was never seemed comfortable with kids (but funny how he has become an interactive grandpa!).

@much2say I know that a lot of men did the same as your Dad - leaving the kid's stuff to the mother. They missed out on a lot, didn't they?

@much2say I've noticed that sometimes - people can become better grandparents than parents. I suppose the pressure is off, and they can just hand the kids back when they want to.

@jaboUK Yes, they were both murdered.

@jaboUK It's ok. I have written about it in my discussion.

@toniganzon OMG - how absolutely appalling. Sorry if my question was intrusive and may have upset you.

@jaboUK When he got older , he isn't strict anymore . We can already kiss and hug him , which we seldom do nor he does when he was still younger .

@SIMPLYD That's great that you father has mellowed enough to give and receive affection.

@SIMPLYD That's great, and I know that good relationship between you extends to this day.

@jaboUK He was when we were younger but when I was about 12 years old he got hurt on the job. Then my mother had to go to work and my father stayed home with us. That was the worst time in our lives. We went from just helping around the house to doing every single chore in the house while he watched TV. Then him and my uncle would laugh at my sister and I while we were stuck doing chores... It wasn't a good childhood at all.

@LovingMyBabies How unpleasant that must have been.

@LovingMyBabies I'm sorry that you don't think a lot of your Dad, but he must be a hard worker. But there's more to life than work, isn't there?

@Ceerios Wow - 19 inches of rain in 2 days! They must be flooded out. Glad you aren't getting it quite as badly as that. Your dad must have been quite old when you were born - he was born even before my grandfather. You probably remember wartime even better than me - as you say, they were interesting times.

@Ceerios The women here didn't have to join in the war action, but many of them did of course. The factories were 'manned' mostly by women. Interesting about your father - he must have been quite a guy.

@jaboUK - Ms Janet - Sure enough. He was "old" in today's way of looking at things - 45. When WW2 began for the US in 1941, he was 55. When he got to (around) 58 he went to work in a "war plant" that manufactured "jigs" for airplane wings. Every day he rode the train from our city into the Harlem section of New York City where the plant was located. His profession was architecture - houses, buildings, and so forth. The work at the war plant had nothing to do with that. He started work there carrying large steel beams to the machinists working there. The men taught him how to use all of the machines they employed. Within 6 months he became a supervisor. Their factory won a government award for excellent work and high productivity. He was an Air Raid Warden when not working in the factory - nights, etc. Actually, my father was like all of the other men who had not been drafted into the military. Many worked at jobs that were very new to them and prepared for what might happen if the country suffered direct attacks at home. Those in the UK had peril already through the front door, and all of the people, men, women, and kids graduated from their baby cribs, all had to join in the war action. The only "good" thing about those times were that people had tremendous unity going for them.

@garymarsh6 Yes - each time he went back he must have wondered if he'd ever see us again. And it must have been awful for my mother too - not knowing if he'd come back, or if she would get the dreaded tellow telegram.

@garymarsh6 That's great that he was prepared to leave his job for the sake of being with you.

@jaboUK My father worked in France for around a year. Every Friday we used to run home like heck because he came home on a Friday but come Sunday evening he went back. We used to bawl our eyes out every time. In the end he chucked in his job as it was too emotional for all of us!