My Depression and Anxiety is burying me deeply

@Archie0 (5652)
August 27, 2016 8:04am CST
It has been around 8-9 months where my depression had taken a toll over me very badly. I went over board with my sleeping medicines and got admitted. After that I got my life partner we got engaged. But still even after I think I found my life partner and I have a love life to start by this December, I am not able to get rid of my depression. Sometimes it is less but sometimes my anxiety levels are so high that I do nothing but cry. I don't like to express my sadness to anybody not even to my fiancé because I feel he will get irritated to me and might leave me or simply start to respect me less. I feel terribly lonely and isolated. I still take help of sleeping pills. Because they make me feel relaxed and I can go to sleep peacefully. Without the pills I can never sleep a restful sleep, I always get dreams and only bad ones which I remember and get more depressed. I crave to be happy and smile and laugh which I haven't done in years. Is there my fault? I need some advices if possible or if anyone who is suffering similar mental condition like mine. Because I feel only people who suffer same conditions can understand better sometimes.
8 people like this
13 responses
@Mike197602 (15505)
• United Kingdom
27 Aug 16
Sleeping pills won't do much for depression and anxiety. First thing I'd do would be go to a doctor and they may suggest a course of medication to get you back on an even keel. Then there are other things like counselling or CBT to help in the long term.
4 people like this
@Archie0 (5652)
30 Aug 16
I had an appointment with a doctor who was a complete maniac which made me believe less in psychiatrist who will really help me. But I am going to take a note of what you just said.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15505)
• United Kingdom
30 Aug 16
@Archie0 just go to a normal GP rather than a psychiatrist.
@jxg345 (31)
• Baoji, China
28 Aug 16
Follow your doctor's advice, and you'll be fine.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (68230)
• United States
27 Aug 16
I agree with what Mike said. Go to the doctor, and go quickly! Sleeping pills aren't solving the problem. I have anxiety and depression, and it's a physical problem (a chemical imbalance in your body). There is help, and it's relatively simple to get. Yes, it's medication, and you'll probably need cognitive therapy as well, but there is help. Don't try to resolve this yourself, just as you'd never try to cure yourself of cancer. Depression is as real as cancer, and as painful, and as potentially life-threatening. Please go to the doctor and get help. And if anyone tells you "just snap out of it" or "just pray," slap 'em. That's not the answer.
2 people like this
@Archie0 (5652)
30 Aug 16
You are exactly true. I feel like I have some serious disease and people who don't suffer won't understand my problem. All they say is to meditate which makes me furious.
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (7558)
• Oxford, England
28 Aug 16
Also make sure they check your blood. Lack of iron and potassium combined can be a cause og major depression.
2 people like this
@jxg345 (31)
• Baoji, China
28 Aug 16
You're right. Sleeping pills can't treat anxiety and depression, it will only get worse
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
27 Aug 16
so that's what's been going on with you offline. i'm surprised and saddened, but happy you're still here. if you can't confide in your fiance, have you anywhere where you can get counseling?
2 people like this
@Archie0 (5652)
30 Aug 16
I tried talking to my fiancé he tries to understand me but I don't wan to act like a mad person to him. Because frankly speaking it is very difficult to explain situations of depression. I find it difficult to explain to him how I feel. Also I feel that only he can understand me and he might make me feel better.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Aug 16
@Archie0 i hope you can find another doctor, since based on your other comments, it seems your current one isn't helping that much.
@CinnamonGrl (7084)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
27 Aug 16
I am so sorry to hear your life is being taken over by these overwhelming emotions. You should tell your fiance, I think. He may feel shut out and really just have no idea what is going on. You must let him know the real you. Are you getting professional help from the person who prescribes the pills? I really hope you are seeking professional help.
2 people like this
@Archie0 (5652)
30 Aug 16
I use to have a professional help before. But they give me medications which goes only for three days. And I can't afford to visit the doctor after every three day. And I somehow feel that doctor to whom I went was a total nerd he wasn't the way he should be. Now I take medications just to help me sleep. Sometimes when my depression takes a toll I eat like 4-5 pills which isn't good but I can't help myself at times.
