Screaming for attention
@CS09nxkb16 (24)
June 23, 2016 10:16pm CST
Alright I Am going to get personal here. My boyfriend and I just moved in together 3 months ago after dating for 3 years plus on and off before that even too. He swore up and down that we would only be closer after moving in so he kept pushing for us to move in together. Now that we have I feel farther and farther apart. All he does is go to work and then anytime he's home he's either on Netflix the entire time or he's out in his garage working on one project to the next. There's hardly any talking between us. There's no cuddling or even intimacy. We really don't sleep together much either. He doesn't come to bed until extremely late at night sometimes it's even not till the morning all because he will stay up watching Netflix in the living room and fall asleep out there.
I know this sounds petty but I've even stopped talking to him for the most part all together just to see if he even notices me and it's already been a week like this and he hasn't even noticed or said anything. Idk what to do. He still kisses me every time he's leaving or right when he gets home. And he still calls me love bug but there's no attention. We don't do anything together. I know we live together so that should be enough time together but we can literally be in the same room and never even glance at each other. It keeps making me regret moving in. At least when we didn't live together he had to consciously come see me and pay attention. Now there's nothing and I don't know what to do.
6 people like this
9 responses
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
24 Jun 16
Hi, I believe that moving together is actually a big step in a relationship. Personally I think that a guy will not ask you to move in together if he is not serious or if he is not comfortable with you. I believe that he asked you this because he really wanted to be serious with you and take your relationship to the next level. I think that you and your guy is still adjusting to being together in the same house. I think that he might not also know how to treat you now that you are living together. It could also be because your guy is too comfortable with you that he is able to be himself with you.
Based on my experience the best way is to have a talk with him. Tell him how you feel. You and your guy can only adjust properly if there is communication between the two of you. I believe that once he understands that you actually feel lonely without his attention he will give you the attention that you needed.
Some guys would think that since you live together and see each other it would be enough. Just talk to your guy and everything will be fine. He wouldn't ask you to move in together if he didn't love you or if he thought that this would not work for both of you.
:)
2 people like this
@MGjhaud (23240)
• Philippines
24 Jun 16
Why not go on a short trip. Try to do things together. If he watches Netflix, join in and cuddle. Go to the grocery together on weekends and decide what to buy and cook. If he doesnt want to do it then i guess you guys need to talk about it.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (179715)
• United States
24 Jun 16
.Well I guess you can try to behave differently for different results. Find out how he feels Talk about what is acceptable and unacceptable to you, and how you love him...but it seems like you are roommates instead of boyfirend and girlfriend. Honestly, it sounds like you are a couple that has been married 30 years or something.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
24 Jun 16
sure don't sound like a healthy relationship :( if'n he'll not visit with ya 'bout what's troublin' him, perhaps ya ought to seek counselin' yerself.
1 person likes this
@Marchy (99)
•
24 Jun 16
I feel you. There are times that my husband give much more of his time with his motorcycle than us and in his free time he play basketball. I tried to talk to him about it and it feels good that I told him my feeling about it and he understands how it feels.
1 person likes this
@Katlynn (366)
• United States
7 Jul 16
Chances are your boyfriend is happy, but has gotten a bit too comfortable. He feels comfortable enough with you that he goes along his routine without thought of how it is affecting you. I suggest calmly letting him know you distant you feel. Dating someone is very different than living with someone. When you live with someone, you see habits and routines - some that you will be ok with and some will be objectionable. For example, the guy or girl that is impeccably dressed on a date might be a slob at home. The hardworking person at their job, might be lazy as can be at home. It's about knowing each other's expectations and meeting in the middle.
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
24 Jun 16
is it because you are not loving what he is doing that is why maybe he thinks you dont like it. I mean sometimes we need to at least mix in together to their likes to show them that we love them. That whatever he does we make sure we are there to support them. If he watch netflix join jim and pampered him the way he likes it.
@CS09nxkb16 (24)
•
24 Jun 16
He doesn't make it easy to join in. ...he watches it most of the time from his cell phone and he sits it the recliner which really only fits him. ...
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
24 Jun 16
@CS09nxkb16 How about talk to him. You know the kind and usual way you converse with him. Ask him anything about the movies he watched or his work. Make a conversation that takes his interest.
@Shreyashi (171)
•
24 Jun 16
Dear,
I realized as it is quite the same story here, but I must say that they are preoccupied with work and that is his priority too & if you talk about it, he will reply- I am working and not able to give you time as "I am doing it for our future" and then you will be left with no answers.
I will suggest you to keep yourself busy too, work and get involved into online stuffs which keep you busy. Wait till he notices that You don't look the same as when he met you on the first day. Keep your fingers crossed when he will ask you for a dinner date. Maintain yourself, try to look good and happy. He should not find you idle.
