Things I've Missed

@DianneN (247186)
United States
September 28, 2016 9:51am CST
First off, my husband is not using pain meds anymore, since his neck surgery five weeks ago tomorrow! He walks with me around our lane holding hands. However, he still can't lift his arms and has no feeling in three fingers. OT still works with him, but he is determined to get well. As a result of this, we have been stuck in the house, and have missed so much of life! 2 luncheons with friends Annual block party with our wonderful neighbors My class reunion The theater for Steve Martin's new play, Meteor Shower Multiple dinner plans with friends and family Pizza and pool party at our son's inlaws New movies in the theater My hair appointment My weekly mani/pedi appointments Trips to New York City to see my babies Dinner at our younger son's future inlaws' house A birthday party A healthy viral hubby When will this end? I'm slowly losing my mind!
32 people like this
36 responses
• United States
28 Sep 16
Your husband is making steady progress which is wonderful. It's sad that you're stuck in the house and missing things but I know how you feel as I'm pretty much stuck myself taking care of my mom
6 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
You and I certainly feel the same way. Let's hope your mother and my husband improve, and soon!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
28 Sep 16
I am so sorry to hear this. It must be so difficult for you. You are dealing with so much with your husband's health plus you are missing out on so much. It is nice to get out and spend time with people and just do things for you. I wish your husband all the best in his recovery. It is good that he gets out and walks your lane with you. I hope things will get better for you and your husband so you can start enjoying some fun things in life again.
4 people like this
• Midland, Michigan
28 Sep 16
@DianneN When my husband had his first set of surgeries eight years ago the only way he could leave the house was if our neighbors were home as they lifted him off the porch and onto the ground. He went eight months before the insurance cleared it for him to get his first prosthetic. We also had a ramp put in so I could get him back and forth in a wheelchair. If he needed that surgery to continue to be active and healthy in life, then it was a need. At least he has the will to get through this. There are many that give up after surgery draining the spouse even more.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
It is more than we both bargained for. It is getting old now. My husband misses going out more than I do.
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
28 Sep 16
@DianneN Yes I would imagine it would be.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
28 Sep 16
Wow that is a lot of fun to miss in five weeks. I hope that it will soon be over and your hubs will be back to his healthy self.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
We are hoping to be able to PARTY when and if!
1 person likes this
@marlina (154131)
• Canada
28 Sep 16
First of all, I think you are doing the RIGHT THING. The rest will come again for you and your husband. We have all gone through periods like that in our lives, not easy, but it is doable.
3 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
Thank, Marlina. Your words sure help.
@LadyDuck (471490)
• Switzerland
29 Sep 16
Dianne I know that it has been hard, but the worst is over, soon you will be back to your normal activities, I am sure.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (471490)
• Switzerland
29 Sep 16
@DianneN I can very well understand how much worried you are. I hope that the doctor can find a therapy.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
29 Sep 16
@LadyDuck He receives OT. The OT noticed small improvement in both arms, but not nearly enough.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
29 Sep 16
I certainly hope you are right! It's those arms of his that have us worried.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
29 Sep 16
At least he has improved which is good :)
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
29 Sep 16
@DianneN hope the trend continues :D Though, I feel you about the hairdresser visits, these are essential
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
30 Sep 16
@Drosophila Definitely, but you should see my hair!!!!
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
29 Sep 16
Definitely!
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8687)
• United States
28 Sep 16
Best luck to you and your husband for a speedy and complete recovery. Sometimes we miss out on things because of reasons such as yours but you do what you have to.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
You are right and many thanks.
• Valdosta, Georgia
29 Sep 16
I'm sorry you have been missing so much. =( I kind of know the feeling. Before last night, I didn't leave the house in a month straight because our van has been broke down! I didn't get to go anywhere at all-no stores or gas stations even! Finally last night we got to go to a friends house for dinner and it felt so amazing to leave my home! I hope you get to enjoy life and be out & about again soon. =)
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (51019)
• Canada
28 Sep 16
The kids look so happy, I think that your grandson is going to be tall, they are almost the same height it looks. I hope that your husband feels better soon, I think that you were expecting around a 6 week recovery period. But when you are in it, I'm sure that it seems longer, especially given the long list of social obligations that you've missed. But if he's determined he'll recover, that is usually what happens, we just have to be patient. And when you retired a few years ago, I know that you never thought you'd enjoy a second career as a personal nurse-lol
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (51019)
• Canada
28 Sep 16
@DianneN I know, but nobody can look after him like you can.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
Thanks. Z is tall for his age and has worn larger shoes for a couple of years. The doctor told us 6-8 weeks. We will see him a week from Friday. Another exciting outing! Yay! There is very little improvement in his arms, which terrify us both. The doctor did say he will get movement back, but he also said he may only get 70% back in an office visit. Time will tell and OT may help. I'm trying so hard to be patient and pray all the time. I was scared out of my mind when the nurses first showed me his incision and how to put on his neck brace. But here I am nursing without a thought. I missed my true vocation! Lol!
