Suicide

@kevin1877uk (36988)
June 22, 2016 6:46pm CST
Suicide Yes. I know it’s a hard subject to talk about. No it, not me, it is my middle one who is currently 16, 17 in September. It’s been a hard year all round for him, they say teenage years are the hardest ones. Just over a year ago he said that he is gay which we all accepted, although I know he’s had a hard time with it. He’s even changed his name. About 3 months ago he tried to take his own life while taking a bath. We got in touch with various agents, but with being under the age of 18 little help is offered, what, YES, someone who is under the age of 18 could kill themselves and no help out there. It doesn’t make sense. I saw him on Monday evening after getting home from my interview and he seemed fine. Around 12:30am Tuesday morning I had a text message from me ex-wife saying that he wasn’t in a good space and was admitted to the hospital, late Tuesday afternoon was released. While in the hospital he said, he plans not to be here, come July 15th, I have just been on the phone to my ex-wife who has been telling me all of this for the past hour. While he was in the hospital they have referred him to an emergency psychiatric unit where my ex-wife is thinking they will keep him in the hospital until after July 15th to keep him safe. Sorry for writing this, I just needed to write it down.
22 people like this
22 responses
@paigea (36322)
• Canada
23 Jun 16
Sadly we have something similar in our family right now. One adult, one teen. It is heartbreaking and the help just doesn't seem to be there especially if they don't want help.
4 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
24 Jun 16
So sorry to hear this is also happening you too, hugs. I think he is wanting help, or so it seems, to be fair I'm lost with it all, I don't understand why he wants to take his life, only 16 and the rest of is life ahead of him. I wish you all the best with what happening there.
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
24 Jun 16
@paigea Yes they do and you would think they could get the help they so need and save lives.
2 people like this
@paigea (36322)
• Canada
24 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk It is so hard to understand. They really do need help.
3 people like this
@toniganzon (72277)
• Philippines
23 Jun 16
I'm so sorry to hear about this. Teenage boys at that age are experiencing identity crisis and it's this stage in life where they question a lot of things. Though he admitted to being gay, like you said he's having tough times. We don't know what's going on with our children when they are not in our house. WE don't know how other people treat them and the pains they have to go through. I hope that he will eventually be over whatever he is going through.
3 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
!8 months ago he seemed his normal self Christmas 2014, I flew back from the USA in April and he had changed so much. I have no idea what he does when he is out and about with friends. With being divorced I found been left out of the picture so to speak of what is happening, only getting to know at the last minute kind of thing. Same goes now I'm in Plymouth. I hope come Tuesday he does get the help he needs, I know it's a long way from now, but he does have a busy weekend, so hopefully they will occupy his mind for the time being. Thanks for the hugs, could really do with a hug.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (72277)
• Philippines
23 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk It''s difficult to be in that situation where you are left out of things like that. Let's hope for the best.
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
@toniganzon Thank you Toni, so do I.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (159850)
• United States
24 Jun 16
One of the great things about this site is that people listen to you when things like this happen.I hope that the emergency psychiatric hospital is of some help.
3 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
24 Jun 16
Thank you, so do I, it will be the first time some agency helped, you would it would be different.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
23 Jun 16
Hi mate, I understand the gut wrenching anguish you are feeling. My nephew ended his life some time ago and the event still haunts me. I thought I had helped him to change his mind but that was not the case. I don't understand why anyone would do this. I hope you get some understanding and I hope you can be at peace.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
23 Jun 16
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
@MsTickle Thank you
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, sorry to hear about you nephew, I don't understand why young people are wanting to take their life. I know it's hard growing up, so much harder now than when I was their age. I hope that somehow he gets the help he so needs.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64355)
• United Kingdom
23 Jun 16
What an awful thing for your family to have to deal with. Does July 15th have any special significance for him? I hope that he gets the help that he so obviously needs. My heart goes out to you Kevin.
