How do i make him realize

@kinzzz (23)
Rajkot, India
August 16, 2016 5:03am CST
I am dating a married man since 4yrs. Initially everything was fine. Then the blame game began. Endless fights. Less time availability. No meeting for days. He started to thinking that coming one step down in relationship is better than to fight all day on all the petty issues. His past has been such where i have lot of insecurities. he has traded with my trust. But now the situation is such that we are falling apart bcuz he isnt ready to put any more effort in this relationship. So how do i make him realize that it is not helping us? P.S. : His bdaie is coming. next monday. He will be all day busy at his workplace. laters with family n friends. i doubt he might spend any time with me. but still i have brought a gift for him expecting we might have some good time. i dont want to create a mess. just can u help me how to tell him to make time for me without hurting him?
4 people like this
6 responses
@waflay (2737)
• Nairobi, Kenya
16 Aug 16
You have call yourself for a personal meeting and examine if you are really in a healthy relationship.Sometimes fighting in a relationship is bound to happen but if it goes to an extent that no one time two partners are able to sort out their differences in a sane manner,then its good just leave it.In your case,talk to him first but no matter what you decide don't allow yourself to be held hostage by someone who you do not their plans as far as your relationship with him is concerned.
1 person likes this
@kinzzz (23)
• Rajkot, India
17 Aug 16
hey thanx for ur time and reply. i consider your point but as of now nothing i can do about it. m relying on him. i can sense we are already falling apart. sometimes my over thinking and assumptions lead me to more depression. m in a confused state.
1 person likes this
@waflay (2737)
• Nairobi, Kenya
17 Aug 16
@kinzzz I understand you but try as much as possible to put your life together,don't allow the fear of what next to control you as the more you think losing him will lead to your failure the more you will hold onto this relationship and you can already see signs that it may not work.
• Pasig, Philippines
16 Aug 16
This is complicated and do you really want the relationship to continue? He is married? The relationship that you've had with him is wrong. If you have guts you need to end the relationship I feel that it's difficult for you because you love him but you need to set him free.End it now. He has a family. Aren't you feeling any guilt? Think a lot of times girl..
• Pasig, Philippines
17 Aug 16
@kinzzz all you have to do is to end the relationship. Don't let him be the first to end it.
@kinzzz (23)
• Rajkot, India
17 Aug 16
yh. may b m lacking lot of guts. but as today, i can already sense that the relationship is already falling apart. he asks me to be practical all the time. zero expectations.
1 person likes this
@kinzzz (23)
• Rajkot, India
17 Aug 16
@sugartoes hmm.. i have almost set him free. i dont interfre in any of his matters. i dont even ask wats going on nwid him.
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
16 Aug 16
The problems with dating a married man are endless and if he hasn't left his wife after 4 years he probably never will. You need to find someone who is not attached, someone who you can call your own. Of course it will be hard but sometimes things do not work out because there is something better waiting around the corner.
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
17 Aug 16
@kinzzz Anything worth having is worth waiting for
1 person likes this
@kinzzz (23)
• Rajkot, India
17 Aug 16
i hope wat ur saying is true. bcuz i havent fond the love till now. i have always got it in bits and pieces.
1 person likes this
• Nairobi, Kenya
17 Aug 16
I've been there and trust me you, it ain't cool later, he is just with you to pass time, you love him ? That ain't love you are possessed about him
@kinzzz (23)
• Rajkot, India
17 Aug 16
i guess love is fading. i dont feel the connection. more of i am already saying we are falling apart.
@ms1864 (6885)
• Bangalore, India
16 Aug 16
let him go. he has a family..don't be the reason that it breaks. He obviously is realizing that his family is more important... that why he is giving up on you. Build up your self esteem.... don't you think u deserve to be in a better ...safer and happier relationship?
@ms1864 (6885)
• Bangalore, India
17 Aug 16
@kinzzz oh..thats...complicated. I still don't see why you should lower your expectations. Don't you think you have a right to have the kind of life that makes you happy?
1 person likes this
@kinzzz (23)
• Rajkot, India
17 Aug 16
i am not being the reason for his family to break. instead his wife knows everything about us. we roam together. we also have family relations. they visit my home. my parents. but in this inter personal relationship, we are falling apart. he asks me to be more n more practical and have least expectations.
@kinzzz (23)
• Rajkot, India
18 Aug 16
@ms1864 i do. but this love thing isnt helping me to grow out
1 person likes this
19 Aug 17
You should give your present to a nice single boy and start a better and new relationship with that person instead. It'll feel better to fall in love with someone who has fallen in love with you too.