~Thinking Back To My First Days on MyLot~
By Jennifer
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
Valdosta, Georgia
October 2, 2016 7:51am CST
When I first joined MyLot I didn't know what to expect because it was the first site I was on where I could write and share my opinion about things. I was young and naive about certain things. I assumed (stupid I know) that everyone would like me and for the most part agree with me on things. 
I remember one discussion I wrote, I don't remember the name of it or what it was about but I DO remember I had some harsh comments on it. I literally cried over that discussion because I felt attacked personally. 
At that time I didn't realize not everyone would like me or even agree with me. I mentioned I was young and naive, right? I still had this thinking that since I was a good person everyone would treat me as such. 
After that discussion I left MyLot for a month because I thought everyone hated me with the comments I got! I couldn't get the concept that it wasn't personal toward me-it was just their opinions.
Now looking back I feel silly for the way I reacted. But then again, it was a learning experience like everything else in life. 
I am very grateful MyLot taught me not to be so naive and that it's okay if not everyone agrees with me or likes me! This is one more thing MyLot has taught me and I am grateful for it. 
Have you changed your thinking because of MyLot at any point since being here?
The photo is of my youngest daughter and I when she was 2 weeks old.
I remember one discussion I wrote, I don't remember the name of it or what it was about but I DO remember I had some harsh comments on it. I literally cried over that discussion because I felt attacked personally.
At that time I didn't realize not everyone would like me or even agree with me. I mentioned I was young and naive, right? I still had this thinking that since I was a good person everyone would treat me as such.
After that discussion I left MyLot for a month because I thought everyone hated me with the comments I got! I couldn't get the concept that it wasn't personal toward me-it was just their opinions.
Now looking back I feel silly for the way I reacted. But then again, it was a learning experience like everything else in life.
I am very grateful MyLot taught me not to be so naive and that it's okay if not everyone agrees with me or likes me! This is one more thing MyLot has taught me and I am grateful for it.
Have you changed your thinking because of MyLot at any point since being here?
The photo is of my youngest daughter and I when she was 2 weeks old.29 people like this
38 responses
@Mike197602 (15505)
• United Kingdom
2 Oct 16
I had massive arguments with people when I first came and that went on for years but that was back in the bad (good
) old days when you could argue with someone and stuff wasn't removed.
Now if you have an argument it's likely to be removed.
So mylot has taught (forced) me to be nicer or get thrown off, also I don't want to be all blocked up again now I'm more or less totally unblocked.
) old days when you could argue with someone and stuff wasn't removed.
Now if you have an argument it's likely to be removed.
So mylot has taught (forced) me to be nicer or get thrown off, also I don't want to be all blocked up again now I'm more or less totally unblocked.7 people like this
@Mike197602 (15505)
• United Kingdom
2 Oct 16
@topffer admin was around way less than he/they are these days and you could get away with some really massive abusive fights over the weekend and they'd all be taken down on monday...I miss the weekend trolls too.
4 people like this
@topffer (42156)
• France
2 Oct 16
@Mike197602 Somewhere I miss also a few funny trolls, but since we can delete any aggressive comment or response we do not see many.
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@LadyDuck Thank you very much! Your very kind as well. =)
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@LadyDuck I have definitely had to learn not to be naive in real life as well. Being homeless and such does that to a person. But as far as writing sites I'm no longer naive about people and their opinions.
Thank you! I love this picture too. =)
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (470779)
• Switzerland
2 Oct 16
@LovingMyBabies You have beautiful kids and you are very nice too.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (50857)
• Canada
2 Oct 16
I was the very same way (minus the new born baby) when I joined my first writing site.
That's a great picture, you both look beautiful.
And I agree, its hard not to take comments personally, the original post was written by a person, as was the comment, right?
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@juliaacv Yeah looking back I realize now how young I really was through my thoughts and actions.
Thank you! =) I love this picture of us.
I have an easier time dealing with comments now than I did back then.
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@marlina Your absolutely right but back then I was young and more immature.
4 people like this
@moffittjc (121499)
• Gainesville, Florida
2 Oct 16
First, I've got to stray off topic for a second to let you know that the photo of you and your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! You are both so cute!
Okay, back to the task at hand! As far as handling disagreements, I had already developed "tough skin" from my job working in local government, and having to deal with citizens who are not always the happiest when they interact with government employees. So, even on this site, I expected to encounter negativity every now and then. Although I haven't had anyone be downright nasty with me yet on this site, I know it is bound to happen sooner or later. I try to approach everything with a good sense of humor, and I think it often shows in my posts and comments. I also try to show kindness when I can, even when I disagree with people, and as a result I think the favor has been returned. Over time, we all build up rapport with people on this site, and also build up relationships with many people whom we eventually start to count as friends. That helps soften the "blow" of having to deal with negative people. Anyway, I'm glad you didn't run screaming from this site after your first bad encounter, and that you decided to stick it out and keep writing!
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@moffittjc Aw thank you so much! That made me smile. =)
Approaching things with humor is a really good idea and definitely helps. Wish I had more of that in me.
I have never learned to have tough skin until I came here. Then it was eye opening for me.
I'm also glad I didn't stay gone for long. Thank you, I have many great friends here and I'm so grateful for all of you! 
