CIO
By Tiffany
@tnmathewsbsuedu (51)
August 1, 2016 11:07am CST
Recently I visited with a friend that I had lost touch with in high school. My LO was asleep in the car so when I got to her house I went to lay her down for a nap. My friend mentioned hers was just going down for a nap as well. When I put my LO down she immediately woke up and wouldn't fall back asleep. My friend mentioned she had a play pen and we could just turn the light out, give her a bottle, and she would fall asleep.
I have never done this before... just stuck her in a room and let her fall asleep on her own. I've always fed her to sleep or let her lay on me until she was asleep then I would put her in bed. I agreed to give it a try. Soon she was crying while I sat in the other room with my friend and her mom. I felt uneasy. I hated that I was sitting there pretending like my baby didn't need me. Like I didn't hear her crying just to feel my touch. My friends mom went down to talk to her while we chatted for a bit. She continued to cry.
Finally we decided to switch her play pen into the room with us. She still cried. My friend came back from the bathroom and asked what we were talking about... Her mom said "I'm just teaching your friend how to put her kid away." I was SHOCKED. I honestly didn't know if she was just being her sarcastic self or if she was serious. The thought of just putting my kid up when I felt like it made me feel sick. Was I tired? You bet. Did she desperately need a nap? You bet. But would I just put her in a room to cry it out? Hell no.
Now let me say that I respect every mothers right to decide if CIO is right for them. I do not judge their decision, whether it be like my friend chooses to do (CIO) or like I choose to do. I understand CIO is what some people need to do for their own sanity. However, CIO is not for me. It never will be. My mama bear instincts were screaming at me the whole time "GO TO YOUR BABY. COMFORT HER." So I did.
What are your thoughts? Did/do you let your baby cry it out?
1 person likes this
1 response
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
1 Aug 16
No offense meant here at all so I hope you don't take it that way but you are creating a very spoiled child in the future. Bed time is bed time for my kids-period. There was no comforting or anything like that because when they get older their still going to expect that! I have 4 children and if they ALL needed comfort to go to bed I would LOSE my mind! Thank God I did not spoil them that way because if I did I would have gray hair at the moment.
There is a difference between my baby "needs" something and is hurting/hungry and my baby is spoiled and wants me to hold them all the time... All mothers know the difference between the cries their babies have.
Just be very prepared and remember me telling you that this will NEVER end even at 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years old until you make it end...
1 person likes this
@tnmathewsbsuedu (51)
•
1 Aug 16
No offense taken.. I know many people who think holding your baby or cosleeping with your baby is spoiling them. My thoughts are - food spoils, not babies. I don't jump up every time my baby burps or whines but when she is turning red and crying pretty hard you better believe I tend to her. Babies really do biologically expect to have their needs met - this only makes them feel more secure, loved and wires their brain just right to grow up healthy and strong. So, no, I'm not afraid to pick up, comfort, love and meet my babies needs. She actually goes to sleep on her own and when I put her in bed she sleeps great without me (for naps). I understand the difference between my baby being hungry/etc. vs she just wants me to hold her.. I work at a daycare and there is definitely a couple of those babies. Mine isn't like that though. She is very independent and will play by herself no issues. It's just when she gets sleepy she wants some love from mom and I am more than happy to give it. :) I guess we will just have to agree to disagree ;) thanks for the input!
http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html
http://www.aol.com/article/2016/02/02/new-research-ends-age-old-debate-will-you-spoil-your-baby-if-yo/21306687/
Damaging children and their relationships for the longterm.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Aug 16
@tnmathewsbsuedu I more thought you were saying whenever your baby cries a little bit you run over and pick her up-which would be spoiling her. I provided comfort for my kids as well when they were babies-but not every second of the day because I have other things to tend to in the house.
Pediatricians will tell everyone there is a limit to crying it out. I would never let my baby cry it out for more than 15 minutes. If it's longer than that-something is most likely wrong.
The little ones you mentioned in the daycare-yeah that is what I was picturing-the babies who cannot be put down for more than 5 minutes without wanting to be held again. It's ridiculous and God help those parents if they have more children in the future!
1 person likes this
@tnmathewsbsuedu (51)
•
3 Aug 16
@LovingMyBabies if i ran to her every time she cried a little bit I'd lose my mind! haha
