She's In Denial
@SIMPLYD (90722)
Philippines
September 6, 2016 1:23am CST
This post is relative to my post below .
Last Sunday , my mother-in-law and auntie , her older sister , argued .
Auntie confronted my mother-in-law, why she said before the mass last Saturday , that she doesn’t have money anymore , after they shopped for some items at the supermarket .
Then , during the offertory she saw my mother-in-law gave to the alm basket a bill of violet and that was 100 pesos ($2.12) . And this was twice , the first and second collection . To which my mother-in-law denied , giving such big amounts.
My hubby also sided with auntie on her lying, about the amounts she gives out to people because my nieces who accompanies her to church (she goes to church Wednesday , Friday and on Saturday , the anticipated mass ) told him that she would always give so much fare than the usual fare to the tricycle driver to which again, she denied .
She was already shouting and she said she will not let them take her to the specialist to have her forgetfulness checked because she’s not crazy and that their father died with still a sharp mind .
To which my auntie said , "you are not our father and that you just need help to reverse your forgetfulness and lying , and we are not saying that you are crazy. "
The truth is , she keeps forgetting what she has just done but would always lie that she didn’t do it when things gets lost , because she doesn’t want to accept that she forgot it again and again .
Just sharing . . . 
I was surprised when one day just this year , mother-in-law have asked me a question more than 5 times in a day . [em]shocked[/em] The next day , she cooked...
25 people like this
25 responses
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
6 Sep 16
Yes, we know That . That's why we never let her leave the house without a companion . She too always like a companion whenever she will be going out because she's afraid she might also be victimized by the Budol -Budol gang who victimized her sister .
3 people like this
@vandana7 (100300)
• India
6 Sep 16
Issues with old age...that is why it is better to be in old age home. No roughness in relationship, and love or affections can still exist. In old age home, since everything would be taken care by somebody else...fights may be less...and loved ones could still visit and overlook one or two episodes of forgetfulness..I wish people would understand why the idea appeals to me very much.
3 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Sep 16
That's what we are thinking of doing because the medication given to her courtesy of a specialist that my daughter consulted had an adverse effect on her .
So , our daughter told us that she needs to be assessed in person by a specialist , which she said she doesn't need.
But we told my brother-in-law to find the time to have her checked .
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Sep 16
That is right . My mother is of her age and my father year older than her , but they aren't as forgetful as her . And our daughter and boyfriend when they came for a vacation assessed her as having mild dementia .
We told brother-in-law to talk to her in going to a specialist .
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Sep 16
@LadyDuck Yes, we told our brother-in-law that . But during that time , when mother-in-law said she isn't crazy and won't go to a specialist , he agreed.
But i know , when he will be able to find the right time he will convince her . But when will it be ? When she has already progressed into Alzheimers . That's his call really .
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
7 Sep 16
in her mind she isnt lying, but she does indeed need to go to the doctor.
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@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Sep 16
That is true . She won't accept that she's lying because she thinks she didn't do it , so she will not be humiliated that she is that already .
I hope we can find the perfect timing to do that . It will be the call of my gay brother-in-law who takes care of their health provisions .
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
8 Sep 16
@Jessicalynnt She still knows about these things . It's just that she is so forgetful now , that she asks a question more than 6 times in a day .
And that's why she still have the chance for it to be reversed , by medication . Brother-in-law will be talking to her one of these days and explain why she has to .
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
7 Sep 16
@SIMPLYD just going to have to force her to go, she wont remember it even if you discuss it ahead of time. Just call it a yearly checkup, everyone has them.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Sep 16
@puroypoi Yes, so much patience is very well needed indeed . I know this , because i have already read something about this and learned about it in my caregiving training before .
When we tell them that a question of hers is answered already , we should do it in a nice way , better still in a joking way .
