Losing A Friend...

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Sometimes I remember being in that place, and sometimes I don't understand why anyone would want to do this. A friend of mine, someone I considered family has a checkered history with being a drug addict and a alcoholic. We stopped talking for a while because it got so bad that I couldn't stand seeing him do this to himself anymore. I tried helping as often as I could, but I also knew from personal experience that he had to help himself. We stopped talking for almost a year, and when I came back he sounded so much better. He had been sober for four months, and got a stable job along with his own place and learned that some people aren't worth talking to when they are toxic to your happiness. We've been friends for almost four years now but it feels like so many more. I'm starting to wonder where all of it went... I know when people are drugs that they aren't themselves anymore...but it still hurts... He was taking a girl I know to apply for a job where he works, and she texted me saying that he was doing drugs with his friend in the car on the way to work. I called him and...needless to say things didn't go very well, and me being concerned about him is a bad thing in his mind... I've learned that you can't save everyone no matter how hard you want to, and even though I haven't cried in a couple months I broke down...I am breaking down in public, at the library. I just really hoped he had changed, or at least really WANTED to... Losing a friend to drugs is...inexpressible :( I guess this is the end of something that I cherished, and he will never understand.