Friendship Frustration
@CRK109 (14556)
United States
June 3, 2016 12:30pm CST
I have a short fuse on this one. I've tried and tried to be so understanding, but I think that's coming to an end. I need to find some new friends in my area, around my own age.
The one friend who has been there for me in all the bad stuff I've been going through the last year and a half suddenly seems to have no time for me anymore. She helped me move 2 months ago and then disappeared from my life. She posts on FB about going out with other friends, and things with her family, but there hasn't been anything to me about going out. She lives about 20 minutes away and when I had a car I used to drive to her house several times a week. Her mother lives a couple of miles from me and she visits her quite a bit. But she complains to me that I live too far away. Well...okay.
The other day she messaged me that she wants to get together next Friday. I checked my appointment book to make sure nothing else is going on and contacted her that I'd love to see her. But now she says she has other plans and might not be able to make it. Well, don't offer something if you can't follow through.
I'm so tired of feeling worthless to other people. I used to have the time for so many people but no one has the time for me. I'm about ready to give up.
-Claudia-
image from pixabay
10 people like this
11 responses
@epiffanie (11326)
• Australia
4 Jun 16
You know, I have learned to enjoy my own company.. That way I don't feel abandoned or worthless like I used to..
1 person likes this
@epiffanie (11326)
• Australia
6 Jun 16
@CRK109 Yes I agree it could be depressing.. I haven't really experienced being alone 24/7 .. I want to experience a year sabbatical.. I have been thinking abut it for a while now but my husband won't let me ..
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
4 Jun 16
When things change it is often difficult for people to adjust. You do need to find new friends and just enjoy whatever time you get from this friend sometimes people just get busy and I am sure your not having a car is difficult for you and maybe for her too. I don't think I would write her off just yet especially if you have been friends for a while. Try to reschedule the date right away and get your friendship back on track.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
5 Jun 16
@CRK109 Did your husband entertain her kids? It sounds like it was something that may have benefited her. Obviously she must be quite a bit younger to have school age kids. You are certainly worthy of friendship and maybe it is time to expand your horizons. How about any ladies at church? Some of my very good friends are from prayer group and other activities at church. Can you volunteer somewhere, join a craft class, go to the senior center just meet lots of new people, you never know where the next friend is coming from. My latest friend is an internet friend in Virginia and we talk several days a week. We are both writers. It is just a matter of finding commonality.
@CRK109 (14556)
• United States
5 Jun 16
I'm not counting her out exactly. The difference is that I'm no longer counting ON her. She's the person who had wanted me to give a spare key to my apartment if something happened to me. but if she can't even drive her to see me after 2 months of not seeing one another at all, then I can't be sure she could take care of things for me. Now that her children are getting out of school for the summer, she said her time is going to be tied up a lot. When my husband was alive, she would invite the two of us to go places with her and her children. But now that it's just me, she never does that anymore. I know she doesn't realize how it's made me feel, but I've begun to feel very unworthy of any friendship. And that's not a good sign.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51620)
• Canada
3 Jun 16
Is something going on in her life that she's suddenly so distant? Of course you'd probably be the last to know as it sounds like you don't hear from her often. I'd be your buddy if we were neighbours, so since we are not, we'll have to be cyber-friends, okay?
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14556)
• United States
5 Jun 16
Thank you. Yes, we're cyber friends for sure. I've come to love my friends here since I talk to all of you pretty much every day. It's a wonderful way to spend my time. I see her post on FB all the time, but she posts things for other friends. She thanks other friends for meeting her for lunch or drinks or whatever. She talks about things she's doing with her husband and her children. She does have a very full life. I guess there's just no time for me right now. I've invited some other people here for a visit, so if that begins to happen, I won't obsess over her friendship as much.
1 person likes this
@jerry260188 (247)
• India
3 Jun 16
It seems she is upset over something and you need to confront her.If even then she is not having any time for you, then no need to run after her.
1 person likes this
@jerry260188 (247)
• India
5 Jun 16
@CRK109
Don't let anyone take you forgranted even the people who are close to you.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Jun 16
I have friends who do this quite often. Tell me to come visit. I show up and they aren't home. I work all week long and have very little free time. So when I say I am going to visit on any given day, know that I will be there.
Makes me angry to hear of your friend doing this to you. Invite her one more time. If she makes up an excuse again, come right out and ask her what her problem is. Better to get it out in the open rather than sweeping it under the rug.
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14556)
• United States
5 Jun 16
Rather than doing that, I invited someone else to come visit. I'm going to invite a couple of other people, too. If I can get involved in a couple of other friendships, even just once in a while, it will take my mind off her. We'll still be friends but just not as close as we once were.
@CRK109 (14556)
• United States
5 Jun 16
Yes, I know it's different. I never used to feel "old", but what's happened with our friendship has made me feel old now. She's fine with the friends her age but not me. I've begun to invite other people to come visit so we'll see how that goes. One is my age and the other is a little younger, but I've known her forever. I just need someone to visit once in a while.
@CRK109 (14556)
• United States
5 Jun 16
At this point, I'm not even looking for anyone who understands my life. I just need a friend who will just care about me. Just because. I don't have that in my life right now and it's wearing on me more than I can say.
@CRK109 (14556)
• United States
5 Jun 16
When my husband passed away, she's the first person I called. She came and spent time with me. She helped me over the last year and half since then, culminating in me losing my home and having to move. I get the feeling that she'd had enough hand holding with me. Maybe I've just been too needy. After she helped me move, I ordered her an angel/friendship figurine and had it shipped to her home. She messaged me when she got it and seemed pretty happy that I'd sent her a thank you gift. But then there's been nothing for over 2 months. So I don't know.
1 person likes this
@jerry260188 (247)
• India
3 Jun 16
It seems she is upset over something and you need to confront her.If even then she is not having any time for you, then no need to run after her.
