A giant pile of mess!

@maxen07 (882)
Philippines
May 29, 2016 9:14pm CST
What do you do when all you have in your head is a huge pile of puzzle pieces and it's all strewn on the floor and you cannot pick them up to start connecting them together? That's how I feel right now. All these weeks that I've spent earning $5 every two to four days from forum posting, I feel like just banging my head on the wall because I want to leave it behind now but I'm stuck. I want to be a freelance writer and earn way above that but I'm so worried about money matters right now that focusing on what to write is suddenly becoming a chore. Coming back to the same forums every day to post a minimum of five threads or thread replies with a minimum of four sentences each, I cannot express enough how deeply disgusted I am right now for settling on it with nothing else but desperation that fueled me to be able to make nine cashouts just so I can have something to fill my purse right where my son is allowed to take money to buy his daily snacks. I'm not even sure if I can make it to ten. I don't even understand why I'm so emotionally stressed with this right now. Do you know that every article I've been to listed writing blog posts and creating content as one of the highest paying on the Internet right now because it is the lifeblood of the worldwide web? It's not really surprising. My focus is all over the place and my motivation just got seriously tangled with it when they should be in perfect harmony and not a chaotic mess. I want to write something good that will be worth the money. I want to earn a thousand dollars a month just by writing. Forum posting seemed like a good place to practice while I earned money on the side but now I realize that it's turning out to be a waste of time. I am not learning anything and maybe it's because I have no clear goal of what I should really be doing. I have $2500 of debt and I'm scared of the fact that I don't seem to have the drive to wipe that all out. I am not worried until someone asks me about it and I don't understand why. Sometimes I think I need professional help.
2 people like this
4 responses
@MGjhaud (23240)
• Philippines
30 May 16
you already have a goal -- your son.
1 person likes this
@AkoPinay (11544)
• Philippines
20 Aug 16
You didn't like bitLanders?
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
30 May 16
when it comes to paid forums, i prefer simple and easy sites that have no quotas so i don't feel pressured, and i don't mind if it takes me longer to cash out. that's why i bounce between here and chatabout. i hope you find another way soon, online or offline.
@Genipher (5405)
• United States
30 May 16
Have you thought about writing and publishing a book? Are you going to start a blog? Have you thought about taking a college class on writing, so you can get more practice? Financial Aid would probably cover the cost of the class. Oh, and Dave Ramsey's book, The Total Money Makeover might help you with your debt. I know how it is to have debt hovering over you. It can make a person anxious and worried.