1 person likes this
@puroypoi (272)
• Cainta, Philippines
7 Sep 16
@SIMPLYD i think people who are with her need to have a lot of patience. Similar case I encountered was that of my client's grandmother before. She could hardly remember what she is asking and she asked the same question over and over again. It is quite funny but I could hardly laugh. It is her grandson that would required her to stop and remind her that the question was answered already. :) And if you saw the movie of Drew Barrymore, I think it was 50 First Date, she also had an early Dementia due to accident. But lucky for her she has a loving friends, family, specialist and found love despite her condition. :)
1 person likes this
@epiffanie (11326)
• Australia
10 Sep 16
My mother in law had dementia and we all noticed that she gets very defensives and angry when she's told of her forgetfulness .. You will find that as the dementia progress, the patient become abusive too not only physically but verbally .. It is sad .. My mother in-law passed away three years ago ..
I hope your mother in-law get some help to slow down her dementia .. so she can enjoy more years with the family ..
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
12 Sep 16
So your mother too. Yes, i think that 's how it is with those with dementia , they get defensive about their forgetfulness .
i don't when my brother-in-law will bring her to a specialist . He keeps just going with friends when weekends come .
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
13 Sep 16
@epiffanie Oh so it's your mother-in-law also .
Actually , she was already prescribed by a specialist friend of my daughter , a medicine for it . Good thing , brother-in-law only bought two tablets , because when she took the first one , she was nauseous and dizzy the whole day . We stopped it at once .
So , my daughter told us to take her to a specialist so she can really be seen and assessed .
1 person likes this
@epiffanie (11326)
• Australia
12 Sep 16
@SIMPLYD I meant my mother in law ( I've just edited my comment ) .. I hope your mother in law gets checked because there are medications now that can really help the sufferers ..
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Sep 16
No, i didn't argue with her . It's her older sister and my hubby , the eldest child who talked with her .
After that incident , i requested my hubby not to be confrontational when he talks to her about her lying , but just do it in a nice way , so she won't get angry .
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Sep 16
They are the ones left at home , auntie , her sister , my father-in-law and my hubby . So , they are the ones that can attest on how forgetful she is .
Yes, they talk to her always . But hearing the same question and talk over and over again , tests their patience though .
She really needs to be seen by a specialist to which she said No .
1 person likes this
@acelawrites (19272)
• Philippines
6 Sep 16
So sad, it could be an onset of Alzheimer's disease; she should be guided on how to deal with it; or her relatives should do it and understand her situation.
2 people like this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
7 Sep 16
It requires a lot of patience to deal with them....good wishes to you all for that.
2 people like this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16760)
• China
7 Sep 16
By your leave,I suspect your mother-in-law has suffered from mild dementia .No harm will come to her to see a doctor.However I reckon she won't do it for fear of losing face.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
8 Sep 16
@changjiangzhibin89 Yes, that's what i told my brother-in-law . 
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@changjiangzhibin89 (16760)
• China
8 Sep 16
@SIMPLYD You have to talk her into having a check-up,the earlier the better.
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@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
6 Sep 16
Yes , but we want her to be taken to a neurologist so her mild dementia can still be arrested or reversed .
She was prescribed one but it has adverse effect on her when she took one , so we stopped her from taking another again . A replacement should be given by a neurologist , and she has to be assessed in person .
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
8 Sep 16
Precisely . She lies because she wants to cover up her forgetfulness . And when we told her that we will visit a specialist who deals with forgetfulness so it can still be arrested since it's mild yet , she was angry and said she's not crazy . And yet we didn't ever tell her that . 
I am hoping my gay brother-in-law can talk it over with her so she will go .
I am hoping my gay brother-in-law can talk it over with her so she will go .
I hope she will be talked over by my brother-in-law about what's ailing her now .
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
6 Sep 16
It happens are you get older but people don't like to admit it. It is difficult to admit that you aren't like you use to be in your younger years. Perhaps she should see a doctor if she hasn't already.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Sep 16
@Happy2BeMe We will find for a correct timing .
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
6 Sep 16
Actually , she has already taken a medicine that can help revert her mild dementia . However , it made her nauseous , so it was stopped . It was prescribed by a neurologist friend of our daughter without seeing her , since we are in the province and they're in a far city .
So we are planning to bring her to a neurologist here in the province one of these days but she doesn't like .
I hope she will change her mind .
I hope she will change her mind .1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
6 Sep 16
@SIMPLYD I hope she does too because she really needs to be looked at and get the proper medication for her.
2 people like this
