What Is It That Is Soo F*cked up about HIM?

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More often than not, I find myself flustered with the thought of how messed up these little games can be in these hapless relationships. I find myself in this situation, which in itself, is useless. Let me break it down: Once upon a time, a little sophomore in high school saw the most gorgeous guy, he was tall, perfect bone structure, funny, and a smile to melt you into a puddle of goop. That little sophomore was, you guessed it, ME. I began talking to this guy, we'll call him Posh...like Poshy moron. Anywhos, I started talking to Posh, and it was going well, at least I thought so. He would call me practically every night, we'd talk until 3AM, for a couple months. Red flags went off when I never saw him around at school...never hugged him...talked to him...if he saw me, he would flash a small discreet smile my way, and that was all. One day, little ol' me, even at that young age, plucked the courage to ask him where all this talk was going...I mean typically, when someone constantly tells you how beautiful you are, and wants to call you all the time, has to have at least a little bit of the feels. Well, it went south...Posh went crazy on me, and was throwing the whole "What you think I like YOU?" card, and basically tried his darnedest to break my heart. I cried, and moved on, licked my wounds. Then, from that point on, began the redundant back and forth thing. He would say some dumb sh*t, and we would get into a fight, not talk for a year, then come back for more. I guess you could say we were attracted to the beauty of our own destruction as a potential couple. Here I am, 6 years later, turning 21 soon, and I'm still talking to Posh. In fact, our last split up only lasted about 2 or 3 months. For some reason, the gaps between us not talking is closing rapidly. I suppose it might have something to do with some sort of sexual tension built up. We ARE adults, and we have needs, as do most of our high strung generation; BUT, I think you'll be happy to know, or at least I'm happy to look back on the fact that, I haven't slept with him...although I feel like that might be inevitable...seeing that we've had so much history...I just want things to be simple, and I don't want any stress with it. I really don't need another stress pimple in my life... I know what I deserve as a person, and I think everyone should. If you feel you deserve to spoil someone with love and delicious homemade desserts, and they feel like they want to send you a dozen roses on your birthday, then go out a get that! Don't let a Posh stop you from doing that...it's never too late to hold the middle finger up at that guy, OR GAL, and move the hell on. Go out and get the life you feel you deserve. Currently Listening To: Without U - Spooky Black