I have a new girlfriend!
By The Horse
@TheHorse (218943)
Walnut Creek, California
July 22, 2016 10:28am CST
When men, after a couple of drinks, describe what caused their break-up with their former girlfriend, they'll often use the word "crazy." "I never knew what kind if mood she'd be in when I got home. I felt like I was walking on eggshells."
What I like about my new girlfriend is that she's predictable. I know she'll be in the same spot as last time, right when the sun goes down. She's not an exhibitionist, but she's not afraid to be seen as she is, if you know what I mean.
I only see her when I go to my friend's house to practice music. I can tell she likes me, because she doesn't scurry away when I watch her unless I move really fast. I refuse to be discouraged by the withering carcasses of what I assume to be former lovers, hanging in decaying webs nearby.
Wish me luck! (Sorry I couldn't get a better picture. This was taken at night with a flash from about 8 inches away.)
31 people like this
34 responses
@TheHorse (218943)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jul 16
@puddleglum Ah, good advice. I used to be related to some Muffets. But they stopped by once for tea and I told them I didn't have any blooming tuffets and didn't even know what one was. They said I was rude and disowned me.
4 people like this
@puddleglum (1380)
• United States
22 Jul 16
@TheHorse Ooh. Scandalous! I wish you the best, though. Just exercise caution if you introduce her to your family--especially if you have any relatives named Muffet.
3 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
23 Jul 16
@TheHorse well, figurin' ya to be the perfect gentleman, i'd say 't least several months :)
3 people like this
@TheHorse (218943)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Jul 16
@crazyhorseladycx I can deal with that. Any hints on how to treat such a beauty? She's a bit shy, but confident at the same time.
2 people like this
@Marilynda1225 (82802)
• United States
22 Jul 16
Hope you don't get caught in her web
5 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
22 Jul 16
She looks very capable of fending for herself too, so won't be to "clingy."
6 people like this
@TheHorse (218943)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jul 16
@LadyDuck, I know you want what's best for me, but she is so..alluring. Perhaps just one more date? By the way, I know this is "out of left field," but do you speak French? If I wrote "peut etre" instead of "perhaps," would it be just "peut etre"? Or "peut etre que"?
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218943)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Jul 16
@LadyDuck Merci! Peut être (I copied and pasted your little hat; I knew it belonged there but forgot what it is called) I will spend enough time in France, or the French part of Switzerland, to really learn the language. I was great in math and science, but terrorized my French teacher in high school. Il est triste et je m'excuse
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218943)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jul 16
@pgntwo OK, I admit it. I'm not looking for a long-term relationship here. Of course, those withering males, now still and wind-blown, may have been thinking the same thing. Glad I don't reveal my true identity here. She may be on the internet when she scurries into her corner.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (218943)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jul 16
@Bellatricks Hmm. It can't be my money. She doesn't know about money. Could it be my delicious juicy guts? She's very quiet.
2 people like this
@The_Bong_Woman (850)
•
23 Jul 16
Love is in the air... good luck with her buddy!
3 people like this
@TheHorse (218943)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Jul 16
@The_Bong_Woman I worry about her "web of love." I guess I'm also shy. I wanted to ask her exes about her. But they were...not available.
2 people like this
@The_Bong_Woman (850)
•
23 Jul 16
@TheHorse Oh no it's fine! I presume she's so pretty that even the blurriness of the snap cannot hide it. I understand your insecurity, but in matters of the heart, there's NO playing "safe" you know. In order to impress her, you must dangle yourself off the cliff; even if it means a strangulating "web" of love as the only means of lifeline.
3 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
23 Jul 16
And here I thought a spider was a 'speeder' @TheHorse . I've got Granddaddy's (which are my friends) and then there's the itty-bitty, white ones (that will leave a welt the size of a watermelon); then there's the Black Widow's (which are definitely not my friends).
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218943)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Jul 16
@nanette64 What do they call them where you live?
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
24 Jul 16
@TheHorse And you don't want to either; the little buggers.
1 person likes this