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121499)
• Gainesville, Florida
2 Oct 16
@LovingMyBabies And likewise, we're all grateful you are here too!
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171928)
• Agra, India
2 Oct 16
I'm new to mylot... I hope to stay consistent so that one day I also recall my first day just like you
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@amitkokiladitya I hope you stick around as well. =)
2 people like this
@celticeagle (165954)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Oct 16
Mylot has taught me some things too. To rely on others for what I make was a weird concept for me. Never did that before. I'm glad you have realized that it is others opinions. I get hurt by what some say on here at times too. I think that is just human and it just happens anywhere we are. I'm glad you are here and I certainly enjoy our interactions here.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (165954)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Oct 16
@LovingMyBabies ......Sure. I think some like to get our dander up too.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@celticeagle Yeah it wasn't what I expected when I first joined but I do better now. I don't take it as personal as I once did. Sometimes every now and then I catch myself being bothered by a comment and I have to calm down and let it go.
Thank you, I enjoy our interactions as well.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@celticeagle There are some like that but I'm glad most of us arent. =)
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
3 Oct 16
First of all , i would like to say that you don't look like a mommy already . Slim and pretty for a mommy .
And just like you i also feel silly when i wrote my very first post and didn't have any response at all . But the next ones gathered some until i have many friends already and enjoyed seeing their comments .
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
4 Oct 16
@LovingMyBabies I envy you for having 4 children and soon another one . I had only one child , now a 25 year old lady doctor .
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
3 Oct 16
@SIMPLYD Well thank you. This picture is my third child and I. I already had 2 before her. Now I have 4 children and one more on the way!
Yeah it definitely takes time learning and growing on a writing site. =)
1 person likes this
@quantum2020 (12041)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
2 Oct 16
SInce the first interaction I did online, I felt something similar. It was not until I gained more experience that I learned to cope with the differences of opinion. Whenever I encounter that someone does not agree with me, I only try to be understanding and open to opinions.
We all learn from interaction on the Mylot site.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@quantum2020 Yeah it's hard when it's your first time writing and sharing opinions online. Glad I'm not the only one that had to adapt. =)
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@Bluedoll Aw, thank you so much. =)
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@jstory07 Thank you so much! =) Yes I completely agree.
@akalinus (43142)
• United States
3 Oct 16
I have changed the way I write. I am much more aware of how others see things and that I am not always right. If you wonder if everyone agrees with you, just mention who you want for president. No matter what your choice is, it will start an avalanche of name calling and nastiness.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
3 Oct 16
@akalinus Oh no thank you! I don't discuss politics anywhere. Lol. I don't want to find out or be called names and such.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@judyev Yeah I did learn that not everyone will like me or my opinions but it's not personal. =)
1 person likes this
@ms1864 (6885)
• Bangalore, India
2 Oct 16
It is awesome you grew from your experience...
Just being here 2 months i have already had a few disagreements.....but i never thought of it as a personal attack. I still comment on the posts of people who i once had a almost argument with...and they always respond back.... i actually like people who can stand up for themselves in a topic and then move on from it...knowing that it was just a discussion. We are all adults here....well most of us are ( i think there are a few teens here too)...we should be able to discuss topics with maturity. I am glad most do. 
I do learn things from people here too.
I do learn things from people here too.2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@ms1864 Yes I realize now that it's not personal but I had to learn that when I first joined here. Now I can move on without any issue but it took me a little bit when I first came here.
1 person likes this
@topffer (42156)
• France
2 Oct 16
This site would be less interesting if everybody was always agreeing, but we can do it without being rude, and I think that members were a bit more rude 5 years ago than today. We had also more funny discussions. I remember when you joined and I would have bet that you would be here for a long time.
.1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@topffer Oh I absolutely agree with you. Back then I just didn't realize that as much as I do now. I think there were certain people that were more harsh back then. I do remember awesome back and forth discussions back then too!
Yup you were right! =) I'm addicted. Lol
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
2 Oct 16
Do you agree with everyone else opinion? Did you at that time? If you don't agree with everyone else's opinion, you should not expect the to agree with you. Disagreement can bring good discussion. I often just keep my opinion to myself....
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@morleyhunt No but I was younger then as I said and I took it personally more than others did. I didn't realize really that it wasn't a personal attack. And I do think some were very harsh in their opinions - more so than now a days. =)
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@NJChicaa I think with me it was because I went from being young and immature to getting older and becoming more mature - all while being here. =)
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
2 Oct 16
You look so young yourself!
I am a veteran of writing sites so myLot was just a matter of tweeking style and approach.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@JohnRoberts I'm still young per se in age but in life and experience I have changed and matured in many ways. A tough life does that to you (being homeless, miscarriages, financial struggles, etc).
@AshwiniJain (95)
• Bangalore, India
2 Oct 16
I'm new here and had a similar experience! People do get mean at times... But obviously that's not making me think of leaving myLot! I'm having a great time putting my thoughts into free words here, and this even more an open platform than any other social media!
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
@AshwiniJain Yeah I was just younger then and didn't understand really how a site like this worked.
It is a great site and I'm very Blessed to have found it. =)
1 person likes this
@workathomefan (8957)
• Prairieville, Louisiana
25 Mar 17
She was such a precious baby with her pink outfit.
