My Depression and Anxiety is burying me deeply
By Archie0
@Archie0 (5652)
August 27, 2016 8:04am CST
It has been around 8-9 months where my depression had taken a toll over me very badly. I went over board with my sleeping medicines and got admitted. After that I got my life partner we got engaged. But still even after I think I found my life partner and I have a love life to start by this December, I am not able to get rid of my depression. Sometimes it is less but sometimes my anxiety levels are so high that I do nothing but cry. I don't like to express my sadness to anybody not even to my fiancé because I feel he will get irritated to me and might leave me or simply start to respect me less. I feel terribly lonely and isolated. I still take help of sleeping pills. Because they make me feel relaxed and I can go to sleep peacefully.
Without the pills I can never sleep a restful sleep, I always get dreams and only bad ones which I remember and get more depressed. I crave to be happy and smile and laugh which I haven't done in years.
Is there my fault? I need some advices if possible or if anyone who is suffering similar mental condition like mine. Because I feel only people who suffer same conditions can understand better sometimes.
8 people like this
13 responses
@Mike197602 (15505)
• United Kingdom
27 Aug 16
Sleeping pills won't do much for depression and anxiety.
First thing I'd do would be go to a doctor and they may suggest a course of medication to get you back on an even keel.
Then there are other things like counselling or CBT to help in the long term.
4 people like this
@Mike197602 (15505)
• United Kingdom
30 Aug 16
@Archie0 just go to a normal GP rather than a psychiatrist.
@FourWalls (67380)
• United States
27 Aug 16
I agree with what Mike said. Go to the doctor, and go quickly! Sleeping pills aren't solving the problem. I have anxiety and depression, and it's a physical problem (a chemical imbalance in your body). There is help, and it's relatively simple to get. Yes, it's medication, and you'll probably need cognitive therapy as well, but there is help. Don't try to resolve this yourself, just as you'd never try to cure yourself of cancer. Depression is as real as cancer, and as painful, and as potentially life-threatening. Please go to the doctor and get help.
And if anyone tells you "just snap out of it" or "just pray," slap 'em. That's not the answer.
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
27 Aug 16
so that's what's been going on with you offline. i'm surprised and saddened, but happy you're still here. if you can't confide in your fiance, have you anywhere where you can get counseling?
2 people like this
@Archie0 (5652)
•
30 Aug 16
I tried talking to my fiancé he tries to understand me but I don't wan to act like a mad person to him. Because frankly speaking it is very difficult to explain situations of depression. I find it difficult to explain to him how I feel. Also I feel that only he can understand me and he might make me feel better.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
30 Aug 16
@Archie0 i hope you can find another doctor, since based on your other comments, it seems your current one isn't helping that much.
@CinnamonGrl (7084)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
27 Aug 16
I am so sorry to hear your life is being taken over by these overwhelming emotions. You should tell your fiance, I think. He may feel shut out and really just have no idea what is going on. You must let him know the real you. Are you getting professional help from the person who prescribes the pills? I really hope you are seeking professional help.
2 people like this
@Archie0 (5652)
•
30 Aug 16
I use to have a professional help before. But they give me medications which goes only for three days. And I can't afford to visit the doctor after every three day. And I somehow feel that doctor to whom I went was a total nerd he wasn't the way he should be. Now I take medications just to help me sleep. Sometimes when my depression takes a toll I eat like 4-5 pills which isn't good but I can't help myself at times.
@williamjisir66 (594)
• Hangzhou, China
27 Aug 16
I feel so bad for the situation you are having now. But could you go to see a doctor about your worry and depression? Maybe your doctor could give some good advice on how to deal with it. I see when someone is suffering from depression, it is not that easy to feel really happy. Anyway, I wish you to live nice and happy. Be blessed!
2 people like this
@arintellect007 (533)
• Kolkata, India
27 Aug 16
Sleeping pills can never be a permanent solution to any problem,and depression is no exception to this.Decrease your dependence on medicine and try "meditation" instead.It can do wonder.
2 people like this
@Archie0 (5652)
•
31 Aug 16
Exactly! You need similar and like minded people who will understand you. But sometimes they can be way more harmful as well. There was this girl a cousin of my fiancé and she has depression too. We started talking and I kind of like her but later she started riding me by falling in for my fiancé and making things worst for me as it was no other girl but his own cousin. That was disgusting
@Kaygreen1913 (162)
•
13 Dec 16
I too am depressed. I know your post was a while ago but I am hoping that you are feeling better. I'm also engaged and I don't like expressing myself to him everytime I'm feeling depressed or anxious. I feel he'll get tired of it. I don't have any friends so that makes it even worse for me. I feel like no one understands. You are doing what you feel is right to cope and I have done my share of the wrong coping methods. I really hope you are feel better. Even if it's just a little.
@ModernDayWriter (3318)
• New Delhi, India
27 Aug 16
Yoga and stress reducing exercise, can they help in it?
1 person likes this
