Divorced Parents/Step Parents
@Kortneyls (58)
Fortson, Georgia
September 23, 2016 11:32am CST
I am divorced. My husband has also been divorced. We both have kids from our previous marriage and one together. I am extremely close to my step-daughter. I do not even think of her as a step-daughter. I have been to all of her school functions, cheerleading practices, games, and anything else that is special for her. Things were great between her Mother and I, until very recently. Her mother is now trying to exclude me from her life. What, in your experiences, are a step parents rights? Can I attend school functions, mediation (if we get that far), doctors appointments, etc. I am a stay at home mom, so I take care of most of those types of things in our household. I kinda feel like I am losing a child! Any advice, input, or opinion is welcome (even if it isn't positive).
2 people like this
3 responses
@Kortneyls (58)
• Fortson, Georgia
23 Sep 16
Thanks! It is difficult because the Mother believes and openly says that I am nothing to the child! I have put my heart and soul into raising this child. The mother and father share time equally, so we have her as much as the mother does. Now the mother wants to take that away from us!
@Kortneyls (58)
• Fortson, Georgia
23 Sep 16
@ms1864 he does! I have his full support! That is why we now have an appointment with a lawyer this week.
1 person likes this
@CaseyRoss9966 (4056)
• United States
25 Sep 16
As a step mother I believe you have the right to go to school functions or to be there for doctors appointments or when she is sick. The more loving supportive people she has in her life the better it is for her. Of course you shouldn't try and take her mother's place, but you should still be there for her when and if she needs you. That is what a good person/parent does in general. My parents were both married and divorced before they got married and also both had kids from other marriages/relationships. My sister (my mom's previous relationship) never knew her dad and he wasn't ever in her life, so my dad is her dad and he does everything a good dad does for there kid. He went to every softball game (he was the coach after all), all school events, doctor's appointments, and has even held her hair as she has thrown up all night (even though he has a weak stomach). My brothers (my dad's previous marriage) lived with their mom after the divorce and we saw them every weekend and holiday. My mom never tried to take their mom's place, but she was also there for them when they need her.
@Kortneyls (58)
• Fortson, Georgia
26 Sep 16
That is what I have tried to do. My husband is great to my son (his stepson), but he also gets along well with my ex, probably way better than I do haha. She knows I have never tried to take her Mom's place. She once asked if she could call me mommy. I encouraged her to find another good "nickname" for me. Part of the problem though, is that even at 5 year old, my stepdaughter is extremely smart. She knows how to play the game already. She went back to her mom and told her mom that she was calling me Mommy just to upset her. She likes to go back and forth and tell lies to the other parents. I have no idea why she does, but she does, and it makes things way more difficult.
1 person likes this
@CaseyRoss9966 (4056)
• United States
26 Sep 16
@Kortneyls She probably is having trouble understanding or getting her emotions out about the divorce. She may need to talk to someone professional about the situation or an outside neutral person to talk to about it. She needs someone who isn't going to pick sides with her parents. Young kids normally can't process their feelings well no matter how smart they are or may seem.
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
23 Sep 16
I think talking to a lawyer would be your best options to find out what your rights as a step-parent are. It must be so difficult because she is your child. You have practically raised her with her Dad but sometimes the law doesn't recognize that. The mother should be able to work things out with you so that you are able to see the daughter. How old is the daughter?
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
23 Sep 16
@Kortneyls It could have something to do with the move. Hard to say but it is not right for her to use the child like that. The child would be missing you too since you were such a huge part of her life.
1 person likes this
@Kortneyls (58)
• Fortson, Georgia
23 Sep 16
She is 5 now. I have been her since she was about a year and a half. I think the mother has gotten jealous of our relationship. Everything was great between the mother and I, and suddenly, it was like a switch flipped and she went off the deep end. I am not sure what happened honestly! It might have something to do with the fact that she wants to move about an hour away. We currently get the daughter for a week at a time, and we would not be able to do that if she moves, because we cannot get her to school every day.
1 person likes this
