Saucy Snippets

By Jabo
@jaboUK (64354)
United Kingdom
June 9, 2016 10:40am CST
An old couple watched TV in bed, All thoughts of a love life long dead, When her hands did wander, Wow, whaaat? he did wonder. But "I want the remote'" she just said. Young Charlie just wanted a fling He thought he was on a good thing, He was peeved when she said No thanks to his bed, Unless he provided a ring. A young man thought he'd got lucky, That in his stars there was nookie, But from his missus There were no kisses, As she had a headache - unlucky! I hope I haven't offended anyone - just having a bit of fun My photo
51 people like this
55 responses
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
9 Jun 16
The two lovers kissed and then fumbled Then onto the bed they both tumbled But in burst his wife Brandishing a knife It seems that the man had been rumbled
14 people like this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
9 Jun 16
@jaboUK I actually found it to be a difficult subject, which is odd since limericks are traditionally in this genre.
6 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
Bravo Barry! I've used up all my naughty rhymes for now, I may come back at you later
7 people like this
@JudyEv (339950)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Jun 16
@Asylum @jaboUK We have a book of limericks and I don't think there is a clean one amongst them.
7 people like this
@JudyEv (339950)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Jun 16
Your lim'ricks will not offend me They're written in jest I can see I think that they oughta' Be longer, not shorter But lim'ricks they wouldn't then be!
8 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@JudyEv Lol - you're back in limerick mode! Very clever too 'oughta- shorter'!! Thanks Judy.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@JudyEv I know the feeling!
2 people like this
@JudyEv (339950)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Jun 16
@jaboUK Sometimes they come quite easily; other times nothing will seem to work.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (471500)
• Switzerland
9 Jun 16
I loved them all Janet, they are funny. Those ladies are terrible.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
@LadyDuck Well if you say they are alright, they must be! So glad you thought they are funny, thanks.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471500)
• Switzerland
9 Jun 16
@jaboUK I am sure that nobody can feel offended by those verses.
2 people like this
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
10 Jun 16
I thought they were great.... ssooo funny... I think the one with the remote is my favourite ....lol I don't think you should have any worries about offending anyone....
5 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@sueznewz2 Thanks for your vote of confidence. I seem not to have offended anyone so far
3 people like this
@pgntwo (22408)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
10 Jun 16
Jabo's Limericks're getting quite racy, Her rhymes making my eyes go hazy Though not her intent, My mind is quite bent And her jokes, they drive me real crazy!
2 people like this
@rebelann (112878)
• El Paso, Texas
11 Aug 20
Funny limerick retort, love it
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@pgntwo Now you're getting in on the act, Yours is so good, that's a fact, This little ditty Is really quite witty, That's quite a punch it has packed.
2 people like this
@pgntwo (22408)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
11 Jun 16
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
9 Jun 16
LOL! Poor chaps! They all are left frustrated now.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
@Daljinder Lol - they'll get over it!
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50250)
• United States
9 Jun 16
You naughty woman they were really cute.
2 people like this
@rebelann (112878)
• El Paso, Texas
11 Aug 20
You need some more laughs so reread the limericks it'll do that.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@Tampa_girl7 Lol - I can do naughty, even at my age!
2 people like this
• United States
9 Jun 16
aw, i've great hopes that my waterlily'll be bloomin' 'fore too long! bein' a tad bit'n the racy side, eh? lol, enjoyed the much needed giggles, dear friend! big hugs 'n love comin' 'cross the pond :D
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@crazyhorseladycx Yes, just a bit racy. No-one seems to have minded so far. You've water lilies on your pond? They must be lovely. Luv comin' back atcha
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@crazyhorseladycx Hope to see some photos when the lilies bloom.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jun 16
@jaboUK lol, bless yer heart. was jest the schtuff i needed to read today:) noperz, nobody minded coz ya don't do 'em raunchy, 's some folks tend to do. yers're always filled with a touch'f class. i used to've many water lilies, sadly only one survived livin' 'n a bucket fer nearly a year. aint sure which'un this'un 's, but 've my fingers crossed 'tis the color changer. 've 'bout 6 leaves that've reached the surface thus far. i'm anxiously awaitin' blossoms! big hugs 'n love, dear friend!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jun 16
No offense from me and I did enjoy the laugh....
