Argue Argue Argue! How well do you lose an argument?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (220097)
Walnut Creek, California
July 14, 2016 1:17pm CST
I had a ridiculous argument with a friend last night. As we were sitting on my balcony at about 10 PM, I pointed out the constellation Scorpio, directly to the South of us. I also pointed out Mars, which is quite near Scorpio right now. That's significant because one of the most notable stars in Scorpio is a red star called Antares, which basically means "against Mars." It's rare that Antares and rival Mars are only a few degrees from each other.
My friend "corrected me" and told me that the constellation I was looking at was Orion, not Scorpio. I explained that Orion is a Winter constellation, and that it's not visible during the Summer months. I told him how my horse and I had been watching Scorpio herald the coming of Summer, and Orion heralding the coming of Winter, for more than 20 years.
I then went to the internet and found some information that was new to me. In ancient mythology, Scorpio had been sent to kill the great warrior Orion, and that is why the Gods placed them on opposite sides of the sky. When one sets, the other rises.
My friend told me that he got an "A" in Astronomy, and had studied Ptolemy extensively, and that he was therefore right. I said, "Losing an argument is not a sign of weakness. We both learned from the experience." He wouldn't have it and left angry.
This person is "known" among his older (more long-term) friends for boldly stating things that are dead wrong. Last night I learned a bit more about why that's the case. Do you have friends who can't "lose" an argument? How do you respond when you "lose" an argument? If it's something like "Who is a better guitarist, Jimi Hendrix or BB King?" there is no "winner," as it's subjective. But if someone says, "The Royals defeated the Giants in the 2014 World Series," they are wrong. I try to say, "Thanks--we both learned from this discussion" whether I win or lose.
Do you think the inability to admit one is wrong inhibits learning? I do.
Drawing is by Santa Barbara artist, Mark Lozano
20 people like this
20 responses
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
15 Jul 16
We have an entire political party that is guilty of this.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (341752)
• Rockingham, Australia
15 Jul 16
@TheHorse We have a friend who categorically states this, that and the other but even when proven wrong it never seems to stop her the next time. I don't like it in a friend as it means you can never trust what she says - I would trust her as in honesty, etc but she might tell you a price which is just totally wrong or say a restaurant is open all week when it isn't so you continually have to check any information she gives you. At the time she'll swear it's correct.
2 people like this
@Genipher (5405)
• United States
14 Jul 16
I met a particular young man like that. He'd say the most off-the-wall things...and no facts to back up his claims.
I'll freely admit when I'm wrong. I've said things before, gone to research, and discovered I misspoke. Then I have to tuck my tail between my legs and apologize.
3 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
15 Jul 16
I know too many men like this, once I had a male colleague admitting to me "I was not wrong" but refuse to admit I was right and he was wrong. it was hilarious.
I have no problem admitting I got something wrong. Though I seem to have a good way to persuade people I was right, even though I wasn't... I guess I am just good at BSing??? hahha
2 people like this
@TheHorse (220097)
• Walnut Creek, California
15 Jul 16
What's the best way to persuade someone that you were right, even when you were wrong? My friend can't give it up. Today, he's telling me that Orion is a few degrees higher in the sky than Scorpio, so they're not really "opposite." Sigh.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
15 Jul 16
@TheHorse good God! he needs to emotionally get over that one!
Logic is the key to any persuasive argument
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
15 Jul 16
some people feel as though being right is winning, when a discussion, isnt a contest, and he wouldnt have lost face to have forgotten a few things!
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
16 Jul 16
@TheHorse lol, I would have been snickering in my head.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220097)
• Walnut Creek, California
16 Jul 16
@Jessicalynnt He's still sending emails trying to justify his mistake. Sigh.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Jul 16
When someone insists I don't know what I'm talking about, I will go to the Internet and look up the information. If I have been misinformed, I will admit it and yes, have learned something in the process. However, I have this tendency to keep my mouth shut unless I do know what I'm talking about, so I'm generally right. Not always. But most of the time.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (220097)
• Walnut Creek, California
14 Jul 16
@just4him Heh heh. I'm glad you got the reference! He's even a part of my college teaching persona. Can you see how playing confused, but also wise, would get the students to talk? I don't wear a trench coat or have a wandering eye, though.
3 people like this
@cindiowens (5120)
• North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
15 Jul 16
It does inhibit learning. I however, am never wrong. Once I thought I was, but I was just Mistaken.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100535)
• India
15 Jul 16
He knows he is wrong. His memory is possibly failing him and the fact that he has A in astronomy is not helping because it is expected of him. You have gentle way of saying it...I wouldn't bother unless it affects my budget or affects my peace of mind or is hurting anybody else emotionally, financially, or physically.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
14 Jul 16
I agree completely. I hate to be proven wrong, but it happens sometimes and I learn something new.
2 people like this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
15 Jul 16
I don't like being wrong, but being proven wrong is something else. I don't mind that at all, because I prefer to know the truth.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
15 Jul 16
I'm surprised between my sister and I, one of us is still living @TheHorse . Especially if the topics are politics and animals. Oye vay!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220097)
• Walnut Creek, California
16 Jul 16
@nanette64 I haven't known that many Rotweilers and Dobermans. My sense is that pit bulls are very "sensitive" and become like their handlers.
2 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
16 Jul 16
@TheHorse Oh you bad boy (lambies). My sister believes that all Pit Bulls, Rotweilers and Dobermans are BORN killers. I told her that if that was the case, that my Pit Bull Zeus would have already taken her out. That was a 3-hour argument all by itself.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
14 Jul 16
You just can't tell some people anything, even when you're right.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
14 Jul 16
@TheHorse - I have no idea, but there are a lot of them out there.
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
15 Jul 16
Yes, I do too.
And it is important that I keep on learning in order to keep on teaching.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137471)
• United States
16 Jul 16
Uhm... mistakes can happen to anyone... If I am wrong, I apologize...
I don't become friends with someone who can't accept that they can make a mistake.
Something like that normally crops up pretty early as people are getting to know each other. I just shut up and move on when it happens.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
14 Jul 16
i like yer response :) seems that friend'f yers ('n many others...) ne'er learnt that the world's not 'bout always bein' right. 'tis ok to not know all ('r recall't correctly).
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41692)
• United States
14 Jul 16
How are you going to to learn something new if you're determined to be right all the time?
1 person likes this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
15 Jul 16
This reminds me of a discussion with Anja in which I mentioned facts vs. opinions. It's silly to get mad when you get the facts wrong. It's part of being human.
It's also a waste of time trying to convince people to change their opinions, unless that it an absolute necessity. (Like when you are making a choice about something to do, or where to go together.) People rarely change their opinions, especially those who ignore facts.
@bloosses (20)
•
16 Jul 16
when I sometimes argue with my friends beacause she always breaks her word,I swear I never talk to her,but in the end,I always talk to her at the first,and anyway,I don't want to lose my firend.and when a person aruges with me face to face,I don't know what to say,if the person says fiercely,tears will out of my eyes,I just cry,cry and cry...
