How do I let him down easy?
By Ida Bassford
@Simly_Me (51)
July 13, 2016 9:23pm CST
My ex recently called me, which wasn't very surprising. We remained friends after I ended our 7 year relationship. He's a good guy and a very hard worker but he has a really bad drinking problem and that caused our relationship to come to an end. In spite of that we have remained friends over the years. It has been just shy of 6 years since we broke up.
When he called, I figured it was just the normal "how are you doing" call. I was so very wrong! He called me to tell me he cut back on drinking. He is only drinking 5 beers a day now. He said he wants to quit and I was surprised and happy for him, until he told me why he wants to quit. He said he wants to quit because he wants to get back with me. I didn't know what to say because that was the last thing I expected to hear. I didn't respond to that but redirected the conversation back to his drinking. He's telling me this while he's sitting there drinking! I don't want to hurt his feelings and tell him I don't want to be in a relationship with him but I don't want him thinking he has a chance either. How do I let him down easy?
2 people like this
2 responses
@GardenGerty (161216)
• United States
15 Jul 16
He needs to quit drinking for himself, not for the hope of having you. He will not be successful unless it is something from the inside of him. I like the suggestion that you tell him you need him to be your friend. I hope you do not feel responsible for him after all these years although that is a hard habit to break.
1 person likes this
@Simly_Me (51)
•
15 Jul 16
I told him the same thing, that he will not stop drinking unless he's doing it for himself. I know he would only try to stop drinking in hopes of getting me back because we went this route years ago and it obviously didn't end well. Unfortunately it seems everyone around me tries to make me feel responsible for them and their actions when I don't do whatever it is they want from me. This is why I am alone 99% of the time, no one wants to bother with me unless it benefits them.
