A Mixed Message
By Jeff Moffitt
@moffittjc (121582)
Gainesville, Florida
August 14, 2016 8:31am CST
I got quite the scare this morning with a disturbing voicemail message. It was from my mom, and the message simply said, "Call me, Michael passed away this morning from a heart attack." My mom is in really advanced in years, and in really bad shape health wise, so the message was very hard to make out. Michael is my younger brother.
Still groggy from waking up, and now in a panic, I immediately called my father to get more details. I told him I would be on my way as soon as I could. He said, "Why would you come here? The service will be in Sneads on Sunday afternoon." ("here" is where my parents and brother live, about 4 hours south of me. Sneads is a small town about 3 hours northwest of where I live). Extremely confused at this point, I asked my dad why the service would be in Sneads. "Because that's where he lived."
Wait a minute. My brother lives with my parents in West Palm Beach, so that he can help care for my mom. He'd never even been to Sneads.
I'm like, "Dad, Mike lives with you guys."
That's when my dad set the record straight. "Son, your brother Mike didn't pass away, your uncle Mike passed away."
My mom always called her brother Michael (my uncle), and also called her son Michael (my brother). Usually, she would distinguish between the two when talking to me, but I guess in her anguish of losing her brother she neglected to clarify which Michael.
What a way to start a morning!
Have you ever had something like this happen to you, where there was an emergency situation and due to the anguish, grief or seriousness of the matter, the message got mixed up?
25 people like this
29 responses
@akalinus (43196)
• United States
14 Aug 16
That is just horrible. I guess you are glad it was not your brother. Sad for your uncle, though. There are so many Michaels in the world that it is hard to keep them straight. I have a son Michael. Anyway, sorry for your loss. Were you close?
2 people like this
@akalinus (43196)
• United States
14 Aug 16
@moffittjc That even makes it harder. So sorry.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
@akalinus Thanks. He always explicitly told us that we were not to be sad when he passed, that he wanted us to celebrate his life by throwing a party.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
We were close years ago, when we lived closer to each other. He was the youngest sibling in my mom's family, so he was only just a little older than me. I always treated him like a big brother when we were growing up.
2 people like this
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
14 Aug 16
That is a terrible way to start a day. Who made the call or the voicemail? The wrong information came from him.
2 people like this
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
14 Aug 16
@moffittjc oh i see, that's terrible and im really reallysorry, losing a brother to her is like losing a brother to you and a son to her, really mixed up and sorry it had to happen but it really does sometimes
1 person likes this
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
14 Aug 16
@moffittjc sure is Jeff, yeah it would come but a certain unintentional mistake would make it tougher to deal with
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
@louievill I don't think it's ever easy to deal with, no matter what!
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@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
Thank you. No sigh of relief. We still lost a family member, it's a sad time for us.
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
@sol_cee Yes, my brother and my mother will both get big hugs from me when I see them.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
14 Aug 16
@moffittjc please hug michael the brother.
2 people like this
@Bella128 (2471)
• United States
14 Aug 16
How awful! I can't imagine going through that. I've never really experienced that before but I have received calls at midnight when a family member has passed. I wish people didn't call at midnight to deliver such tragic news, especially when delivering news to the older family members. For an example, my grandmother's sister passed away a couple months ago and she literally got the call at midnight from her younger sister. Now my grandmother has health problems and has issues with sleeping so this just ended up being very hard on her and I just wished the sister would have called the next day because at that point there's nothing you can do anyway.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
That's true! And I agree with you. Nobody is going to be able to do anything at all in the middle of the night, so why upset people like that? It would be best to wait until the morning, and then make the call.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
@Bellatricks If I didn't have two kids to watch after, I would just turn my ringer off on my phone at night when I went to sleep.
@Bella128 (2471)
• United States
14 Aug 16
@moffittjc Yeah, I just never have understood why so many people feel the need to deliver news in the middle of the night.
2 people like this
@Morethanamom (1948)
• Canada
14 Aug 16
I am sorry for your loss.
While I haven't been on the direct receiving end of a similar mix up, there was one in my husband's family almost 5 years ago. At first the news said the wife had passed, when it really was the husband.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Aug 16
@Morethanamom I'm just glad we got that straightened out, and that she was alive and well!
@Morethanamom (1948)
• Canada
14 Aug 16
@moffittjc glad the surgery was successful. Too bad their choice of words was less than stellar.
2 people like this
@much2say (55607)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Aug 16
and 
Oh that is a big, big mix up! I hope your heart handled that ok - what a difference that one "little" but important detail makes! That's never happened to me, but now I have in mind to double check when I get such news (omitting certain details is something my mom would totally do!!).2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
That's one of the reasons why I called my dad back instead of my mom, even though my mom was the one who left the voicemail message. I figured my dad would be able to give me a more accurate account of what happened, since my mom was so shook up.
2 people like this
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
21 Aug 16
@moffittjc I'm especially concerned about your mom - with her health condition, losing her brother was hard enough on her and then the sudden loss of her husband... I'm sincerely sad just thinking about this... 
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
21 Aug 16
@moffittjc You mentioned there has been 3 deaths in the family in as many days... May I ask who was the third one, was it another uncle?
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
I've broken down in tears a few times, but only in private. The rest of my family members are a complete mess, so I've got to be the one to be strong for them all. Several of them have already told me that if it wasn't for my strength in this time of sorrow, that they would have completely fallen apart.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
Thank you for your kind words.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
It definitely was a crazy start to my morning. Losing my uncle was is in no way less important than losing my brother, but man, the thought of my younger brother dying on my really shook me up!
2 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
15 Aug 16
@moffittjc I'm sure it really did shake you up. I would have felt that way also. I hope you and your Mom are doing okay.
2 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
17 Aug 16
@moffittjc Oh Jeff, I am so very sorry to hear about your Father! That has to be so devastating for you! I wish there was something I could do for you and your family.
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
14 Aug 16
OH dear what a horrible way to start the day. Thank the lord your dad put you straight. I guess it was an easy mistake as your poor mum must have been feeling awful about her brother. I bet your brother is grateful too it was not him. Sorry to hear your sad news. Hope you are feeling better now!
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Aug 16
It certainly did give my heart a good kickstart this morning.
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
15 Aug 16
Sorry to hear about your uncle, but glad it was not your brother. That was a scary mix up.
2 people like this
@lovebeingmummy2 (806)
• Aberdeen, Scotland
14 Aug 16
Sorry to hear your sad news.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
Thank you for your condolences.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Aug 16
That would have been frustrating if I had gone the wrong way!
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
21 Aug 16
That is quite the mix-up to be awakened to. I do not think anything like that has ever happened to me.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
The mixup was unfortunate, but at least got straightened out. Unfortunately, my father passed away a day later. That was just devastating news to me, and was very tough to handle. It's hard to believe someone could be taken from you so quickly, especially when you just saw or spoke to them and they were in such good spirits.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
15 Aug 16
@moffittjc That sure created confusion.But as you said,your mom did not sent you a clear message in her grief.Sorry for your family's loss.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Aug 16
Thank you! Unfortunately, soon after dealing with the loss of my uncle, my father passed away. I'm getting ready for the long drive down to be with my family. I'm in complete shock right now.
2 people like this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
15 Aug 16
@moffittjc This is rather shocking.Go to your family as soon as possible .They need you now.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (82798)
• United States
15 Aug 16
So sorry to hear that your uncle passed away and it probably took awhile for your heart rate to go back to normal after getting that message from your mom
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
Unfortunately, my dad passed away the next day, so it's really been a crazy week for our entire family.
@Poppylicious (11133)
•
15 Aug 16
So sorry about your uncle, but phew about your brother. It must have been an insane few minutes before everything got straightened out. :(
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Aug 16
It's actually gotten worse. My dad passed away earlier today from a heart attack. My mom was rushed to the hospital a few hours ago for heavy bleeding (I haven't heard any details of what caused the heavy bleeding). I'm on the road driving back from vacation, so it's been hard to figure out what's going on. I'm kind of in a big daze right now.
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Aug 16
@moffittjc haha, I meant I've [/i][i]been on the road driving...obviously, if I'm on myLot, I'm not driving right now! lol
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Aug 16
@LoriAMoore Thank you Lori! Your prayers mean the world to me!
@ageekmommy (86)
• Dayton, Ohio
14 Aug 16
Wow that is a very scary situation! I know one time my mom texts me when I'm at Target (she rarely texts) and says "Taking your dad to the ER" that is all it says. I call her, and call her about 20 times. No answer. It just rings and rings and rings. I can't get any more information on what is going on. I finally call the hospital and they send me to his room. I was so angry at her I could scream. But at least I found them. IT was a very nerve racking experience. I am sorry for your family's loss.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Aug 16
This morning, I was on the phone with my brother, and he suddenly shouts, "I have to go, mom is bleeding badly and I have to take her to the ER. I'll call you soon." That was 10 hours ago. I still haven't heard from him and he's not answering his phone. I have no idea if him or my mom are okay. It's been a very rough weekend for me! lol
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121582)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Aug 16
@ageekmommy It's actually worse than you think, I just haven't publicized it yet, but my father passed away this morning as well. There's been three deaths in our family in the last three days.
1 person likes this
@ageekmommy (86)
• Dayton, Ohio
15 Aug 16
@moffittjc seriously? This has been a bad week for you! I really hope she is okay. :( Have you tried to call the hospital.
3 people like this