3 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, yes the date is an interesting one, it's the date which we, my ex-wife and I were married.
3 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
@jaboUK He didn't seem to, been divorced over 10 years now. Not sure when he's chosen that date, though.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64355)
• United Kingdom
23 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk Did he take the divorce very badly? Sometimes kids are affected more than we realise.
3 people like this
@zap_81 (1019)
23 Jun 16
Oh I am really sorry to hear about your young one trying to take his life. I assume you and your ex wife must have had a discussion with him. You accepted him being gay so he is out of the closet. It is apparent that both of you love him. With this background what is the reason for him to think that he should end his life.?
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, we have chatted many times over the last year since he said that he was gay which we are all fine with. I'm shocked and lost to why he want's to end is young life when there is so much to look forward to. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@zap_81 (1019)
23 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk You are welcome. So why dont you ask him about his decision to end his life. I think if its not too much to ask you can give his name and people from this community (My lot community) can or should a drop a message to him.
2 people like this
@zap_81 (1019)
23 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk He is young and I guess if you could show him the better side of the world he might would want to stay. I really hope you could pursue him. All the best.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Jun 16
i tried to respond earlier but having pc issues here. that is so sad. maybe if you convince him someone else will not be able to go on without him. I don't know. tell him years ago this old lady tried it a few times and I would have missed the best thing that ever happened to me if I had succeeded. I met the love of my life and had the most wonderful 8 yrs. ever. don't tell him my love passed on but I was so glad I had not done away with my life. not sure if that helps I will pray for him
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you I will do, I guess we all go through dark times and one later we are thankful for not doing something. Thank you for your story, glad that you didn't, life is to beautiful.
1 person likes this
@divalounger (5916)
• United States
23 Jun 16
Oh Kevin--what a tough time for all of you. This is such a serious subject and no doubt he is going through a difficult time. Professional help and meds can really help. I will keep you and yours in my thoughts
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, yes it really is a touch time and i do hope he gets the professional help he so needs now, to keep him safe.
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
23 Jun 16
I am so sorry to hear that. I know it must be hard for him. And peer pressure is even harder to deal with. Keep him safe. He is your son and whatever has to be done needs to be. Being gay is not the end of the world. Not these days anymore. I hope he works through all this in his life and he comes out the other end happy and healthy. Again, sorry to hear this. You must be dying inside. I know O would be if it were one of my kids.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, that's why I needed to write about it, I'm in shock a little from what I heard this evening, I normally don't get to know everything that happens. Fingers crossed he gets the help he so needs right now.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
@inertia4 Thank you, it's been a hard year for many people. True no one needs this, it's too hard to deal with. I just hope come Tuesday he get that help, keep him in the hospital and given the treatment to help him.
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
23 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk I hope so too. I will keep him in mind and hope for the best also for you. You have been through a lot lately. This is something that no one needs. But be there for him no matter what.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
25 Jun 16
I am so sorry that you are going through this and sorry that your son feels this is the only option he has. One of my grandson's is bi-polar and it has made me familiar with how inadequate the healthcare system is with young people.
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
25 Jun 16
Son to heard about your grandson, yes there isn't that much help for the under 18 with those conditions which I find odd because once you turned 18 it's different which doesn't make any sense to me.
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (49928)
• United States
23 Jun 16
So sorry that you are going through this.
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, hopefully come next week he with have help.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
23 Jun 16
I hope he feels better soon. my thoughts are with you and your family
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, Wendy.
2 people like this
@KristenH (33373)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
23 Jun 16
Kevin, my heart's breaking for you. I'll pray for you and your son. I hope he gets the help he needs to recover.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, Kristen, it's been a tough 24 hours for me since learning of it all. He seems ok this evening, thanks, thanks for the hugs
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
25 Jun 16
@KristenH I hope so, Him and a friend went on the train to London this morning at 7am for the Pride event there.
1 person likes this
@KristenH (33373)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
25 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk Anytime my friend. I hope he's okay this weekend.
1 person likes this
@trivia79 (7828)
• El Segundo, California
23 Jun 16
i'm sorry to know that! is he okay now?
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, I hope he in a good space at the moment, he really needs to be.
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
25 Jun 16
@trivia79 I don't think so, he can stand up for himself, so I think bullying is out the question. I think it's down to his sexuality for than anything else.
2 people like this
@trivia79 (7828)
• El Segundo, California
24 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk i think he was bullied
2 people like this
• Philippines
24 Jun 16
He needs help, badly. I'm glad he was saved so that he can have another chance in life. Be grateful that he's still alive and in the hospital. well, no need to apologize this is why we have mylot in the first place.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Jun 16
hope he will come fine and appreciate you brought to discussion
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
I really don't know if he does look at my posts anymore, I know he once did.
@NJChicaa (118681)
• United States
22 Jun 16
I'm so sorry that he is going through this. I hope he is kept in the hospital. At least there he will get services to help him.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
I hope so too, he is currently out of hospital until next Tuesday, finger crossed they will keep him in and start to help him with all of this.
• Xian, China
22 Jun 16
It's really unlucky for a teenage aged 18. So, did the emergency psychiatric work?
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
That is next Tuesday, I hope it will, we need him to be alive.
1 person likes this
• Xian, China
23 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk We all need him to be alive. May God bless him.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
@transcendent Thank you, yes we do so much.
1 person likes this
@Kinnian03 (192)
23 Jun 16
My parents got divorced when i was 14 my dad disowned my 12 yr old youngest sister cause he thinks hes not hes child... so it was just me and my 13 yr old sister living in a new city with people we dont know but really hated us... i dont know if you can imagine what that feels like but for teenagers to deal with that and be badly mistreated by the relatives at the same time... made my sister wanna end her life.. this might seem cold but back then we were still religious lol so i told her.. " it is your life, your demons, the best i can do is always to be here for you.. but you gotta wanna keep living on your own will.... if you think youre the only one suffering and cant take it anymore *hands her a knife* just end it then..." ( i was pretty fu€ked in my own little way back then) hahaha, i also told her that taking your life might fu€k up that little chance you have to enter heaven and that theres a chance she might just burn in hell in the afterlife loool i was pretty morbid... my point is that scared her that also made her realize that shes not the only one having a hard time. The truth is we will do anything for our loved ones but we can never protect them always...specially from themselves, its always a different case with each person and not one thing only works... theres no guide on how to deal with this stuffs... but 1 thing does work... sincerely being there for them and making them realize that theyre not alone, they need someone they can connect too because they feel alone, they need loud strong voice to over shadow the dark thoughts in their head. Youre hes father.... your voice will reach him, just let him know like truly let him know while you look into hes eyes that he is not alone. Also ask him what he loves to do may it be writing .. drawing...singing dancing..etc.. and divert hes attention to that.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
@Kinnian03 Let's hope so that it's a dark period in his life, and that he comes out of it a strong person.
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
Thank you, I'm shocked and lost with it all. He loves many things, He was in the US 3 weeks ago because he sings and is part of the Mayflower 400 project over in Boston/Plymouth USA. He is very much into fashion and does have a bright future in front of him. He does have a busy weekend with Pride in London, hopefully, that will occupy his mind and get him to Tuesday. Thank you for your story of yo and your sister.
1 person likes this
23 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk he seems awesome.. maybe its just one of those dark moments of hes life, i hope he can confine to a friend what he really feels.. that would really help. And hang in there :D be strong for him.
1 person likes this
23 Jun 16
I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to your son... Is he doing ok right now?
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
He seems to be steady at the moment, so fingers crossed he will make it to Tuesday.
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jun 16
@Antonius25 Yes better than he was the other night but that can all change in a moment.
23 Jun 16
@kevin1877uk Glad to hear that he is doing better.
1 person likes this