It's Not Just About the Air Conditioner
By patgalca
@patgalca (18390)
Orangeville, Ontario
June 3, 2016 1:25pm CST
The air conditioner just isn't working. It's down for the third time this week. The lines keep freezing because there is a leak. Even though the boyfriend attempted to seal the leak, we are still having problems. I suggested a week ago that we get a new a/c since we got a new furnace recently and they would be the same age, working together. Also, we have the money now (from the government disability tax credit) and may not have it next year when it would be decided we have no choice but to get a new one. In my opinion, we have no choice now.
Add to that, my daughter and her boyfriend are leaving tomorrow (Saturday) for a two week vacation. So getting a new a/c now is not going to happen. I don't think there is even time for an attempt to fix it as he is working today. I don't know why my husband is being so stubborn about this.
I know we were going to build a new deck but where has that gone? Hubby took the old one apart and hasn't contacted anyone who knows anything about building decks in an effort to get the job started. Now we have to go out the front door and walk around back if we want to use the pool. No a/c, no easy access to the pool. I am so tired of his procrastinating (and I thought I was the major procrastinator in the house). He is never concerned about stuff that bothers others because he is rarely home either golfing, working or at the gym (he doesn't care if the shower doesn't give hot water because he showers at work and at the gym).
Well, he better do something before I spend all our money on clothes! 
Or make the decisions myself. I've already asked the BF how much a new a/c would cost. My husband refused to even ask him because he didn't want to get to that point. Now he is saying 'I guess we'll have to wait until he gets back [from vacation]' to get the a/c fixed. Well duh! Even if we got a new one, to get a very low price we have to wait for him... hmmm... unless I call his buddy/co-worker. We'd have to pay him labour though. But I don't know how good he is at his job.
I may have to move down to the basement (where it is cooler).
There is a bigger issue here, though. Why does he not put my wants, desires, needs at the top of his mind? I feel like I did living at home with my siblings, the very bottom of the totem pole. 
Or make the decisions myself. I've already asked the BF how much a new a/c would cost. My husband refused to even ask him because he didn't want to get to that point. Now he is saying 'I guess we'll have to wait until he gets back [from vacation]' to get the a/c fixed. Well duh! Even if we got a new one, to get a very low price we have to wait for him... hmmm... unless I call his buddy/co-worker. We'd have to pay him labour though. But I don't know how good he is at his job.
I may have to move down to the basement (where it is cooler).
There is a bigger issue here, though. Why does he not put my wants, desires, needs at the top of his mind? I feel like I did living at home with my siblings, the very bottom of the totem pole. 5 people like this
5 responses
@patgalca (18390)
• Orangeville, Ontario
3 Jun 16
We wouldn't have gotten snow tires on the car if I hadn't taken the initiative. One of our daughters could have lost their lives if I hadn't done that. His brain is fried (you know why) and he only thinks of himself and his own needs.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
3 Jun 16
Sounds vaguely familiar. My husband is terrible at fixing things. My kitchen floor had to be replaced and new floor cover put on it too boot. The floor was replaced and all but the area around the cupboards have been covered with the cheap sticky tiles that our landlord provided. It has been 4+ years since he started the task. Since then the floor in the living room needed some work. That too is only partially done. I have threatened to fix it myself. Says he will get to it. I may need to let the landlord hire someone else to do the work.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
4 Jun 16
@patgalca yup, so we sit and stew about the fact that nothing gets done. Frustrating.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18390)
• Orangeville, Ontario
4 Jun 16
@ElusiveButterfly Well.... I have to say, I found out tonight that my husband had called and left a message for my brother-in-law about the deck. He is the ultimate handyman and has built many decks. He just hasn't gotten back to my husband yet. And the boyfriend was getting frustrated with our air conditioning. It appears it was the new thermostat he put in, so he put another one in today and I think all is well now.
1 person likes this
@RichardMeister (5328)
• Otis Orchards, Washington
3 Jun 16
Maybe you should just go ahead and get the new a/c and if your husband says anything tell him the BF said the old one was too shot to be fixed.
@patgalca (18390)
• Orangeville, Ontario
3 Jun 16
When I got some money from my mother/sister (a $5,000 on demand loan) I took some of it and put it in my bank account to keep it safe because I rarely take money out of my solo account. When the government gave me the retroactive disability tax credit I took some money from that and stashed it away. We have since had to buy a new furnace, spend $2,000 on car repairs, and now we're looking at a new a/c. I have the money in that other account if he gives me too much flack.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18390)
• Orangeville, Ontario
4 Jun 16
@RichardMeister Oh, he knows about the money. It was my decision to transfer it for safe keeping and he agreed.
1 person likes this
@RichardMeister (5328)
• Otis Orchards, Washington
4 Jun 16
@patgalca I don't know if it's a secret account but you'll let the cat out of the bag if you tell him. Will that cause more flack if he doesn't know you have that much money saved in your account?
@ryanalion47 (72)
• Pinellas Park, Florida
3 Jun 16
Sounds to me like he's getting burned out on responsibility yet he puts it all on his shoulders. The problem could simply be that its a pile of work. It's easy to tackle one task but it can be intimidating looking at the mountain of tasks that keeps-a-growin. I know its not fair to settle for less but maybe if you told him if he fixes on thing then you will take care of the other, or that you'll stop groaning about it.
I worked full time for a few years, was in 2 schools part time each, and had a girlfriend. When I lost my father it was too much. I took off from school for a while because my skin crawled with the thought of it. I know he cant quit his job but maybe he's bored by it.
@patgalca (18390)
• Orangeville, Ontario
3 Jun 16
I think he is fed up with the problems in this house. When I told him my daughter found a really nice house in a town not too far from us at a really good price he wanted to sell this house "as is". I don't think that's a good idea. We would have to price the house low because of its condition. We can't afford to fix everything, true, but fix the things that matter. He already took the freaking deck apart now get a new one built.
Another thing is I am sure that after 20 years of being sick and unable to work, he blames me for not helping financially and the burden has been put on his shoulders. He conveniently forgets about all the inheritance money I put in to help pay off the house, buy him a new car, etc.
I'll add one more... he's rather play than take care of me and the house. Golf is his priority. 
@ryanalion47 (72)
• Pinellas Park, Florida
3 Jun 16
@patgalca Sucks when you just wanna be done with something but can't just quit. Though inheritance money wasn't worked for it's still you money, that you contributed. Its unfair of him to think this way especially when its not like you asked to be sick for so darn long. I bet if his expensive golf clubs broke he'd be quick to finding a new set.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18390)
• Orangeville, Ontario
3 Jun 16
@ryanalion47 Ha ha... when we had all the trouble with leaks in our house... and the shed caving in from the weight of the snow, his golf clubs were in that shed and yeah, he was quick to go get another set. Thanks for bringing that up. I'll have to use it next time he puts something off... probably when we talk tonight. 