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@Marilynda1225 I'm so happy about that - I know you could do with a laugh just now
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112878)
• El Paso, Texas
11 Aug 20
It's time to reread some funny limericks.
2 people like this
• Midland, Michigan
11 Jun 16
I found no offense in these, and they were quite fun indeed. Were these spur of the moment, or from the depths of your tome?
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
11 Jun 16
@MarshaMusselman I don't quite know what you mean about the 'depths of my tome', but initially I jot them down on the spur of the moment. Those are often very different from the end result though.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
11 Jun 16
@MarshaMusselman I knew that tome was a book, just couldn't quite see how it applied to me. Thanks for explaining.
2 people like this
• Midland, Michigan
11 Jun 16
@jaboUK I double checked the definition of 'tome' to be sure I had the right idea/word. It's related to a large book. I'm thinking of your collection of limericks whether they're in a book or your computer it would be a similar idea.
2 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
9 Jun 16
Worthy of the late great Victoria Wood!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
@WorDazza Wow - praise indeed - thanks Dazza
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
9 Jun 16
@jaboUK You're very welcome. WorDazza always speaks the truth.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
10 Jun 16
Delightful!!! You never cease to amaze me with your thoughts - lol, or you gift for limerick writing.
2 people like this
@rebelann (112878)
• El Paso, Texas
11 Aug 20
Something fun to reread.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@DianneN I'm so pleased that you like these - my body may be old, but my mind isn't
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
11 Jun 16
2 people like this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
10 Jun 16
I like the remote one.thanks for sharing
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@miniam Thanks, I was just being silly
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@miniam How true that is
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
10 Jun 16
@jaboUK Sometimes we need to be silly otherwise life will be too boring.
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
10 Jun 16
Poor hubby! His hopes went up, As he got ready to do his stuff. Sadly, it wasn’t to be, She just wanted the remote, you see So he went back to being a TV buff!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@responsiveme How nice to have another limerickist in the fold! Yours is great, thanks for entering into the spirit of things.
1 person likes this
• India
10 Jun 16
@jaboUK Thank you. I had a tough time with that last word. :) and finally managed with looking up rhyming words on the net.:)
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112878)
• El Paso, Texas
18 Sep 16
I see I neglected to mention how pretty your pond is, that is your pond isn't it? You have the loveliest garden
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112878)
• El Paso, Texas
18 Sep 16
Well, at least there are ponds around @jaboUK there must be a lot of frogs around it to keep the fly population in check ..... I would love to have frogs around here but the poor things don't like it dry and hot.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
18 Sep 16
@rebelann Yes, frogs like it here in England.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
18 Sep 16
@rebelann No, I don't have a pond. That was taken in a public park.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51193)
• Canada
9 Jun 16
You didn't offend me at all, its truthful and so very cute.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51193)
• Canada
9 Jun 16
@jaboUK Are you kidding me, I thought they were a riot, especially given my day, and running into a lady who has been married a lot longer then I have, now I know that the remote must be part of the secret to their wedded bliss-lol
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
@Juliaacv I read your post about that couple, so sweet.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
@Juliaacv Thank you Julia - I did think twice about posting these, so i'm glad you like them.
1 person likes this
@gr8nana6 (6614)
• Conyers, Georgia
9 Jun 16
Hahaha they were all funny, especially the first one. "looking for the remote". Don't worry you couldn't offend me if you tried, lol.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
@gr8nana6 Lol - that's good Maria!
2 people like this
@rebelann (112878)
• El Paso, Texas
11 Aug 20
It was one heck of a duezy though, I still had to laugh even though I read this the first time round.
2 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
11 Jun 16
What amusing little ditties At first she got out her bitties. She neednt have bothered her husband had hovered but fell and was smothered. No fun was had for these gitties!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
11 Jun 16
Yaay! A reply in kind - I do love it when that happens.. It's so good when I ignite the creativity of others, and your ditty is great. Much appreciated, thank you
@MarymargII (12422)
• Toronto, Ontario
11 Jun 16
Ha! these are a great laugh- no offence taken.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
12 Jun 16
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
11 Jun 16
@MarymargII Thanks - I'm happy that you were amused
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (12422)
• Toronto, Ontario
12 Jun 16
@jaboUK You really should compile them all somehow in a book :)
1 person likes this
• New Delhi, India
9 Jun 16
Very nice poem
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
@ModernDayWriter Thanks - kind of you to say so.