Sunday Morning Rant from Home Alone

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They’ve gone and left me. In fact, my husband’s left home with a younger, prettier blonde! My walking is limited (not more than 2-3 miles) and slow, and my daughter, having lost 5 stone (long story!) is determined to lose another stone. Don’t know what she’s boasting about. The scales told me I’d lost 2lb this morning! That greedy streak in her character is decidedly unattractive! So, here I am, home alone again! Well, at least I’ve had my breakfast this time. They haven’t! It’s coffee that’s the problem – I said I’d wait till they came back. Why do I say these things? What shall I make them do as penance for leaving me? I know – I’ll guilt-trip Rik into taking me to the dog shelter this afternoon to register an interest. Bother them! I’m going down to get a coffee! See ya later! PS Have made coffee, and my daughter's just called to say they'll be home in a quarter of an hour. Their coffee will be stewed. Serve 'em right!