Lending?

@Inlemay (17713)
South Africa
July 11, 2016 11:52am CST
What are your sincere reactions to lending money to a distant family member? I know my dads advice was always 'never'! "Earnied money brings you security, borrowed money gets you slavery". ~ Amit Kalantri
15 people like this
20 responses
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Jul 16
my dad taught me never a borrower or lender be and the few tunes Ilent money I never did get repaid so its not worth it
3 people like this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
well already I am sorry that we agreed to lend them money
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
11 Jul 16
you are better off giving them what you can afford to never see again.
2 people like this
• Centralia, Missouri
13 Jul 16
@Inlemay I dont know if I would be bothered or not, it would entirely depend on why and when and who. If this was someone always responsible who never asked, but got hit with a bunch of stuff, ok, life happens. But if this was someone with their hand out always and lazy, eh....
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
14 Jul 16
@Jessicalynnt well, i dont know about lazy but some people are expectant of assistance always
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
I have pretty much told my hubby to kiss it goodbye! But I am annoyed at their audacity to even ask
1 person likes this
• India
11 Jul 16
Yes I agree with that. Don't borrow or lend money which is high risk today
2 people like this
• India
12 Jul 16
@Inlemay what else to do. we have to say.
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
the risk is high, but how does one say no?
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
11 Jul 16
They do say that the quickest way to lose a friend is to lend them money. If people are really in need for a genuine cause I would rather give them the money.
2 people like this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
That might just be the case, I am looking at this family member is a whole different light at the moment and I feel she has totally abused my hubby's good nature. I do the finances - but i dont earn the bread - so it was his decision in the end.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 16
i agree with yer dad. i was always told "neither a lender nor borrower be".
2 people like this
• United States
12 Jul 16
@Inlemay sadly, ya can't :( some're jest spoilt to the notion that all they need to do's ask'n they shall receive... i call't 'tough love' myself. not always 'ppreciated by the other party, but sometimes they see the 'light' down the road'n thank ya.
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
13 Jul 16
@crazyhorseladycx you hit the nail on the head there - and I need to teach my hubby some tough love too
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
but how does one explain that to someone who doesnt care ?
1 person likes this
@Ceerios (4698)
• Goodfellow, Texas
11 Jul 16
@Inlemay - (1) I really like the photograph of the vintage and abandoned old car, and (2) If I can help someone really in need of help, one thing or another, I follow the example of one of my neighbors who loaned me the use of some equipment one time. "Do something nice for someone else," is what he charged for the loan.
2 people like this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
you mean he asked you to pay it forward - that I have no problem with and think its a great idea. Often i lend out my wheelbarrow and garden tools, as well as my jigsaw but never have we been asked for such a lump sum of money. Do you think someone who you only see about 3 times in a decade is going to pay it forward with a large sum of money that they didnt have in the first place? Not sure if that will happen, but I shall try keep the faith.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
11 Jul 16
It would all depend on the relative and the amount.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
12 Jul 16
@Inlemay I have absolutely no idea. The word was intended to be "amount" but android appears to have changed it to something I have never even encountered before.
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
the ani? what is that? The relative is distant and one we only see every other year
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
13 Jul 16
@Asylum good to know android is not always that clever!
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
11 Jul 16
I learned my lesson on lending money to a newphew who was so adamant about paying it back (lip service) I never saw a penny of it and from then on I would not lend money to anyone.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
12 Jul 16
@Inlemay Yep Lip Service just like the politicians when they talk you know all it is Lip Service. lol
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
13 Jul 16
@Marcyaz I decided to make a Lip Service post out of it!
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
I love that phrase - Lip Service, since we have lent the money, we have had a lot of lip service already - all talk and no action.
@nonersays (3335)
• United States
11 Jul 16
I am likely to lend money to a family member I'm close to. A "distant" relatve is different though. I won't know whether to expect it back or not. I'm not above giving charity if I have the money to spare. If family, no matter how distant is bad off and needs help I am willing to help them without expecting it back. But ONLY if I have the cash to spare.
2 people like this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
I always say if the money is spare and we have plenty - but we have enough, nothing more than coping, so we are not flush with money to just give or lend
• United States
11 Jul 16
My response is never also!
2 people like this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
thank you for your thoughts
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jul 16
Lending money is never a good idea unless you lend it without any expectations of getting it back.
2 people like this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
those are my thoughts too
1 person likes this
@just4him (317242)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
11 Jul 16
I agree with your dad. Never. Solomon said much the same thing in Proverbs.
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
Ah ha - the wise old Solomon - I forgot about his advice. My dad was a wise old man too.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317242)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Jul 16
@Inlemay Fathers always tend to be, don't they. My father imparted some once in a while.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
11 Jul 16
I must admit I don't like lending money to friends or family - it makes me uncomfortable and too often ends in tears/messed up relationships
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
I absolutely hate it - if I give it then I GIVE it, but hate to be asked to lend it with many promises inbetween
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
12 Jul 16
I don't like to lend money , it is better to give if I can. I have never got back 'lent' money. What about you?
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
well I have always given it away to people that I have seen being needy, but I have never lent nor been asked to lend, so this first time is posing to be quite a thing for me
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
12 Jul 16
If it's a close family member, then I'll help out, if and when I can. But not to distant relatives.
1 person likes this
@sadeneni (117)
• India
27 Jul 16
You can lent money to the people who are very close and you are convenient with that person. Where there is a business, we only talk about business keeping friendship or relation aside.You can lent to those kind of people.If you are so sensitive and your relation gets hurt easily for silly thing, its better not to lent them. Thats what i do.
1 person likes this
• Summertown, Tennessee
18 Jul 16
I was told never to give anyone any money you couldn't afford to give as a gift. Don't expect repayment, so you're surprised if it happens, and not disappointed when it doesn't. That's what we've lived by, and it's worked great for us.
@marlina (154131)
• Canada
11 Jul 16
Your Dad is 100% right!
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
I believe he was - now just to teach my hubby those values
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
11 Jul 16
Well I think we always follow our dads advice and his advice was 'Neither a borrower nor a lender be'. Although I have lent some people money I would never ask to borrow but then I have been fortunate I guess. I have heard of some horrible stories of people who have ended up in fights over money even resulting in court action so I guess follow your dads advice. I think it is a different kettle of fish when it is your own kids as you would not want them to suffer but a distant relative would depend how distant they were and if they were really in dire straights.
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
I always think, if one cannot get out of the trouble on ones own - financial I mean, how will one get out of the lending backwards living?
1 person likes this
• West Haven, Connecticut
11 Jul 16
I dont do that anymore, its never good buissness when lending money to relatives or friends!
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
12 Jul 16
Never good business is a good way of putting it - thanks for your comment too