Can you say a joke..

Bob says to Lester, "You know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation, only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice as to where to go. Two years ago you said to go to Hawaii, I went to Hawaii, and Marie got pregnant. Then last year, you told me to go to the Bahamas, I went to the Bahamas, and Marie got pregnant again." Lester says, "So what you gonna do different this year?" Bob says, "This year, I'm takin' Marie with me..."

A dipper and a gora are sitting beside each other on a plane. It was a long flight to India so the gora said:"Let's play a game." The dipper said sure. The gora said let's play I spy. The dipper said sure. The gora started. He said I spy with my little eye something black. The dipper said suitcase? He was right. Then he said I spy with my little eye something that starts with the letter B. The gora looked hard for about ten minutes. Then finally he gave up .He said what was it. The dipper said look stupid gora "bindow"!

A man went to a pet shop and bought a talking parrot. He took the parrot home, and tried to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead the parrot just swore at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird finally the man said "If you don't stop swearing I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment." The parrot continued, so finally the man put the bird in the freezer. About an hour later the parrot asked the man to please open the door. As the man took the shivering bird out of the freezer it said "I promise to never swear again. Just tell me what that turkey did!"

Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear , then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white

The Pope comes to America. Of course, he’s very busy. Masses, rallies, dinners, events, etc. For security, he has the same limo driver daily. One evening at a banquet, he sees a chance to sneak away unnoticed. He goes out back, finds his limo, knocks on the window and finds the driver lounging in the rear seat eating a huge sandwich with his feet up on the seat. Driver: Your holiness! I’m so sorry. Where can I take you? Forgive me! Pope: Sit, eat, my son. Truthfully, I’d like to take the car for a drive. I’m the Pope, and everything is done for me. I’ve never driven an automobile. Please allow me. Driver: Certainly, Your Holiness. Let me assist. Pope: Sit, my son. Finish your dinner. The Pope begins to drive. Naturally, he is not very good at it as he has never done this before. After hitting several parked cars, lamp posts, and stop signs, he is pulled over by a state trooper. The police man gets out of his cruiser, approaches the driver’s window and knocks. The Pope lowers the window, Trooper eyes the scene and retreats to his cruiser. Immediately, he grabs his cell phone and phones the governor. Trooper: Governor, this is State Trooper Wilson. I’ve just pulled over the most important person in the world for a serious traffic violation but I don’t know what to do. Gov: Wilson, who could you possibly have pulled over? Trooper: I have no idea, but he’s sitting in the back seat of a limo, eating a sandwich and the Pope is his driver!

A sardar businessman drives frequently from Jalandhar to Delhi in his car takes 1 day and while returning the journey it takes 2 days. This left his friends question why is it so? Sardar replies man the car is given 4 gears to move forward and only one for reverse!

why do punjabis have connected eye brows???? ans- TO KEEP SAND OUT OF THEIR EYES!!!!!!

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Ok try these ones. How many elephants can you fit in a Volkswagon (its a car)- 2 in the front and 2 in the back. How do you know you have an elephant in your fridge? - There's footprints in the butter. How do you know you have two elephants in your fridge? - You hear conversation how do you know you have three elephants in your fridge? - Your fridge starts to bulge How do you know you have four elephants in your fridge? - There's a Volkswagon parked outside. Why does an elephant paint his balls orange. To hide in orange trees. How did Tarzan die. Picking oranges.

This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over. "You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked." "'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.

which part of your body can you find Micky Mouse, donald duck, minnie mouse, daisy duck, etc? Point to your knee and say "THIS-KNEE"...for DISNEY! muahaha...

Air India will add $25 extra for luggage over 50 pounds. You can understand the surcharge from the baggage handler's perspective. A heavy item is much more difficult to lift and put on the wrong plane.

A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him. The newcomer asks, "W w what are yyy you ddd doing here?" The man replies, "I am waiting to see the doctor." "W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss see hhim?" The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate problem. "A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat's ttthat?" "Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk."