There's Always Something...
@IvySaysHi (4467)
United States
June 23, 2016 3:07pm CST
Well the planning of this wedding has officially taken its worst toll on me with stress. I was talking to my mom on the phone about it and about how she will be getting here and then leaving and how many people she planned on bringing. Out of no where she decided to invite my step dad's supervisor and I have no idea why other than he could provide their ride home. She won't even be able to stay the whole night of my wedding because my little sister has extracurricular activities planned that will be getting her a scholarship and I completely understand the importance of that. I told my mom that if she wanted to not come instead so she isn't rushing to get her to the planned event in time it was fine. She refused that option.
While telling me about how stressed her and my stepdad are trying to plan on how to make things go she said that they were saying that they didn't know why I had to plan the wedding for so soon. Now I just feel like everyone is all upset and it is my fault, but it hurts to know that my wedding seems to be more of a nuisance to them then a happy occasion. So now I have to rethink and replan how everything is supposed to go. It is stressing me out to the point where I want to cry. I didn't want to make my mom feel bad by telling her how crappy she is making me feel for wanting to get married when I do.
Do I have a right to even be upset about it?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
23 Jun 16
Sounds like she is the issue not you. Why should you cater to her needs and wants?She should be happy.Sounds like she clearly has her favourite child.
1 person likes this
@IvySaysHi (4467)
• United States
23 Jun 16
Well my youngest sister has a lot of opportunities going for her especially since she was able to get into a good high school and I am not upset at all with her doing things that will definitely help her future. What sucks is that she didn't get the schedules for these extracurriculars until long after we set a date in stone
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
23 Jun 16
@IvySaysHi Exactly, she can simple say to them she has other obligations or she could go and not depend on your parents. Just seems they don't see this as being any form of importance.
1 person likes this
@IvySaysHi (4467)
• United States
23 Jun 16
@ricki_911 they do, the people who run the activity wont let her miss it or else she will lose her scholarship. I just wish they didn't make it seem like it is my fault they have to scramble to do what they need to
@Becky_25 (31)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 16
Hey girl,
Firstly, congratulations on your engagement and your future marriage :) How exciting!
Secondly, I just got proposed to and I am terrified of the "wedding politics" that are heading my way. Listen, at the end of the day this is about you and your future husband, no one else. You are telling everyone your plans in advance, people who love you should work around you, not the other way around. If your sister has commitments, that's totally important and that's life, but this shouldn't become as big of an issue than it needs to be, and quite frankly, those around you should be helping to resolve the situation and not making it worse. You are not a bad person, you are not a bad bride and you do have a right to get upset if you feel you aren't being listened to an supported.
It sounds like you and your mum just need to have a calm discussion about this and tell her how much it would mean for her to be there and to help you, guide you. Has she been married? If so, she understands the stress of it all and should be told that you need her support.
If you ever need to chat, i'm here. x
@IvySaysHi (4467)
• United States
24 Jun 16
Thank you so much. She has not had to plan a wedding before. She is stressed out because she is trying to figure out how to do this and plan around my wedding, but it just really did hurt hearing that they blame all of this stuff on me for having my wedding soon. it really sucks because I had my date planned out before they even told my sister about the extracurricular commitment and when they should happen.
@Becky_25 (31)
• United Kingdom
24 Jun 16
@IvySaysHi No worries!
So this is all new to her as well! Maybe she didn't think to plan ahead and she's actually angry at herself for making the situation harder than it needed to be! I really think you did the right thing in expressing yourself and letting her know that this is meant to be a time of happiness rather than stress. If she still gives you grief or makes you feel bad, just be calm and tell her again that you gave her notice and either she will need to sort it out herself or you can support her with it but in return she remains positive when doing so.
