I have to be a selfish person does not? / myLot

Vietnam

July 27, 2016 7:58am CST

I married 5 years ago. During this time, we wholeheartedly work and send money back home to help my husband's family. Because his family was poor and in debt. Moreover, marriage of his sister is not well, we also have to help them. I know that my husband hides me to help them more than what I know. At first I did not think much. But now, after over a period of 5 years and my husband's family was also quite okay, I want him to specialist care of our little family. I want us to start planning to buy our own house. He also wanted that but he still worried about his family. Should I talk to him decisively on this issue it?

3 people like this

4 responses

Sky

@skysnap (20153)

•

27 Jul 16

Hmm, tricky situation it seems.

1 person likes this

Polang

@tkonlinevn (6438)

• Vietnam

27 Jul 16

Yes, and I would like to have many advice from your experience...

Sky

@skysnap (20153)

•

27 Jul 16

@tkonlinevn I think your focus of getting own house is right on track.

1 person likes this

Polang

@tkonlinevn (6438)

• Vietnam

27 Jul 16

@skysnap Thank you for your comments. We still help my husband's family, of course. But this will be less than before. I know that they won't be happy. But I can't live to only care them, right?

Marchy

@Marchy (99)

•

27 Jul 16

I think I can relate a little. My husband's parents pass away and all of her sister's have their own family but still asking for financial help from us knowing that they have more income than us. I talk to my husband that we must only give them the help if they really deserve it. Helping isn't bad but they need to learn how to be responsible.

1 person likes this

Polang

@tkonlinevn (6438)

• Vietnam

27 Jul 16

I totally agree with you. My husband's siblings had started with the dependence on us as they only work a fundamental way to serve the daily needs. When need a slightly larger amount, they call us borrow (unknown never returned). My husband know that, but he was still convinced they were. I am curious that your husband reacted How about what you told him?

1 person likes this

Marchy

@Marchy (99)

•

28 Jul 16

@tkonlinevn his sisters always borrow money from us but never pay. He know that his sister don't pay dept. I told to my husband that we're just renting house and we have expenses like his sister's family. The money that they borrowed is considered as their monthly allowance from us because they never pay even a single cents. We must stop lending them and just give them financial help when they really need it like emergencys. But when it comes to their daily expenses it's already there responsibilities and its totaly not our problem because he must also think of our own family. I'm happy that my husband understand what I told him and now, he always say "no" to his sisters.