@jxg345 (31)
• Baoji, China
28 Aug 16
You're right. I hope she can find a professional doctor to treat her anxiety and depression.
1 person likes this
• Hangzhou, China
27 Aug 16
I feel so bad for the situation you are having now. But could you go to see a doctor about your worry and depression? Maybe your doctor could give some good advice on how to deal with it. I see when someone is suffering from depression, it is not that easy to feel really happy. Anyway, I wish you to live nice and happy. Be blessed!
2 people like this
@Archie0 (5652)
30 Aug 16
I tried one doctor and it didn't help my panic attacks come frequently and when they come it makes me scared like something very bad will happen to me
@jxg345 (31)
• Baoji, China
28 Aug 16
You're right. Let's bless her.
1 person likes this
• Kolkata, India
27 Aug 16
Sleeping pills can never be a permanent solution to any problem,and depression is no exception to this.Decrease your dependence on medicine and try "meditation" instead.It can do wonder.
2 people like this
@skysnap (20153)
31 Aug 16
I found writing about the anxiety and also working on full time work and then freelancing during free time after job helps. But being social among people of same interest can take away half of the anxiety
1 person likes this
@Archie0 (5652)
31 Aug 16
Exactly! You need similar and like minded people who will understand you. But sometimes they can be way more harmful as well. There was this girl a cousin of my fiancé and she has depression too. We started talking and I kind of like her but later she started riding me by falling in for my fiancé and making things worst for me as it was no other girl but his own cousin. That was disgusting
@skysnap (20153)
31 Aug 16
@Archie0 That kind of experience is creepy too. Makes you wonder whether to make friends or not.
@Jackalyn (7558)
• Oxford, England
28 Aug 16
Get your doctor to check you are on tbe right meds. It sounds like they are not helping. I was shocked to discover medication was causing more problems than it solved. Don't just stop taking the meds yourself.
2 people like this
@Inlemay (17713)
• South Africa
31 Aug 16
I am sorry to hear - my philosophy in life is simple - it keeps me going and I shall share with you. Quote ~ "I believe the key to happiness is: someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to." ~ Elvis Presley
13 Dec 16
I too am depressed. I know your post was a while ago but I am hoping that you are feeling better. I'm also engaged and I don't like expressing myself to him everytime I'm feeling depressed or anxious. I feel he'll get tired of it. I don't have any friends so that makes it even worse for me. I feel like no one understands. You are doing what you feel is right to cope and I have done my share of the wrong coping methods. I really hope you are feel better. Even if it's just a little.
• New Delhi, India
27 Aug 16
Yoga and stress reducing exercise, can they help in it?
1 person likes this
@Archie0 (5652)
30 Aug 16
Depression has nothing to do with yoga and meditation. I don't understand why people always suggest depressed and anxiety patients to meditate... It's funny.
@jxg345 (31)
• Baoji, China
28 Aug 16
That's a good idea. It's helpful for her.
1 person likes this
@jxg345 (31)
• Baoji, China
28 Aug 16
Have a good talk with your fiance. He can help you.
1 person likes this
@QueenAva (765)
• Nicosia, Cyprus
30 Aug 16
THE KEY IS TO LOVE UR SELF...LOVE UR SELF TRY IT..BELIEVE IN YOU...DO IT..TRY IT...DONT GIVE UP...YOULL SOON BE SLEEPING AND HAVING GOOD DREAMS!
1 person likes this
@Archie0 (5652)
30 Aug 16
You are right. That's what I need to do, love myself. But sometimes you have so many people around you who constantly try to pull you down. Especially it's worse if these people is your family.
1 person likes this
@QueenAva (765)
• Nicosia, Cyprus
30 Aug 16
@Archie0 Tell me about it, but you see...if you love ur self, they and no one can touch you!