Polygyny
By sishy7
@sishy7 (27167)
Australia
July 25, 2016 2:21am CST
# 30
Ah, I don't usually post 'heavy' topic such this... The subject just happened to come up in some conversations I had with offline friends recently and for some reasons it stuck in my mind so I thought I'd just 'discuss' it on here...
We know polygyny is the more common form of polygamy where a man is married to several women at the same time. Aside of it being legal or illegal, permitted religiously or not, I think it is safe to say that most women would not be happy with such situation.
But my friends and I were talking about how under some circumstances it may happen... 
One example - it is based on the request of the first wife. The wife has illness or unable to have children and she wants her husband to marry another woman who can bear children for him.
Another example - the other woman insists to be married to the man even if he already has a wife. So she does not mind being a second wife and sharing him with another woman provided the first wife does not mind either, of course... 
Yet more example - based on unavoidable compassion. Both the man and woman may not want it to happen, but then they are faced with a situation where another woman is in a very bad and desperate circumstance where marrying her could bring her back to a better place.
I heard one reason this practice is also unavoidable where there is a lower male to female ratio. Naturally I want to keep my man to myself, and yeah, I don't know what I'd do if I'm ever faced with circumstances forcing me to be co-wives to my husband...
One example - it is based on the request of the first wife. The wife has illness or unable to have children and she wants her husband to marry another woman who can bear children for him.
Another example - the other woman insists to be married to the man even if he already has a wife. So she does not mind being a second wife and sharing him with another woman provided the first wife does not mind either, of course...
Yet more example - based on unavoidable compassion. Both the man and woman may not want it to happen, but then they are faced with a situation where another woman is in a very bad and desperate circumstance where marrying her could bring her back to a better place.
I heard one reason this practice is also unavoidable where there is a lower male to female ratio. Naturally I want to keep my man to myself, and yeah, I don't know what I'd do if I'm ever faced with circumstances forcing me to be co-wives to my husband...33 people like this
29 responses
@Marilynda1225 (82578)
• United States
25 Jul 16
Even if it was legal I wouldn't want to share my man with another wife. I'd rather be alone
7 people like this
@vandana7 (100119)
• India
1 Aug 16
What if the man is sickly and still proposes to a girl, who happens to be his good friend and may be even obliged to him for help in the past? Would that not be selfish too? Would the girl then be allowed to take on another partner, without raising eyebrows?
In the past, it became necessary as people were constantly attacking or being attacked. That left many women widows, and they needed providers. But now, if a woman cares, she may still consider herself to belong to that person, but move out as it would help to keep that love and respect alive. Who knows, she might be better off and find somebody else and fall in love with the person.
I do not agree with not having children being a good reason for marrying a girl. Adoption is a great way if love exists between the couple.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100119)
• India
1 Aug 16
@sishy7 .. It is unfair to be generous to another person by hurting a loved one. That is mean to say the least. Would the partner allow similar liberties to the woman...I mean, if the husband felt sorry for somebody and took her in as wife, would he be ok if the wife felt sorry for another man, and took him in as second husband? Regressive....it is better to divorce rather than hurt if we as a society are to move forward.
As to adoption...I would stop those fertility clinics at once! On the one hand, the world is grappling with the prospect of providing food for population in future, and on the other hand these fertility clinics are putting a spoke in adoption systems.
Who benefits? The physicians. Even surrogates are exploited like some productive machine. It is really bad to treat women like some factory. I wonder why it is not thought of like that by women liberation organizations.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
1 Aug 16
@vandana7 I always think such arrangement would only lead to a lot of heart aches and problems... Again, it is very rare that polygamy would work all around... Maybe one case where it would work is when the wife herself who encourages the husband to get another wife for one reason of other...
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
1 Aug 16
Yeah, it seems polyandry (one woman marries more than one man at the same time) is considered even more unacceptable than polygyny...
I agree how women today are more independent than the past. It's probably just very rare cases where an already married man would encounter a desperate woman in need of a provider husband and him taking on another wife in such situation would be considered a generous act of helping another human being...
I also agree about adoption. It's just in some cultures, having an own child is such a big deal in order to preserve the family name or blood line. And if such family finds out it's the wife who has problems having children, they seem to think the husband should have the option to marry another woman who can give him children...
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137249)
• United States
29 Jul 16
How in the world did you and your offline acquaintances get onto this topic in the first place, sishy? Was it an interesting conversation?
I can see how it could be fun for the guy in the situation, but I can also see the wives ganging up on the husband in many circumstances that can arise during a marriage, too. (I would pass on being involved in that type of marriage, just for that last reason, if for no other!)
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137249)
• United States
31 Jul 16
@sishy7 Hmmm... I wonder how long they will all live happily under one roof? LOL! The Chinese symbol for peace is a woman under a roof. The symbol for misery is two women under one roof!
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
27 Jul 16
Nope, not for me. This is one case where two are not better than one.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
27 Jul 16
@sishy7 No, I think God had it right the first time when he made Adam and Eve.
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
25 Jul 16
I think this is one of those things if those in it dont care, I dont care either. I wouldnt want it, but that's me. They are consenting adults, (or should HAVE to be at least), so whatever works.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
27 Jul 16
@Jessicalynnt Exactly... I told my husband even IF, say, I ever allow him to have another wife, the burden will be on him so much financially, emotionally, physically, and everything else... I listed a looong list of potential problems for such arrangement that I think he abandoned the idea altogether...
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
27 Jul 16
@sishy7 I'm not entirely sure the one I have now is working, can barely handle what I have, can't imagine having other wives or other husbands
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
1 Aug 16
maybe some cultures practice this like Muslims
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
5 Aug 16
@sishy7 it is in the culture of the Muslims to have 4 wives. but i also heard some men who are not Muslims have more than 1 wife.
1 person likes this
@MissNikki (5237)
• Maple Ridge, British Columbia
6 Aug 16
@ridingbet None of the Muslims I have met here in Canada have 4 wives or would even consider it - and the muslim girls I know wouldn't be okay with their husbands having multiple wives either. Also, it's spelled polygamy***. Sorry, just had to point that out. 
2 people like this
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
6 Aug 16
And then a very rare case where there are two women that are bisexual and want to stay together yet bring a man into their relationship. Finding the lucky guy (or victim) to fulfill that might be a challenge. Sounds like a plot for a book. :P
1 person likes this
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
6 Aug 16
@sishy7 You'd have to imagine that these women want the men more as play things than actual husbands though. :D
1 person likes this
@stifler0207 (514)
• New Delhi, India
31 Jul 16
I am not in a favour of this bullshit. Stick to one man is best. Nobody likes to share his love even me.
1 person likes this
