"Friends" Who Put You Down
By Raine38
@Raine38 (12250)
United States
May 28, 2016 11:45am CST
Before I moved here in the U.S., I weigh 98 lbs. After 2 years, I went up to 135 lbs. Now, I am down to 126. I stand 5 feet, 2 inches and I know that it is a far cry from my usual weight. What can I say, drastic change in diet, activities and stressful circumstances managed to affect my weight as well. But I am slowly but surely getting back on my old clothes size and I am happy with the gradual result of healthy and clean eating and very occasional exercises. You would think that my "friends" will be encouraging and supportive. Well, that did not happen.
Every now and then, we will gather together for birthday parties, baby showers, and send off parties. Having a very busy schedule, I was not able to make it to all events. And in those that I was able to go, I have nothing but excitement to see my "friends" and catch up. How would you feel if the first thing they tell you while you are getting food from the buffet table is, "Oh my goodness! You have grown so fat!" I do not even know how to answer that, and I was not able to do anything but blush and force a smile. I am so confused. These words are coming from women who outweigh me by 15 lbs or heavier!
Once I tried telling them that I have actually lost weight, they would insist that no, I did not and if ever I did lose some, they can't even tell. I end up going home feeling bad rather than refreshed and happy. If it's not my weight, it will be someone else's life that they will talk about. Many times I feel so lost and alone in the company of those people. I don't understand it at all.
We decided to stay away from those people who really have nothing else to bring to the friendship but hurt and heartless words. I know that we will be able to make friends with other people who doesn't have to resort to shaming when pointing out our misgivings.
9 people like this
12 responses
@acelawrites (19272)
• Philippines
29 May 16
They should hold their mouths shut while you are getting food from the table! What a timing they had! You should avoid such people who can stress you out. Anyway your life will still be fine without them around.
1 person likes this
@acelawrites (19272)
• Philippines
29 May 16
@Raine38 yes, you can avoid them but still be friends with them.
@GameAddict (54)
•
28 May 16
"Friends" like that are definitely not worth keeping. And normally I thought that people would steer away from senitive subjects like weight in a conversation (unless the other person is ok with it) and would refrain from calling people out on their weight and embarrassing them. I guess not nowadays :/
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
29 May 16
that happened to me when a college classmate boarded the jeep i was riding in and the first thing she said was how fat i was. it was the way she said it that i didn't like. it's like she was so offended and i committed such a grave sin. sheesh!
i saw her again recently and finally consented to giving my cell number, but never replied back to her text.
@SimonOloo (96)
• Nairobi, Kenya
29 May 16
So sad, though what they say should not define you. You also made a magnifficent decision to stay away from them, I cant imagine how small other friend's mind are to discuss about people and event rather than issues which help grow.
@Dramista (542)
•
29 May 16
They probably said that to feel better about themselves. Hey at least your'e trying to lose weight and that's what matters.
The only opinion that matters is your opinion, don't listen to the bad things on what they say but focus on the good.
Good luck on losing weight and making your life better !!!