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
@Juliaacv He didn't want a nurse. Just me. I must admit I've been doing a good job, especially doling out meds, shampooing without getting soap in his eyes, getting him dressed, shaving, and even brushing his teeth. I don't mind caring for him, but really dislike doing what used to be his jobs - cleaning Doodle's box twice a day, schlepping garbage, getting the morning newspaper and mail, grocery shopping, ordering and paying for dinner delivery, running errands, etc. Walking and caring for Doodles and cooking three meals a day are things I enjoy, but constant cleaning dropped food and spilled drinks from my hubby and constant laundry are wearing me out.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Sep 16
I'm glad that your husband is showing improvement - you probably just have to be patient Dianne. I know it can't be easy.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
29 Sep 16
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
It is so wonderful to see him improving. A joy! I'm still quite worried about him regaining full use of his arms, and he's stepped up his therapy. I know he's worried, too, and feels so helpless. I'm trying my best to be patient, but it is very, very difficult.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
28 Sep 16
I would not have worry about this. First thing first is to get your husband back on his feet and well. Sorry to have miss all of those things.That's Life.This is what all about. They will be many more years for you to enjoy. Lets get hubby well.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
Thanks. Getting him well is our number 1 priority.
• Midland, Michigan
28 Sep 16
Don't think about what you are missing, Dianne, remember that at least your hubby is getting better all the time. I'm amazed at how far he's come in such a little time. It doesn't seem like it's been that many weeks already. When we look at what we don't have in life, that same life will seem hard, but when we remember to count our blessings it lightens the load.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
Thanks Marsha. You are right.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Sep 16
I think the most important thing on your list are the family things and a healthy husband. However, from what you wrote, that is also happening and soon you will be doing all those things again. You'll even be back in Florida being greeted by Orville.
2 people like this
@shivamani10 (11035)
• Hyderabad, India
28 Sep 16
fIRST IT IS HIS HEALTH THAT IS IMPORTANT THAN THE REMAINING THINGS.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
You are right!
@AmbiePam (92865)
• United States
29 Sep 16
That's a lot to miss. I'm so glad your hubby is making such progress!
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (180900)
• United States
29 Sep 16
We all have crosses to bear...if you can do these things again, you will be very grateful, there is nothing like going without to make you appreciate what you have.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
30 Sep 16
Yes, indeed.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
28 Sep 16
You missed a lot but dear please don't lose your mind. I hope you are just kidding. But as the saying goes, all these things will come to pass so just be patient. Stay strong.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
29 Sep 16
@DianneN Oh dear, I feel for you. It is not easy for an outgoing and sociable woman like you to be in that situation. But God is good. He will see you through.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
28 Sep 16
I did have a mini breakdown on Monday. I cried all day. I'm trying hard to stay strong and patient for my husband's sake, but it is not easy. Thanks for your support!
1 person likes this
@mom210 (9117)
• United States
30 Sep 16
I am one of those rare people that could sty inside forever, unless.....I had to, then it would drive me completely nuts. This will pass soon enough and you will both be able to get back to life. It will be a long forgotten memory.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
30 Sep 16
I'm hoping it becomes a long forgotten memory and very soon at that! Lol! Yes, this too shall pass.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (99405)
• Atlanta, Georgia
29 Sep 16
Sounds like your husband is doing really well. You should be back to normal soon. Good luck to both of you.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
30 Sep 16
@RubyHawk Yes, he's receiving OT and does his exercises. Thanks for telling me about your DIL. Do you know how long it took for her to regain the use of her arms? You can PM me.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (99405)
• Atlanta, Georgia
1 Oct 16
@DianneN I don't remember exactly. This has been months ago, but I know it took quiet awhile. She's fine now and back to work every day. I'm sure your hubby will do as well following his doctors orders and doing his therapy.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (99405)
• Atlanta, Georgia
29 Sep 16
@DianneN One of my daughters in law had neck and shoulder surgery and she was in therapy a long time before she had full use of her arms. Does you hubby have therapy?
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (77080)
• Germany
29 Sep 16
So sorry to hear about what you missed. There will times when you can do those that you missed again. I hope and pray that your hubby recover more and more everyday. Be patience. All will be rewarded in the future. Take care.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
29 Sep 16
In retrospect, the things we have missed are just a blip. I just want my hubby well again.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (77080)
• Germany
29 Sep 16
@DianneN I agree.